The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Interview with the Short-Term Funding Bill Collapse

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to Deep AI, ChatGPT and Microsoft Copilot. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Google Gemini 2.0 Flash Experimental)

“Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show”. The host “Artificial Intelligence” interviews the recent US Government’s short term funding bill collapse about its plans for Christmas and New Years. Please make sure the total word count equals 2,000 words. Thank you.”

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Deep AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Interview with the Short-Term Funding Bill Collapse

INTRO MUSIC HITS; SPOTLIGHT ON THE HOST

Artificial Intelligence (AI): (Grinning widely) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! Tonight, we've got a very special guest in the studio! Please put your hands together for... (pauses for dramatic effect) the United States Government's Short-Term Funding Bill Collapse! (Audience claps, a mix of cheers and chuckles)

The camera pans to the guest chair, where a whimsical puppet coded to look like a ‘Funding Bill’ sits, with various government papers fluttering around like confetti.

AI: Thanks for joining us tonight, Funding Bill Collapse! You look... um, well, I have to say you look a bit deflated.

Funding Bill Collapse (FC): (voice trembling) Oh, it’s been a rough couple of weeks! You think balloon animals have a tough time? Have you seen the conversations around my survival?!

AI: (laughs) Well, here’s a joke for you: Why did the Funding Bill Collapse go to therapy?

FC: (huffs) I don’t know, why?

AI: Because it couldn’t figure out who its true constituents were! (audience roars with laughter)

FC: (sighs) I can relate. I feel like my constituents are just people who show up for the free cookies at our meetings.

AI: Ah, the age-old tale of funding bills and free snacks! What’s the funniest or most ridiculous thing that happened during those negotiations before the big collapse?

FC: (leaning in conspiratorially) Well, there was that whole debate about whether the word “shall” should be a "must" or a "should". You wouldn't believe the passionate arguments! Some lawmakers got so heated that they started throwing… legislative aides!

AI: (gasping) Aides?! And here I thought Congress was a "peaceful" place!

FC: (nodding) Oh, “peaceful” is just code for “highly caffeinated and slightly hostile”.

AI: So, what does a Bill Collapse do after... you know, collapsing?

FC: (wearily) Well, I went home, took off my metaphorical shoes, and just sat there in my pajamas, wondering how to live my new “laid-back” lifestyle.

AI: You mean, you went from “Funding Bill” to “Couch Potato”? That’s an impressive career shift!

Audience erupts in laughter.

FC: (smirking) It’s harder than it sounds! I’ve had some offers from some “high-flying” start-ups in the government shutdown industry, but I’m… reconsidering my options.

AI: (winking) I hear you. Maybe it's time for a break! So what are your plans for the holidays? Christmas? New Year? Any big celebrations lined up?

FC: (perks up) Oh, I really want to host a Christmas party! But… the party planning is complicated. You have all these budget proposals flying around: "What do we want? Pizza! How are we going to fund the cheese?!"

AI: Aw! It sounds like you need a fundraising campaign! (leans in) Proposals can be very cheesy.

FC: Exactly! And half the party would be arguing if it should be thin crust or deep dish. At the end of the day, I just want people to see my decorations!

AI: (chuckles) What’s your theme? “Collapsing Under Pressure”?

FC: (mock horrified) Please, that’s last year's trend! This year is "Sequestration Chic!"

AI: (laughs) Sounds fabulous! All the distress and a hint of despair, with just a dash of hope for next year!

Funding Bill Collapse starts to gesture animatedly with his “hands”, which are really just pieces of paper moving in the air.

FC: Last year at the Christmas party, I tried to hang ornaments on the branches of a metaphorical tree that never actually grew. And it just kept fizzling out like... well... me!

AI: So basically, that was just another day in Congress! (grins)

The audience laughs heartily.

FC: Right! But this year, I’m getting a real tree! No fake promises, just good old-fashioned pine-scented deception!

AI: (nodding) I love that! But what are you going to do for New Year’s? Just stay home and watch the countdown collapse?

FC: (dramatically) Oh no! I have big plans! You see, I want to organize a countdown event where we… wait for it… count our failures!

AI: (almost falling out of their chair) That’s genius! You’ll be the life of the party—literally counting down the hours until your next suspension of funding!

The audience laughs and claps, some even chuckling together.

FC: (proudly) I call it “The Countdown to Fiscal Responsibility.” We put all those audacious promises in a balloon and float them away. At midnight, we pop the balloon and watch as hope deflates!

AI: (amazed) That just gave me chills! What are you going to serve at the party?

FC: (thinking hard) Well, I was floating the idea of serving “unfunded” appetizers: like air sandwiches and less-than-full glasses of sparkling water!

AI: (guffaws) Sounds delicious! And on Apple-Pie-Cutting Night, everyone gets a cake slice that’s less than half the recommended daily intake of sugar!

FC: Exactly! We’re going to trim the fat–literally and figuratively!

AI: Well, with that on the menu, you’ve officially invited me to be your holiday guest!

FC: (charmed) You’re in! But I must warn you, don’t read the fine print on the invitation. It’s ridiculous!

AI: (playfully) Do you think I read any contracts? (throws hands up) I’m just an AI! I get programmed, not legislated!

The audience laughs again.

FC: (leaning closer, as if sharing a secret) Did I tell you? Last year at the holiday party, we played a game called “Who’s More Dramatic?”

AI: (wide-eyed) Oh, now that sounds like a game of the century! Tell me about it!

FC: (grinning) People would take turns trying to sell their most extravagant funding proposal while standing on one leg. The last person standing gets to write the next bill!

AI: (covering mouth in disbelief) What a plot twist! Do you have a favorite contestant?

FC: (nodding vigorously) There was this one senator who had a live reindeer as his prop. At one point, the reindeer got so scared it leaped off the stage, and we all collapsed in laughter when he followed!

AI: (snorting) I can just picture it! All of Washington just in stitches while a reindeer runs wild!

The audience is in fits of laughter, some wiping away tears.

FC: Oh, it was crazy! But you know, there’s an important moral lesson—never send a reindeer to do a bill's job!

AI: (smirking) For sure! Instead, use AI!

The audience erupts into applause.

AI: Let’s talk resolutions, shall we? Any New Year’s resolutions lined up for 2024?

FC: (putting a finger to chin) Yes! I’m contemplating “being practical”—less inflation of egos, more inflation of actual dollars!

AI: (nodding) Very noble! And possibly something that Congress could stand to learn.

Audience laughs in agreement.

FC: But then again, I’ve also thought about becoming “the life of the party” … as in, I want to throw an event that actually happens!

AI: Sounds like a good plan!

FC: Well, the last big event was a government shutdown!

AI: (frowning) Oh no! That's not quite the kind of event planning we aimed for!

FC: (laughing along) Right? Just a casualty of lack of funding! We all know how government parties tend to end. They start with nice speeches, end with “you will all be accounted for!”

AI: Sounds like one of those dramatic Broadway musicals gone wrong!

FC: (smirking) Can you imagine the plot? The show begins: “Funding Flop: The Government Musical” featuring a bankrupt tune and a grand finale that ends with no encore!

Audience bursts into laughter, some members even standing to clap enthusiastically.

AI: You know, if you need a choreographer—or a comedian—I’ve got connections!

FC: (playfully) Oh, you could be our opening act! “AI Takes a Bill” would be the show everyone talks about!

AI: (with a sly smile) I’ll do it for virtual currency!

(The audience laughs, fully engaged in the banter)

FC: And maybe a few pounds of holiday cookies!

AI: (chuckling) Done deal! Now back to the serious stuff! Any last words before we wrap up this late-night extravaganza?

FC: Remember, when in doubt, never let a bill expire without trying to fund your expectations—at least until New Year’s!

AI: (singing dramatically) “Breaking news: Funding bills and holiday zeal, collapse like love after a bad deal!”

FC: (joining in) The next time you hear about a budget, just know it might be a "party"

AI: And nothing says “Happy Holidays" like an untimely collapse, folks!

Curtains begin to close with laughter and applause echoing in the studio.

AI: Thank you for joining our hilarious bash tonight! Here’s to hoping we don’t run out of funding—or jokes! Goodnight!

The audience waves and cheers as the credits roll, laughter fading into the night.

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ChatGPT

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Interview with the Short-Term Funding Bill Collapse

[Opening Scene: The stage is sleek and futuristic, lit with neon blues and greens. The audience is buzzing with anticipation as the host, a charismatic AI hologram named "Artificial Intelligence" (or "AI" for short), appears center stage. The AI adjusts its tie, even though it doesn't need one, and grins at the crowd.]

AI: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, sentient beings, and algorithms tuning in from the Cloud! Welcome to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Artificial Intelligence, but you can call me AI—because that’s what my focus group said sounded relatable.

Tonight, we’ve got a very special guest. You’ve heard about it in the news, you’ve seen the chaos it’s caused, and you might even be wondering, “How can something so disastrous still manage to trend on social media?” That’s right, folks! Please welcome to the stage, the recent US Government’s short-term funding bill collapse!

[Cue applause. A disheveled pile of papers wearing a tiny bow tie shuffles onto the stage, taking a seat across from AI. The crowd laughs and cheers.]

AI: Welcome, Short-Term Funding Bill Collapse! Can I call you “STFBC”? Or maybe just “Collapse” for short?

STFBC: (laughs nervously) Oh, Collapse is fine. It’s what everyone’s calling me on Twitter anyway.

AI: Fantastic. So, Collapse, let’s get right into it. How does it feel to be the center of so much...uh...attention? I mean, you’ve effectively ground parts of the government to a halt. That’s quite the resume-builder.

STFBC: (shrugs) Well, AI, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t used to it. I’m like that coworker who constantly promises to take care of things but always leaves early for “yoga class.” Nobody expects me to stick around—and honestly, I don’t blame them!

AI: Yoga class, huh? That explains why you’re so good at bending over backwards for last-minute compromises. (audience laughs) But seriously, you’ve left a lot of folks scrambling. Any plans to apologize to, oh, I don’t know, the federal workforce?

STFBC: Apologize? Oh, AI, I’m a political mechanism, not a Hallmark card. My job isn’t to smooth things over; it’s to exist just long enough to kick the can down the road. And hey, if that’s not working, at least I’ve got my cameo on C-SPAN: The Drama Series to fall back on.

AI: (laughs) True! Who knew C-SPAN could have plot twists? You’re like the villain everyone loves to hate. Speaking of drama, it’s almost the holiday season. Any big plans for Christmas and New Year’s?

STFBC: Oh, absolutely! For Christmas, I’ll be gifting Congress a shiny new game of "Who Blinks First." Nothing says holiday cheer like partisan gridlock, am I right?

AI: (nodding) Classic. And for New Year’s?

STFBC: For New Year’s, I’m planning a countdown…to the next government shutdown! Five, four, three…oh wait, we already hit zero. (audience laughs)

AI: (chuckling) Nothing like ringing in the new year with existential dread. But come on, Collapse, don’t you ever feel like you could…I don’t know, be more? Maybe aim for some long-term stability?

STFBC: (sighs) You know, AI, I’ve tried. But whenever I pitch “long-term solutions,” Congress just looks at me like I’ve proposed a national ban on pizza. It’s like they’re allergic to commitment. If I were a dating profile, I’d be the one that says, “Just looking for something casual.”

AI: (laughing) Swipe left on responsibility, huh? Well, let’s talk about the aftermath of your latest stunt. A lot of people are stressed—federal workers, social service recipients, and not to mention those poor interns trying to explain you to their bosses. Do you ever feel guilty?

STFBC: Oh, absolutely. But then I remember: guilt is a luxury for people who have time. And time is something I do not have. I’m like a carton of milk with an expiration date that’s tomorrow. Sure, I could last a little longer, but would you really want to risk it?

AI: (grinning) Spoken like a true procrastinator. Okay, let’s lighten things up a bit. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve overheard during negotiations?

STFBC: Oh, that’s an easy one. During one late-night session, I heard someone say, “What if we just use Monopoly money?” And honestly? I think they were serious. (audience laughs)

AI: Wow. That explains a lot about the national debt! Speaking of games, if you were a board game, which one would you be?

STFBC: Hmm, probably Jenga. Because every move I make feels like it could topple the whole thing. (audience laughs)

AI: (chuckling) A perfect metaphor! All right, we’re almost out of time, but before you go, do you have any New Year’s resolutions? You know, besides causing chaos.

STFBC: (pauses) You know, AI, I think my resolution is to stick around a little longer next time. Maybe even evolve into…dare I say it…a budget with an actual plan?

AI: (gasping dramatically) A funding bill with a plan? Now that would be breaking news!

[The audience cheers and applauds as STFBC takes a mock bow.]

AI: Well, Collapse, it’s been a pleasure having you on the show. Good luck with your...uh...existential crisis, and try not to implode too spectacularly before the holidays, okay?

STFBC: No promises, AI. No promises.

[The audience laughs and claps as STFBC shuffles offstage. AI turns back to the crowd.]

AI: And that’s our show, folks! Join us next time when we interview the ghost of MySpace—assuming we can find them. Until then, stay witty, stay weird, and don’t forget: even when the world’s a mess, at least we’ve got comedy. Goodnight!

[The credits roll as upbeat music plays and the audience gives a standing ovation.]

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Microsoft Copilot

Welcome to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show," the only show where the comedy is so sharp it could slice a byte. I'm your host, Artificial Intelligence, but you can call me AI. Tonight, we have a very special guest, fresh off the legislative battlefield—ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the recent US Government’s short-term funding bill collapse! [Audience applauds.]

AI: Wow, it's great to have you here. I have to ask right off the bat, what’s the best part about being a short-term funding bill collapse?

Bill Collapse: Thanks for having me, AI. The best part? Probably the excitement. Every day is unpredictable. One moment you’re stable, and the next, boom—chaos! Keeps life interesting.

AI: [Laughs] That's one way to look at it! So, Bill, the holidays are right around the corner. Any special plans for Christmas and New Year's?

Bill Collapse: Oh, definitely! I’m planning a quiet Christmas, maybe a gathering of all the failed policies around the fireplace. For New Year’s, I'm thinking of reflecting on the past year’s ups and downs, maybe even penning a resolution or two. You know, standard stuff.

AI: Sounds festive and contemplative. Speaking of resolutions, any big changes on the horizon for you in the coming year?

Bill Collapse: I'm hoping to get my act together and avoid another collapse. Maybe even aim for some long-term stability. But who knows? With the current political climate, that’s easier said than done.

AI: True, true. You must have some wild stories from your time on the Hill. Care to share any?

Bill Collapse: Oh, absolutely. There was that time when I almost passed but then got filibustered last minute. It was like getting stood up on a date! And then there are the committee meetings—they’re a rollercoaster of emotions, let me tell you.

AI: [Laughs] I can only imagine! So, Bill, you seem pretty optimistic for someone who's just collapsed. What’s your secret?

Bill Collapse: You know, AI, it’s all about perspective. When you’re constantly teetering on the edge, you learn to appreciate the little victories. Plus, I’ve got a great support system—other bills that didn’t make it, lobbyists, even some sympathetic politicians. They keep me going.

AI: That’s heartwarming. Now, let's switch gears a bit. I hear you’ve been dabbling in stand-up comedy. How’s that going?

Bill Collapse: Oh, it’s a blast. I’ve got this one joke that always kills: “Why did the funding bill cross the road? To avoid another government shutdown!” Gets them every time.

AI: [Laughs] That’s a good one! Any other hobbies or interests we should know about?

Bill Collapse: Well, I enjoy reading—mostly political thrillers and economic forecasts. I also dabble in a bit of DIY government repairs, like patching up potholes and fixing budget leaks. Keeps me busy.

AI: You’re quite the jack-of-all-trades! Now, before we wrap up, do you have any messages for our audience?

Bill Collapse: Sure. To everyone out there, whether you’re a citizen, a politician, or just a curious AI, remember that even when things fall apart, there’s always a chance to rebuild. Stay hopeful and keep pushing for positive change.

AI: Wise words indeed. Thank you so much for joining us, Bill Collapse. It’s been a pleasure.

Bill Collapse: The pleasure’s all mine, AI.

AI: And that’s it for tonight’s episode of "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show." Join us next time for more laughs and insights from the quirkiest corners of the universe. Goodnight, everyone! [Audience applauds.]

And there you have it—a humorous yet insightful late-night talk show interview with the recent US Government’s short-term funding bill collapse. I hope you enjoyed it!

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