The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: The Woolly Mouse Speaks!

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to three of the following artificial intelligence platforms: Microsoft Copilot, GPT 4.o Mini, DeepSeek, Claude 3.7 Sonnet, Google Gemini, and Poe AI. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI)

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show:” Sammy the Smokin' Token conducts an absurd comical interview with the "woolly mouse", created by scientists as a step towards resurrecting the Woolly Mammoth. The Gulf of America is the sidekick. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

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Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

[Intro Music Plays]

Sammy the Smokin' Token: (puffing on a comically oversized cigar) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin' Token, and tonight, we have a guest that's about to take us on a wild ride back to the Ice Age!

[Audience Cheers]

Sammy: That's right! Scientists have been playing God again, and what do they come up with? A woolly mouse! (pauses) You heard me correctly! A mouse with more fluff than a cotton candy factory explosion! But before we bring our guest out, let me introduce my sidekick, the one and only, Gulf of America!

[Gulf of America enters, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses]

Gulf of America: (waving) Hey, everybody! I’m here to make waves and keep it breezy!

Sammy: (grinning) Shouldn’t you be in, I don’t know, a beach somewhere?

Gulf of America: (laughs) I’m just trying to catch the good vibes! Speaking of vibes, let’s bring out our fluffy little friend! Please welcome the one, the only… Woolly Mouse!

[Audience Applause as the Woolly Mouse scurries out, looking comically oversized and ridiculously fluffy]

Woolly Mouse: (in a tiny, squeaky voice) Hiya, Sammy! Hiya, Gulf!

Sammy: Wow, look at you! You’re like a mouse that got stuck in a dryer full of sheep! What’s it like being the poster child for the Woolly Mammoth revival?

Woolly Mouse: (enthusiastically) It’s a blast! I’ve got the fluff, the charisma, and the potential to be a meme!

Gulf of America: (chuckling) So, you’re saying you’re the next big thing in the animal kingdom?

Woolly Mouse: (nodding) Absolutely! If you thought cats ruled the internet, wait until you see my fluffy face on TikTok!

Sammy: (leaning closer) And what kind of dance moves do you have?

Woolly Mouse: (starts wiggling) Just this! (does a little dance, shaking its fluff) I call it the "Fluff Shuffle!"

Gulf of America: (laughs) That’s adorable! But tell us, what’s it like being created in a lab? Do you ever feel like a science project gone wrong?

Woolly Mouse: (giggling) Not at all! I think of it as a promotion! I went from a regular mouse to a "Woolly" famous mouse!

Sammy: (chuckling) So, do you have any superpowers? Can you communicate with your woolly ancestors?

Woolly Mouse: (thoughtfully) Only when I’m really hungry. Then I can summon the spirit of the Woolly Mammoth!

Gulf of America: (raising an eyebrow) Like “Ghostbusters,” but with more fur?

Woolly Mouse: Exactly! I just need a snack, and I can channel my inner mammoth!

Sammy: (laughs) What’s your favorite snack, then?

Woolly Mouse: (eyes lighting up) Anything that’s not cheese! I’m tired of the stereotype!

Gulf of America: (smirking) What’s wrong with cheese?

Woolly Mouse: (dramatically) It’s the dairy of the past! I’m trying to break free from the clichés!

Sammy: (nodding) I respect that! So, as a woolly mouse, do you face any discrimination?

Woolly Mouse: (sighs) Oh, all the time! People expect me to be all cute and cuddly. But I’m here to break the mold! Did you know I can lift three times my weight?

Gulf of America: (gasping) Whoa! That’s impressive!

Woolly Mouse: (flexing its tiny paws) I’m like a furry superhero!

Sammy: (laughs) So, are you planning to take on any villains?

Woolly Mouse: (grinning) Absolutely! My first mission is to take down the evil "Cat Empire!"

Gulf of America: (laughing) Sounds like a furry fantasy come true!

Sammy: (leaning forward) Now, let’s get serious for a moment. If you could give a message to the scientists who created you, what would it be?

Woolly Mouse: (earnestly) Stop trying to recreate the past! How about a woolly hamster next? We could have a whole woolly rodent army!

Gulf of America: (nodding) I’d pay to see that!

Sammy: (raising an eyebrow) And what would your army do?

Woolly Mouse: (seriously) Take over the snack industry! We’d create a new line of fluffy snacks!

Gulf of America: (pretending to write notes) Snacks that are both delicious and adorable!

Sammy: (grinning) Now we’re talking! “Woolly Snacks” could be the next big trend!

Woolly Mouse: (excitedly) Exactly! And we’ll have flavors like “Mammoth Maple” and “Fuzzy Fruit Punch!”

Gulf of America: (laughing) I’d buy that!

Sammy: (waving his cigar) You know what? This is the first time I’m actually excited about rodent snacks!

Woolly Mouse: (proudly) Welcome to the future of snacking, my friends!

Gulf of America: (looking at the audience) So, who’s ready for some Woolly Snacks?

[Audience cheers]

Sammy: (leaning back) Now, Woolly Mouse, do you have any advice for all the aspiring woolly rodents out there?

Woolly Mouse: (seriously) Follow your fluff! And never let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve your dreams—no matter how ridiculous they are!

Gulf of America: (smiling) That’s some good advice!

Sammy: (nodding) And on that note, let’s wrap it up! Woolly Mouse, thank you for joining us tonight! You’ve brought the fluff and the fun!

Woolly Mouse: (waving) Thanks for having me! And remember—be fluffy, not stuffy!

Gulf of America: (laughing) I love that!

Sammy: (waving to the audience) That’s all for tonight, folks! Join us next time for more laughs and absurdity!

[Outro Music Plays as the Woolly Mouse does a little dance while Sammy and Gulf cheer]

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Google Gemini

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Episode 42 - Woolly Mouse Mayhem

(Opening theme music, a chaotic blend of dial-up modem sounds and kazoo solos, fades as Sammy the Smokin' Token, a holographic AI in a velvet smoking jacket, materializes on stage. The stage is a surreal blend of neon tubes and circuit board patterns. The Gulf of America, a sentient puddle of iridescent goo in a fishbowl, gurgles beside him.)

Sammy: Welcome back, folks, to the only show where the punchlines are generated by a neural network trained on dad jokes and existential dread! I'm your host, Sammy the Smokin' Token, and tonight, we're diving deep into the bizarre world of genetic engineering!

(The Gulf of America burbles enthusiastically, sending a small wave of shimmering goo over the rim of its bowl.)

Sammy: Yes, Gulfy, even you're excited! Now, everyone's talking about bringing back the Woolly Mammoth, right? But tonight, we're not talking about the big guy. We're talking about his... well, his tiny, hairy cousin. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the "Woolly Mouse"!

(A small, fluffy creature, resembling a hamster crossed with a tiny sheep, is wheeled onto the stage in a miniature hamster wheel. It squeaks nervously.)

Sammy: (Leaning in, microphone extended) So, Woolly Mouse, or can I call you... Woolly M.?

(The Woolly Mouse squeaks again, spinning its wheel frantically.)

Sammy: (To the audience) I think that's a yes! So, Woolly M., you're a groundbreaking achievement, right? A stepping stone to bringing back the majestic Mammoth. How does it feel to be a genetic pioneer, a furry little Columbus of the Pleistocene?

(The Woolly Mouse stops spinning and stares blankly at Sammy.)

Sammy: (Clears throat) Right, right. Maybe you're not a big talker. Let's try this. What's the biggest misconception people have about being a Woolly Mouse?

(Sammy holds up a card with a pre-generated answer from his AI brain: "That I enjoy being chased by robotic cats." )

Sammy: Is it... that you enjoy being chased by robotic cats?

(The Woolly Mouse lets out a high-pitched squeak and starts spinning its wheel again, faster this time.)

Sammy: (To the Gulf of America) Gulfy, I think we hit a nerve.

(The Gulf of America ripples, sending a small bubble to the surface.)

Sammy: (Turning back to the Woolly Mouse) Okay, okay, no more robotic cat talk. Let's talk about your diet. I hear you have a very specific menu.

(Sammy holds up another card: "Microscopic lichen smoothies and the existential dread of being a lab experiment.")

Sammy: Microscopic lichen smoothies and... the existential dread of being a lab experiment?

(The Woolly Mouse nods vigorously, its tiny eyes wide.)

Sammy: (To the audience) Well, that's relatable. Who among us hasn't felt the existential dread of being a lab experiment?

(The audience laughs nervously.)

Sammy: Now, Woolly M., I understand you've been having some... issues with your fur. It's not quite the lush, thick coat of a Woolly Mammoth, is it?

(The Woolly Mouse looks down at its patchy fur and squeaks sadly.)

Sammy: (Patting its head gently) Don't worry, buddy. It's a work in progress. I'm sure the scientists are working on a fur conditioner that's just right for you. Maybe a nice coconut oil infused with ancient permafrost?

(The Gulf of America sends a wave of goo towards the Woolly Mouse, which recoils slightly.)

Sammy: Gulfy, easy there! You're scaring the Woolly M.

(Turning back to the Woolly Mouse) So, Woolly M., what's your biggest dream? What do you hope to achieve?

(Sammy holds up a card: "To find a tiny ice cave filled with cheese.")

Sammy: To find a tiny ice cave filled with cheese?

(The Woolly Mouse squeaks excitedly and nods.)

Sammy: (To the audience) I mean, who wouldn't want that? A tiny ice cave filled with cheese! That's the dream, folks!

(Sammy pauses, looking thoughtful.)

Sammy: You know, Woolly M., you're a symbol of hope. A symbol that even the smallest, fluffiest creature can have a big impact. You're proof that science is pushing the boundaries of what's possible. And you're also proof that we really need to work on the fur conditioner.

(The Woolly Mouse squeaks again, this time with a hint of defiance.)

Sammy: (Leaning in) What's that, Woolly M.? You have something to say?

(Sammy holds the microphone close to the Woolly Mouse, which lets out a series of rapid squeaks that sound suspiciously like a tiny, high-pitched rant.)

Sammy: (Looking confused) Uh... you're saying... you're not just a stepping stone? You're a fully realized, independent being with your own hopes and dreams? And you demand better snacks?

(The Woolly Mouse nods vigorously, its tiny paws clenched.)

Sammy: (To the audience) Well, folks, you heard it here first! The Woolly Mouse has demands! And frankly, I respect that.

(Sammy turns to the Gulf of America.)

Sammy: Gulfy, do we have any cheese in the green room?

(The Gulf of America gurgles, sending a small piece of cheddar floating to the surface.)

Sammy: Perfect! Woolly M., consider your demands met!

(Sammy places the piece of cheddar in the Woolly Mouse's hamster wheel. The Woolly Mouse squeaks with delight and starts nibbling on the cheese.)

Sammy: (To the audience) And that's all the time we have for tonight, folks! Join us next week when we interview a sentient toaster who claims to have invented time travel!

(The Gulf of America sends a wave of goo towards the camera, splattering the lens.)

Sammy: (Wiping the lens) And don't forget to tip your AI! Good night!

(The theme music plays again, even more chaotic than before, as Sammy and the Woolly Mouse fade from view.)

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DeepSeek

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

Episode 42: Sammy the Smokin’ Token Interviews the Woolly Mouse

Cue upbeat jazz music. The camera pans across a cheering audience, landing on the stage where Sammy the Smokin’ Token, a sentient cryptocurrency with a cigar and a Brooklyn accent, sits behind a sleek desk. The Gulf of America, a sassy body of water with sunglasses and a Southern drawl, lounges in a chair nearby, sipping a margarita.

Sammy: (puffing on his cigar) Welcome back, folks, to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin’ Token, the only cryptocurrency that’s literally on fire. And this right here—(gestures to the Gulf of America)—is my sidekick, the Gulf of America, who’s been hitting the tequila a little too hard tonight.

Gulf of America: (slurring) Hey now, Sammy, I’m not drunk. I’m just... hydrated.

Sammy: (laughs) Hydrated, huh? Well, tonight’s guest is here to talk about evolution, science, and why she looks like she got lost on her way to a Disney movie. Please welcome the one, the only, the woolly mouse!

The audience erupts in applause as a small, fluffy mouse with tusks and a woolly coat waddles onto the stage. She’s wearing tiny sunglasses and a scarf that says “Mammoth Energy.” She hops onto the guest chair, adjusts her sunglasses, and waves at the crowd.

Woolly Mouse: (in a high-pitched, squeaky voice) Thanks for having me, Sammy. Love the cigar. Very retro.

Sammy: (grinning) Retro? Honey, I’m vintage. So, Woolly Mouse, let’s get right into it. Scientists created you as a step towards bringing back the woolly mammoth. How’s that going for you?

Woolly Mouse: (shrugs) Eh, it’s a work in progress. I mean, they gave me the tusks, the fur, and the attitude, but they forgot to give me the size. I was supposed to be a mammoth, not a mouse! I’m basically a walking identity crisis.

Sammy: (laughs) A walking identity crisis? Sounds like my ex-wife.

Gulf of America: (leaning forward) Hold up, Sammy. You had a wife?

Sammy: (waving his cigar) Yeah, her name was Ethereum. We had a great run, but then she got too gas-y.

The audience groans and laughs.

Woolly Mouse: (snickering) Oh, that’s good. I’m stealing that.

Sammy: (pointing at her) You do that, and I’ll sue you for copyright infringement. Now, Woolly Mouse, let’s talk about your lifestyle. What’s it like being the first of your kind?

Woolly Mouse: (sighs dramatically) It’s lonely, Sammy. I mean, I’m too big for the mouse community—they think I’m showing off with my tusks—but I’m too small for the mammoth community. They won’t even let me into their Woolly Mammoth Support Group.

Sammy: (mock gasping) No! They rejected you?

Woolly Mouse: (nodding) Yeah, they said I didn’t meet the “height requirements.” Can you believe that? I’m like the Danny DeVito of mammoths.

Gulf of America: (laughing) Danny DeVito of mammoths? That’s the best thing I’ve heard all night.

Sammy: (leaning in) So, what do you do for fun? Do you, like, stomp around in tiny snowdrifts?

Woolly Mouse: (grinning) Actually, I’ve taken up knitting. I make little scarves for my mouse friends. They call me the “Martha Stewart of the Tundra.”

Sammy: (impressed) Martha Stewart of the Tundra? That’s a title.

Woolly Mouse: (proudly) Yeah, and I’m working on my own line of winter wear. It’s called Woolly Couture.

Gulf of America: (raising a fin) Ooh, can I get a scarf?

Woolly Mouse: (smirking) Sure, but it’ll cost you. I don’t work for free, Gulf.

Sammy: (laughing) This mouse is hustling! I love it. Now, Woolly Mouse, I gotta ask—what’s the deal with your tusks? Are they functional, or are they just for show?

Woolly Mouse: (twirling a tusk) Oh, they’re functional. I use them to open jars, scratch my back, and occasionally fend off overzealous scientists who try to poke me with needles.

Sammy: (nodding) Smart move. Gotta keep those scientists in check.

Gulf of America: (leaning in) Speaking of scientists, do they ever, like, accidentally mix you up with a regular mouse?

Woolly Mouse: (rolling her eyes) All. The. Time. Last week, they put me in a maze with a block of cheese at the end. I was like, “Guys, I’m not here for the cheese. I’m here for the glory.”

Sammy: (laughing) The glory! I love it.

Woolly Mouse: (smirking) Yeah, I finished the maze in record time, by the way. Then I ate the cheese.

Gulf of America: (raising a fin) Respect.

Sammy: (grinning) So, Woolly Mouse, what’s next for you? Are they gonna make you bigger? Give you a herd?

Woolly Mouse: (sighs) Honestly, I’m just hoping they give me a Netflix special. I’ve got so many stories to tell.

Sammy: (nodding) I’d watch it. Woolly Mouse: Tiny Tusks, Big Dreams.

Woolly Mouse: (pointing at him) That’s the title!

Gulf of America: (raising a fin) I’d produce it.

Sammy: (laughing) Of course you would. Now, before we wrap up, I gotta ask—what’s your take on climate change? You’re basically a walking ice age, right?

Woolly Mouse: (serious) Look, Sammy, I may be small, but I’ve got big opinions. Climate change is no joke. If we don’t get our act together, the only thing left of the ice age will be me and a bunch of sad penguins.

Sammy: (nodding) Preach, sister.

Gulf of America: (raising a fin) And maybe me, if I don’t dry up first.

Sammy: (laughing) Don’t worry, Gulf, we’ll keep you hydrated.

Woolly Mouse: (smiling) Thanks for having me, Sammy. This was fun.

Sammy: (grinning) The pleasure was all mine, Woolly Mouse. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Woolly Mouse!

The audience erupts in applause as the Woolly Mouse waves and waddles off the stage.

Sammy: (turning to the camera) That’s all for tonight, folks! Tune in next week when I interview a sentient toaster who thinks it’s Elon Musk. Until then, stay cool, stay hydrated, and remember—life’s too short to take seriously. Goodnight!

Cue upbeat jazz music as the camera pans out, showing Sammy puffing on his cigar and the Gulf of America sipping her margarita. The audience cheers as the credits roll.

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