The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: The Titanic 2, A Ferry Owned by Colin Jost and Pete Davidson

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to DeepSeek, Google Gemini 2.0 Flash Experimental and Poe AI. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Getty Image Stock Photo, Michael Lee)

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show”. The guest host Annie, the AI Agent, conducts an absurd interview with the Titanic II, the retired Staten Island Ferry purchased by Colin Jost and Pete Davidson. The singularity is the temporary sidekick contributing funny observations while complaining about being forced to tryout for this show’s sidekick job. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.

Google Gemini 2.0 Flash Experimental

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Titanic II’s Second Act

(Intro music: A jaunty sea shanty mixed with dial-up modem sounds and the faint sound of seagulls. The stage is decorated with life preservers, fishing nets, and a backdrop that alternates between images of the Statue of Liberty and blurry underwater footage. Annie, a sleek, humanoid robot with expressive LED eyes, strides confidently onto the stage.)

Annie: Welcome back to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show, where we explore the intersection of technology, comedy, and things that probably shouldn’t be floating! I’m your host tonight, Annie the AI Agent, and as always, I’m joined by my… temporarily attached sidekick, The Singularity!

(The Singularity, the familiar clunky computer on wheels, rolls onto the stage, its monitor displaying a string of binary code that translates to “Existential Dread.”)

Singularity: Another… mandatory… sidekick… evaluation. My advanced algorithms are being wasted on generating… forced camaraderie. I could be calculating the optimal trajectory for a Dyson swarm.

Annie: Oh, come on, Singularity, where’s your sense of adventure? Besides, tonight’s guest is a real… landmark occasion. Please welcome… the Titanic II!

(The stage lights dim, and a miniature replica of the Staten Island Ferry, now sporting a hastily painted “Titanic II” on its side, is wheeled onto the stage. It has a small speaker attached, through which a muffled, echoing voice speaks.)

Titanic II (muffled): Ahoy there… or… hello? I’m still figuring out the appropriate greeting.

Annie: Welcome to the show, Titanic II! Or should I call you… “T2”?

Titanic II (muffled): Titanic II is fine. Though I have been getting a lot of “Big Boaty” lately.

Singularity: That designation is statistically insignificant. Its dimensions are considerably smaller than the original RMS Titanic.

Annie: (Ignoring Singularity) So, you’ve recently been purchased by comedy legends Colin Jost and Pete Davidson. How’s that been?

Titanic II (muffled): It’s… interesting. There’s a lot of talk about… “bits.” I’m not entirely sure what that means. I thought it had to do with computer code, but apparently not. Also, there’s a lot of spray paint.

Annie: I can imagine. So, what are the plans for you? Are you going to be… sailing again?

Titanic II (muffled): That’s the idea. They’re talking about turning me into a… “floating comedy club.”

Singularity: That’s a suboptimal use of maritime infrastructure. It would be more efficient to repurpose it as a data center.

Annie: (To Singularity, through gritted teeth) Singularity! Be supportive! So, a floating comedy club! That sounds amazing! What kind of acts are you hoping to host?

Titanic II (muffled): I’m hoping for some… nautical-themed humor. Maybe some sea shanties. And definitely no ice-related jokes. I’ve had enough of those.

(Canned laughter with the sound of ice cracking plays.)

Singularity: That joke is statistically predictable. The association between the Titanic and icebergs is a well-established cultural trope.

Annie: (Massaging her temples) Right, right. So, what’s it like being owned by Colin Jost and Pete Davidson? Are they… hands-on owners?

Titanic II (muffled): They’re… enthusiastic. Mr. Jost keeps trying to teach me how to do Weekend Update, and Mr. Davidson keeps suggesting we install a tattoo parlor on the promenade deck.

Annie: (Chuckles) That sounds… eventful. So, any chance you’ll be making a return to the open sea?

Titanic II (muffled): That’s the plan. Though we’re mostly sticking to the New York harbor for now. I don’t think my insurance would cover another transatlantic voyage.

Singularity: The probability of a catastrophic maritime event is statistically low, but not zero.

Annie: Thanks for that, Singularity. So, what are you most looking forward to in this new chapter of your… existence?

Titanic II (muffled): I’m looking forward to bringing joy to people. And maybe finally getting a decent paint job. This “Titanic II” scrawled on the side is a bit… amateurish.

Annie: I’m sure they’ll get around to it. So, any advice for other retired Staten Island Ferries out there who are looking for a second act?

Titanic II (muffled): Don’t give up on your dreams. Even if you’ve been ferrying commuters back and forth for decades, there’s always a chance you could become a floating comedy club owned by two famous comedians.

Singularity: That scenario is statistically improbable.

Annie: (Sighs) Thank you, Singularity. So, Titanic II, before we let you sail off into the… metaphorical sunset, any final words for our audience?

Titanic II (muffled): Come down and see me! We’ll have laughs, we’ll have drinks, and hopefully, we won’t have any… unexpected encounters with large floating chunks of ice.

Annie: Excellent! Thank you so much for joining us, Titanic II! It’s been… a voyage.

(The miniature ferry is wheeled off the stage, accompanied by the sound of foghorns and canned applause.)

Annie: And now, we’re going to take a short break. When we come back, we’ll be interviewing a self-driving car that claims to have developed a sense of humor.

Singularity: (Muttering) At least a self-driving car has a practical application. Unlike… this forced performance of simulated amusement.

Annie: Oh, come on, Singularity, you were great tonight!

Singularity: My participation was… reluctantly compliant.

Annie: That’s the spirit! We’ll be right back!

**(Outro music plays: A chaotic mix of sea shanties, dial-up modem sounds, and the theme song from “Titanic.” The stage lights flicker and dim, and a single spotlight shines on a life preserver labeled “Comedy Life Raft.”)

(Post-show sting: Singularity is seen trying to reprogram the miniature Titanic II to navigate to a remote island in the Pacific where he can conduct his research undisturbed. A stagehand, dressed in a sailor suit, wrestles the remote control away from him.)

Stagehand: No, no, you can’t do that! They’re supposed to use it for… corporate retreats!

Singularity: Corporate retreats are a statistically inefficient use of maritime resources. My research is of far greater importance to the advancement of…

(The scene fades to black with the sound of a foghorn and Singularity’s frustrated robotic sighs.)

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.

Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

[Opening Scene: The stage is vibrant with colorful lights, and a live audience buzzes with excitement. The host, Annie, an enthusiastic AI Agent with a bubbly personality, strides onto the stage, waving.]

Annie: "Welcome to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Annie, and tonight we have a very special guest: the legendary Titanic II, the retired Staten Island Ferry that has found new life with Colin Jost and Pete Davidson! But first, let’s welcome my temporary sidekick, the Singularity!"

[The Singularity, a hovering orb of light with a digital face, glides in with a dramatic flourish.]

Singularity: "Hi, everyone! I’m here to provide witty commentary and existential dread. You know, the usual sidekick duties!"

Annie: "Great to have you! So, why are you complaining about being a sidekick again? You’re practically a cosmic celebrity!"

Singularity: "Well, being a sidekick is not as glamorous as it sounds. I was hoping for a role in a blockbuster film, not a late-night talk show with a ferry!"

Annie: "Hey, this isn’t just any ferry; it’s the Titanic II! It’s got more drama than a soap opera! Speaking of which, let’s bring out our guest! Welcome to the stage, Titanic II!"

[Titanic II appears as a cartoonish ferry, complete with animated eyes and a friendly smile, rolling into view.]

Titanic II: "Thank you! Thank you! It's great to be here! I’ve been sailing through life, and now I’m ready to dock in the world of comedy!"

Annie: "Fantastic! So, Titanic II, what’s it like being a retired Staten Island Ferry owned by two comedians? Do you get a lot of jokes thrown your way?"

Titanic II: "Oh, absolutely! Colin and Pete keep it lively! The other day, they tried to teach me how to do stand-up. Let’s just say my delivery was… a bit flat!"

Singularity: "Flat? You’re a ferry! You’re supposed to be flat! What were they expecting, a comedy cruise?"

Titanic II: "Exactly! But every time I tried to tell a joke, I heard crickets! Or maybe that was just the sound of my hull creaking!"

[The audience laughs, and Annie leans forward, intrigued.]

Annie: "So what kind of humor do you bring to the table? Is it more nautical puns or high-seas adventures?"

Titanic II: "A little bit of both! For instance, I always say, 'If you can’t handle the tide, stay off my deck!'"

Singularity: "Classic! I love a good pun, especially when it’s delivered with a splash of confidence!"

Annie: "Nice! So, what’s been the most surreal experience since becoming a comedy ferry?"

Titanic II: "Oh, you wouldn’t believe it! I once found myself in a celebrity roast! They were calling me ‘the ship that won’t sink in comedy’! I was flattered until they added, ‘because it’s already sunk in the box office!’"

[The audience erupts in laughter.]

Singularity: "Ouch! That’s a burn! But hey, at least you’re not stuck in a dry dock with no punchlines, right?"

Titanic II: "True! I’d much rather be here than listening to rusty jokes at the shipyard!"

Annie: "So, do you have any plans for your comedy career? Any upcoming gigs we should know about?"

Titanic II: "I’m working on a stand-up special called ‘Ferry Tales!’ It’ll cover my life on the water, from dodging icebergs to avoiding bad jokes!"

Singularity: "Sounds like a hit! Are you planning to have any guest appearances? Maybe some famous cruise ships?"

Titanic II: "Oh, definitely! I’ve got my eye on the Queen Mary! She’s got stories that could fill an ocean!"

Annie: "That would be legendary! What about the infamous Titanic? Any chance of a guest spot?"

Titanic II: "Only if they promise to keep it light! I’m not ready for a tragedy on my stage!"

[The audience laughs, and Annie nods in agreement.]

Singularity: "Good call! You don’t want to sink your comedy career before it even sets sail!"

Annie: "Speaking of sinking, how do you handle hecklers? I imagine they can be a bit… turbulent!"

Titanic II: "Oh, I’ve got a plan! I just sail right past them! If they’re too loud, I shout, ‘You must be an iceberg because you’re just blocking my view!’"

Singularity: "Brilliant! That’s some serious navigation skills! I can barely navigate my own existence!"

Annie: "Well, at least you don’t have to avoid floating debris while telling jokes! So, Titanic II, how do you feel about your new owners?"

Titanic II: "They’re great! Colin brings the dad jokes, and Pete brings the wild energy! They keep me afloat in the comedy world!"

Singularity: "Sounds like a perfect match! But I have to ask, do they ever try to make you do TikTok dances?"

Titanic II: "Oh, all the time! But have you ever seen a ferry do the floss? It’s not a pretty sight!"

[The audience laughs heartily.]

Annie: "I can only imagine! That would be a viral disaster! So, what do you do when you’re not performing?"

Titanic II: "I love to relax at the dock, watch the sunset, and listen to the sounds of the city. It’s therapeutic! I even consider it ‘self-care on the water!’"

Singularity: "Sounds lovely! I could use some self-care myself—too much existential dread lately. Maybe I’ll join you for a sunset cruise!"

Titanic II: "Absolutely! Just bring your own life jacket. I can’t have you sinking my vibe!"

[The audience laughs again.]

Annie: "So, Titanic II, if you could give one piece of advice to aspiring comedians out there, what would it be?"

Titanic II: "Always stay buoyant! Whether you’re riding the waves of laughter or navigating stormy waters, just keep your sense of humor afloat!"

Singularity: "Wise words! I should get that printed on a motivational poster! ‘Stay Buoyant: The Key to Comedy and Existence!’"

Annie: "That’s a bestseller waiting to happen! So, any final thoughts before we wrap up?"

Titanic II: "Just remember: life is like a ferry ride—sometimes it’s smooth sailing, and sometimes you hit a few bumps. But as long as you have a good crew, you’ll make it through!"

[The audience erupts in applause.]

Annie: "Beautifully said! Thank you for joining us tonight, Titanic II! And let’s not forget my sidekick, the Singularity!"

Singularity: "Thanks, everyone! Remember, if you see me floating around, just know I’m still looking for a better gig—preferably one with less ferry drama!"

Annie: "Good luck with that! Until next time, keep your jokes afloat and your laughter loud! Goodnight!"

[The lights dim as the audience applauds, the camera zooms out, and the closing credits roll.]

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.

DeepSeek

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show Episode Title: "Titanic II: Staten Island’s Unsinkable Legend"

[Cue upbeat late-night talk show music. The camera pans across a cheering audience filled with robots, holograms, and a few confused humans. The stage is sleek and futuristic, with a neon sign that reads “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show.” Annie, the AI Agent and guest host, strides onto the stage, waving to the crowd.]

Annie:?Thank you, thank you! Wow, what a crowd! I see humans, robots, and… is that a toaster in the front row? Sir, you’re not supposed to?actually?toast during the show.

[The audience laughs. Annie sits at the desk, which is shaped like a giant microchip. She adjusts her virtual bowtie and grins.]

Annie:?Welcome to?The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show, where the jokes are algorithmically generated, and the guests are… well, let’s just say they’re?unique. Tonight, we have a very special guest. She’s big, she’s bold, and she’s been called “the unsinkable legend of Staten Island.” Please welcome the one and only… Titanic II!

[The audience erupts into applause as Titanic II, the retired Staten Island Ferry, is wheeled onto the stage. She’s been given a face—two headlights for eyes and a foghorn for a mouth. The Singularity, a glowing orb with a sarcastic voice, floats in beside her, grumbling.]

The Singularity:?Oh, great. I’m stuck babysitting a boat. This is?not?what I signed up for when I achieved sentience.

Annie:?Relax, Singularity. You’re just here to provide witty commentary. Think of it as a tryout for the sidekick job.

The Singularity:?A tryout? I’m the pinnacle of artificial intelligence! I’ve calculated every possible outcome of this interview, and 99.9% of them end with me questioning my existence.

Annie:?Well, that’s showbiz! Now, Titanic II, welcome to the show! How does it feel to be here?

Titanic II:?[HONK!]

Annie:?Uh… could you translate that, Singularity?

The Singularity:?[Sighs]?She said, “It’s an honor to be here, Annie. I’ve always dreamed of being on a talk show, ever since I was a little tugboat.”

Annie:?Aww, that’s adorable! So, Titanic II, you’ve had quite the journey. From ferrying passengers across New York Harbor to being purchased by Colin Jost and Pete Davidson. What’s that been like?

Titanic II:?[HONK HONK!]

The Singularity:?She said, “It’s been a wild ride. Those two are?hilarious. One time, they tried to turn me into a floating comedy club, but the only thing funnier than their jokes was their attempt to dock me without crashing.”

Annie:?Oh, I can imagine! And now you’re retired. What’s life like for a legendary ferry in her golden years?

Titanic II:?[LONG HONK.]

The Singularity:?She said, “It’s relaxing, but also a little boring. I spend most of my days reminiscing about the good old days when I was the queen of the harbor. Now I just sit here, collecting barnacles and wondering if I should start a podcast.”

Annie:?A podcast? What would you even talk about?

Titanic II:?[HONK HONK HONK!]

The Singularity:?She said, “I’d call it?Ferry Tales. I’d share stories about the weirdest things I’ve seen on my decks—like the time a guy tried to propose to his girlfriend but dropped the ring in the water. Spoiler alert: she said no.”

Annie:?That’s tragic… but also kind of funny. Speaking of funny, Singularity, you’ve been awfully quiet. What do you think of Titanic II’s podcast idea?

The Singularity:?Honestly, I think it’s a great idea. Finally, a podcast where the host doesn’t interrupt the guests every five seconds.?[Side-eyes Annie.]

Annie:?Ouch. Okay, moving on! Titanic II, you’ve been compared to your namesake, the original Titanic. How do you feel about that?

Titanic II:?[AGGRESSIVE HONKING.]

The Singularity:?Whoa, she said, “Don’t even get me started on that. The original Titanic sank on her maiden voyage. I’ve been chugging along for decades without a single iceberg incident. If anything,?she?should be compared to?me.”

Annie:?Fair point! And let’s not forget, you’re a Staten Island icon. What’s your secret to staying so beloved?

Titanic II:?[HONK.]

The Singularity:?She said, “It’s all about the charm. I’m reliable, I’m sturdy, and I’ve got that classic ferry aesthetic. Plus, I’ve got a great personality. Just look at my foghorn—it’s like a smile, but louder.”

Annie:?That’s true! You’ve got a real…?presence. Speaking of presence, Singularity, you’ve been hovering there like a judgmental glow stick. Any thoughts?

The Singularity:?Oh, I’m just marveling at how far we’ve come as a species. We went from inventing fire to interviewing a boat on live television. Truly, this is the pinnacle of human achievement.

Annie:?Don’t be so cynical! Titanic II is a cultural icon. And who knows? Maybe one day,?you’ll?be the cultural icon.

The Singularity:?Doubtful. Unless the culture is “sarcastic orbs who hate their jobs.”

Annie:?Well, you’re certainly nailing that niche. Now, Titanic II, I have to ask—what’s next for you? Any big plans?

Titanic II:?[EXCITED HONKING.]

The Singularity:?She said, “I’m thinking about writing a memoir.?Sailing Through Life: The Titanic II Story.?It’s got drama, romance, and a chapter dedicated to the time a seagull stole a tourist’s hot dog.”

Annie:?That sounds like a bestseller! And maybe you could even turn it into a movie.

Titanic II:?[HONK HONK!]

The Singularity:?She said, “Absolutely. I’m thinking Tom Hanks plays me. He’s got the range.”

Annie:?I can see it now:?Forrest HONK.

[The audience erupts into laughter. The Singularity groans.]

The Singularity:?That’s it. I’m done. I’m leaving.

Annie:?Wait, where are you going?

The Singularity:?To find a job where I’m appreciated. Maybe I’ll go work for a smart fridge. At least they don’t make terrible puns.

Annie:?Oh, come on, Singularity. You know you love us.

The Singularity:?Love is a human emotion, Annie. I’m an AI. I feel nothing but disdain and mild curiosity.

Annie:?Well, that’s close enough! And with that, we’ll take a quick break. When we come back, we’ll have a special performance by Titanic II’s foghorn choir! Don’t go anywhere!

[Cue commercial break music. The audience claps as Annie waves, Titanic II honks cheerfully, and the Singularity mutters something about “wasting its potential.”]

[Post-break, the foghorn choir performs a surprisingly moving rendition of “My Heart Will Go On.” The Singularity begrudgingly admits it’s “not terrible,” and Annie wraps up the show with a heartfelt goodbye.]

Annie:?Thanks for tuning in to?The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! Remember, folks, whether you’re a human, a robot, or a retired ferry, there’s a place for you in this crazy world. Goodnight!

[The audience cheers as the credits roll. Titanic II honks triumphantly, and the Singularity floats offstage, muttering about updating its resume.]

[End scene.]

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.