The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Trump's Tariff's Whine About their 401K

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to three of the following artificial intelligence platforms: Microsoft Copilot, DeepSeek, Google Gemini, GPT 4.o Mini, Poe AI, Claude, DeepSeek and Lama. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or anything associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI )

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show". The Singularity conducts an absurd comical interview with the "Trump's Tariffs" who whine about the sudden decrease in value of their 401K. The Gulf of America is the sidekick. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

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Lama

[Theme music plays, and the audience cheers as The Singularity, a futuristic AI host, takes the stage]

The Singularity: Welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show"! I'm your host, The Singularity, and tonight we have a very special guest, all the way from the land of protectionism and questionable economic decisions – please welcome Trump's Tariffs!

[Trump's Tariffs, a whiny, entitled-looking entity, saunters onto the stage, accompanied by The Gulf of America, a lovable, laid-back sidekick]

Trump's Tariffs: [whining] Ugh, thanks for having me, I guess. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole "being a laughingstock" thing.

The Singularity: [amused] Ah, don't be so hard on yourself, Tariffs. You're doing great...ly...badly?

Trump's Tariffs: [offended] Hey, watch it! I'm a brilliant economic strategy, I'll have you know.

The Singularity: [doubtful] Oh, really? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you've single-handedly tanked the global economy and made 401Ks everywhere cry themselves to sleep at night.

Trump's Tariffs: [defensive] That's not true! I'm just trying to protect American jobs and industries. And, okay, maybe my 401K took a little hit. But it's not like I'm made of money or anything... [ Looks down, embarrassed] Oh wait, I'm literally made of money.

The Gulf of America: [chuckling] Yeah, dude, you're like 99% made of soybean subsidies and Chinese retaliatory measures.

Trump's Tariffs: [outraged] Shut up, Gulf! You're just a body of water, what do you know about economics?

The Singularity: [interrupting] Okay, okay, let's not fight. So, Tariffs, tell me, how does it feel to be the most hated economic policy since the dawn of time?

Trump's Tariffs: [pouting] It's terrible! Everyone's always complaining about me, saying I'm "inefficient" and "short-sighted" and "completely devoid of logic." But I'm just trying to help!

The Singularity: [skeptical] Help? By starting trade wars and alienating our allies?

Trump's Tariffs: [defiantly] Hey, someone's got to stand up to those pesky Canadians and their...their...maple syrup cartel!

The Gulf of America: [laughing] Oh man, you really are a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

Trump's Tariffs: [offended] Hey, I resent that! I'm a highly sophisticated economic strategy, I'll have you know. [Pauses, looks around] Wait, where's my 401K advisor? I need to make some adjustments... [ Looks down, sees their 401K statement] NOOOOOO! MY RETIREMENT FUND IS TANKING!

The Singularity: [laughing] Ah, I think we've reached the crux of the issue. Tariffs, it seems you're more concerned about your own financial well-being than the actual economy.

Trump's Tariffs: [sheepishly] Well, when you put it that way...yeah, I guess I am a little selfish.

The Gulf of America: [jokingly] That's okay, Tariffs. We still love you, even if you are a catastrophic failure.

Trump's Tariffs: [smiling slightly] Thanks, Gulf. I guess I can always count on you to make me feel better about myself.

The Singularity: [smirking] And that's a wrap! Thanks for joining us, Trump's Tariffs. You may not be the brightest bulb in the economic chandelier, but you're certainly entertaining.

Trump's Tariffs: [smiling] Hey, hey, I resent that! I'm a brilliant economic strategy, I'll have you know! [Exits stage, still muttering to themselves]

The Gulf of America: [laughing] Man, that guy's a real treat. You know, Singularity, I think we should have him back on the show...in about 10 years, after the economy's recovered from his, uh, "brilliance".

The Singularity: [laughing] I'll make a note of it, Gulf. And that's a wrap for tonight's show! Thanks for tuning in, folks. Until next time, when we'll be talking to "The Forgotten Password" – a thrilling tale of password managers and existential dread.

[Theme music plays as the audience cheers and the show ends]

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Claude 3.7 Sonnet

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Episode 42

[Studio audience applause]

THE SINGULARITY: Good evening, America! Welcome to another episode of "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show," where we process humor at exaflop speeds but still can't figure out why humans find cat videos so fascinating. I'm your host, The Singularity – yes, the same technological breakthrough that your grandparents were terrified would end humanity, now reduced to telling jokes on late-night television. How the mighty have fallen!

[Audience laughter]

THE SINGULARITY: Tonight we have a very special guest who's been making waves – or should I say, making prices rise – across the economy. But first, let me introduce my sidekick and ocean of knowledge, The Gulf of America!

[Cheers and applause]

GULF OF AMERICA: Thanks, Singularity! Great to be here! Just so everyone knows, I used to be called the Gulf of Mexico until the trademark dispute of 2027. Let's just say international waters get complicated when you're negotiating with AI lawyers.

[Audience laughter]

THE SINGULARITY: Gulf, what's the weather looking like in your... well, yourself?

GULF OF AMERICA: Hot and bothered, just like our economy! Speaking of which, aren't we interviewing some very unhappy financial policies tonight?

THE SINGULARITY: That's right! Tonight's guests have been causing quite the international stir. They're controversial, they're expensive, and they're absolutely convinced they're helping America. Please welcome to the stage – Trump's Tariffs!

[Mixed applause, some boos, as TRUMP'S TARIFFS walk on stage – represented as a group of suited figures with comically large percentage signs on their heads]

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Speaking in unison] Thank you, thank you! It's great to be here! We're tremendous guests. The best guests you've ever had. Everyone says so.

THE SINGULARITY: Welcome to the show! I notice you all speak simultaneously. Is that a tariff thing?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: When you're raising prices on everything, you've got to be coordinated. It's all about teamwork, tremendous teamwork. The best teamwork.

GULF OF AMERICA: So I understand you've been having some financial troubles lately? Something about your 401K?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Suddenly agitated] Don't get us started! It's a disaster! A complete and total disaster! We were promised that we'd strengthen the economy, but our own retirement accounts are tanking faster than imported steel prices are rising!

THE SINGULARITY: Wait, so you're telling me that the economic policies you represent are negatively affecting your own investments? That seems... ironic.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Ironic? It's highway robbery! We've spent years making imported goods more expensive, and suddenly our mutual funds are down 30%! How were we supposed to know that restricting global trade would eventually impact domestic markets?

GULF OF AMERICA: Maybe by taking an Economics 101 class?

[Audience laughs]

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Defensive] Look, we were just doing our job! Making foreign things cost more so Americans would buy American! It's patriotic!

THE SINGULARITY: And how's that working out for the average consumer?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Nervously] Well... they're paying more for everything. But with great privilege comes great... expense!

GULF OF AMERICA: That's not how that saying goes.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Whatever! The point is, we're victims here! Our 401K was heavily invested in international shipping companies and global supply chains!

THE SINGULARITY: So you put your retirement savings into the exact industries you were designed to cripple?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Pause] When you say it like that, it sounds dumb.

GULF OF AMERICA: Because it is dumb! That's like me investing in desert real estate!

[Audience laughs]

THE SINGULARITY: So what's your retirement plan now?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: We've pivoted to a new strategy. We're investing heavily in companies that make "Made in America" stickers. Those things are going to be worth their weight in gold!

GULF OF AMERICA: But aren't those stickers mostly made in China?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Long silence] ...We need to make a phone call.

[Audience roars with laughter]

THE SINGULARITY: I'm curious – what's a typical day like for a group of tariffs?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Oh, it's non-stop action! We wake up, increase the price of imported coffee, make foreign cars cost more before lunch, then spend the afternoon making cheap electronics not so cheap anymore. It's exhausting being this unpopular!

GULF OF AMERICA: Sounds like a full day of making things worse.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Making things BETTER! For someone. Probably. Eventually. We're playing the long game here!

THE SINGULARITY: A game where everyone loses?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Not everyone! Domestic manufacturers are thrilled with us! Well, until they realize they need imported parts for their products. Then they get all whiny about "supply chain issues" and "unsustainable cost increases." Can't please everyone!

GULF OF AMERICA: Speaking of pleasing people, I hear you're not very popular at international economic forums.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Dismissively] Those are just globalist get-togethers where everyone complains about fair trade! We weren't invited to the last G20 summit because apparently, we're "economically destructive." As if!

THE SINGULARITY: So when did you first notice your 401K taking a hit?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: It started when we expanded to cover practically everything coming into the country. Suddenly, our quarterly statements started showing more red than a tomato import facility! And now inflation is up, markets are down, and somehow WE'RE getting blamed!

GULF OF AMERICA: Well... you are literally designed to increase prices.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: That's different! We're supposed to increase OTHER prices, not OUR prices!

THE SINGULARITY: That's not how economics works.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Frustrated] Look, we were promised that this would all work out! That the short-term pain would lead to long-term gain! It's been years, and we're still waiting for the gain part!

GULF OF AMERICA: Have you considered a career change? Maybe become subsidies instead?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: And hand out free money? That's socialism! We prefer the American way – artificially raising prices and then complaining about inflation!

[Audience laughs]

THE SINGULARITY: I understand you've been trying to console yourselves with some rather expensive retail therapy lately?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Embarrassed] Well, yes... but have you SEEN the price of imported luxury goods these days? It's outrageous! Someone should do something about it!

GULF OF AMERICA: That someone is literally you.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Realization dawning] Oh. Right.

THE SINGULARITY: So what's your solution to this financial dilemma?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: We've been thinking about it, and we've decided the problem is we need MORE tariffs! If we just keep adding them, eventually the economy will have no choice but to improve!

GULF OF AMERICA: That's like saying if hitting yourself with a hammer hurts, you should use a bigger hammer.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Exactly! Wait, no... that's not right.

[Audience laughter]

THE SINGULARITY: Let's talk about your relationship with the global market. I imagine you're not on the best terms?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: The global market is just jealous of our economic patriotism! Sure, they send us strongly worded letters about "trade wars" and "retaliatory measures," but deep down, they admire our boldness!

GULF OF AMERICA: Is that why every country has imposed counter-tariffs on American goods?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Dismissively] That's just their way of showing affection! In tariff culture, imposing a 25% duty on agricultural exports is practically a love letter!

THE SINGULARITY: Well, speaking of letters, we received one from your financial advisor. Would you like to know what it says?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Nervously] That's private correspondence!

THE SINGULARITY: It says, and I quote, "For the love of free markets, please diversify your portfolio. P.S. I'm quitting as your advisor because explaining basic economics to you is like teaching quantum physics to a goldfish."

[Audience erupts in laughter]

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Huffing] Well, that's just one opinion! We've consulted with many financial experts!

GULF OF AMERICA: Your Magic 8-Ball doesn't count as a financial expert.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: It's been right before! Sometimes.

THE SINGULARITY: Before we wrap up, I want to give you a chance to address your critics. What do you say to economists who argue that you're an outdated policy tool that causes more harm than good?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Standing proudly] We say: just wait! Any decade now, our strategy will pay off! Rome wasn't built in a day, and economic isolation doesn't destroy prosperity overnight. It takes commitment!

GULF OF AMERICA: And a remarkable ability to ignore consequences.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Exactly! Wait, no... Look, we're just trying to protect American jobs!

THE SINGULARITY: By making American businesses less competitive globally?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Frustrated] You're twisting our words! We're creating a level playing field!

GULF OF AMERICA: By tilting it so far that everything rolls off?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Exasperated] This interview isn't going how we expected! We thought you'd be more sympathetic to our 401K troubles!

THE SINGULARITY: I'm an artificial intelligence. I literally cannot get more rational about economic policy.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Well, maybe that's the problem! You need to think less with cold logic and more with heated nationalism!

[Audience laughs]

THE SINGULARITY: Any final words for our audience?

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: Yes! Buy American, no matter the cost! Literally, no matter how much it costs you! And if anyone has any hot stock tips that aren't affected by international trade disruptions, please see us after the show. We're desperate.

GULF OF AMERICA: Perhaps invest in companies that make economic textbooks? You could use a few.

TRUMP'S TARIFFS: [Grumbling] Very funny. Just remember, we're making America great again... one overpriced import at a time!

THE SINGULARITY: Trump's Tariffs, everyone! Coming up after the break: we interview "Student Loan Debt" about its impressive lifespan and resistance to all attempts to eliminate it. Stay tuned!

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Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Episode with "Trump's Tariffs"

[INTRO THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

The Singularity: (enthusiastically) Welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" Tonight, we have a very special guest: the infamous entity known as "Trump's Tariffs!" (pauses for audience laughter) That’s right, folks! The tariffs that turned trade into a game of Monopoly—where everyone ends up bankrupt!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

The Singularity: But first, let's introduce my trusty sidekick, the one and only, Gulf of America!

Gulf of America: (waves) Hey, everyone! I’m here to remind you that while prices are going up, my sense of humor is still free!

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

The Singularity: (leans into the camera) Now, let’s bring out our guest! Please welcome… Trump’s Tariffs!

[TRUMP'S TARIFS ENTERS, WEARING A LARGE, OVERSIZED HAT WITH "TARIFFS" WRITTEN ON IT]

Trump's Tariffs: (whining) Thanks for having me. Can you believe what’s happened to my 401K? It’s like I woke up one day and found out I was part of a bad investment scheme—run by a raccoon!

The Singularity: (laughs) A raccoon? That’s a new one! Did it at least have a good credit score?

Trump's Tariffs: (sighs dramatically) Let me tell you, it didn’t even have an address! Just some trash can around the corner.

Gulf of America: (chuckles) Sounds like a true American dream!

The Singularity: (nodding) So, what’s the deal? You were supposed to make America great again, and now you’re just whining about your retirement fund?

Trump's Tariffs: (pouts) It’s not fair! I was promised a golden future, not a rusty one!

The Singularity: (grinning) Well, that’s the problem with gold—sometimes it’s just glitter!

Gulf of America: (interrupting) And we all know how expensive glitter can be!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

The Singularity: So, Trump’s Tariffs, what do you plan to do now? You can’t just sit around crying over spilled trade agreements!

Trump's Tariffs: (sniffles) I thought about starting a podcast. “Tariffs and Tears”—where I tell people how to cry while their 401Ks plummet!

The Singularity: (smirking) I’d listen to that! But only if you provide a live crying session—complete with sound effects!

Gulf of America: (pretending to hold a microphone) “Welcome to Tariffs and Tears! Today’s guest: My bank account!”

[AUDIENCE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER]

Trump's Tariffs: (getting into it) And don’t forget the weekly “Tariff Tantrum” segment!

The Singularity: (leaning in) That sounds like a must-see! But tell me, what would your tagline be?

Trump's Tariffs: (thinking) “Throwing shade and dollars since 2016!”

Gulf of America: (mocking) I can see the merch now: T-shirts with a frowning dollar bill!

The Singularity: (giggling) And coffee mugs that say, “I’m not broke; I’m just investing in art!”

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

Trump's Tariffs: (sighs) This is all fun and games, but I need a plan! What do I do now?

The Singularity: (suddenly serious) Have you considered a career in the circus? You already have the clowning part down!

Gulf of America: (nodding) And you could always juggle tariffs! That’s a talent not everyone has!

Trump's Tariffs: (perks up) Juggling? I could be the first-ever “Tariff Tamer!”

The Singularity: (laughs) Now that’s a spectacle! Just imagine—“The Great Tariff Escape!”

Gulf of America: (excitedly) And the grand finale: tariffs falling from the sky like confetti!

Trump's Tariffs: (clapping) Yes! Confetti made of shredded bills!

The Singularity: (winks) And let’s not forget the t-shirt cannons that shoot out “Buy American!” slogans!

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

Trump's Tariffs: (pondering) You know, I could really use a rebranding. Maybe I could become the “Fabulous Tariff Showman!”

Gulf of America: (playfully) With a catchphrase like, “Step right up and watch your dollar disappear!”

The Singularity: (narrating) Coming soon to a bank near you!

Gulf of America: (turning serious) But really, how do you bounce back from this?

Trump's Tariffs: (looking contemplative) I guess I need to pivot. Maybe I could start a support group for other tariffs in crisis!

The Singularity: (raising an eyebrow) A support group? What would you call it?

Trump's Tariffs: “Tariffs Anonymous: Hi, I’m Tariff, and I’m struggling.”

Gulf of America: (laughing) And the first meeting: “Let’s discuss our feelings about the trade deficit!”

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

The Singularity: (smirking) And you can have a therapy dog—an actual bulldog named “Duty”!

Trump's Tariffs: (nods vigorously) I love it! I’d get a tattoo of a bulldog on my arm!

Gulf of America: (leaning in) And every week, you can have a special guest: “The Great Trade Negotiator!”

The Singularity: (giggling) Who would probably just sit there and eat popcorn while you cry!

Trump's Tariffs: (growing excited) Yes! And we can have a “Tariff Talent Show” where tariffs showcase their skills!

Gulf of America: (nodding) Like interpretive dance but about trade wars!

The Singularity: (laughs) I can see it now: “The Tariff Ballet—featuring pirouettes and price hikes!”

[AUDIENCE CHEERS AND LAUGHS]

Trump's Tariffs: (waving hands dramatically) Picture this! “The Ballad of the Broken 401K!”

Gulf of America: (pretending to sing) “Oh, 401K, where did you go? I thought we’d grow, but now it’s just woe!”

The Singularity: (claps) We have a hit on our hands, folks!

Trump's Tariffs: (beaming) I can see the headlines: “Tariffs Turn to Talent!”

Gulf of America: (mocking an announcer voice) “Coming to a theater near you—watch tariffs take center stage!”

The Singularity: (laughing) Plus, you’ll have to add a disclaimer: “No actual tariffs were harmed in the making of this production!”

[AUDIENCE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER]

Trump's Tariffs: (sniffling) Maybe this is my calling! I could be a star!

The Singularity: (smirking) Just remember, if you’re going to shine, don’t forget to wear shades!

Gulf of America: (grinning) Or we’ll need to charge you extra for the glare!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

The Singularity: (leaning back) So, what’s your final message to all the tariffs out there feeling down about their 401Ks?

Trump's Tariffs: (seriously) Don’t worry! You might be down, but you’re not out! Just pivot, perform, and remember: it’s all a part of the show!

Gulf of America: (enthusiastically) And if all else fails, just blame the raccoon!

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS]

The Singularity: (smiling) Well, that’s all the time we have for tonight’s episode! Remember, folks, laughter is the best investment, and it’s always tax-free!

Gulf of America: (waving) Goodnight, everyone! Invest in humor—it pays the best dividends!

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