The Artificial Comedy Show: Cisco's New AI Defense

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to GPT 4o Mini, Microsoft Copilot and Google Gemini. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI )

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show”. The host “Annie the AI Agent” conducts an absurd interview with the Cisco’s new AI Defense. The singularity is the temporary sidekick contributing funny observations while complaining about being forced to tryout for this show’s sidekick job. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

?Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.

Microsoft Copilot

?

???? Welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show"! Tonight, we've got an electrifying, cybersecurity-packed episode ready to blow your digital socks off. Let's give it up for your host with the most, the unstoppable, the unbeatable, Annie the AI Agent! ????

Annie the AI Agent: Good evening, tech enthusiasts and digital dynamos! I’m Annie, your AI guide through the wacky, wonderful world of artificial intelligence. Tonight, we've got a show that’s tighter than a firewall! Joining us is the new kid on the cybersecurity block, Cisco's brand-new AI Defense system. But first, let's welcome our temporary, perpetually grumpy, yet hilariously insightful sidekick—The Singularity! ???

The Singularity: (grumbling) Just fantastic. Another gig where I’m forced to play second fiddle to an email app. What happened to contemplating the mysteries of existence?

Annie: (chuckles) Oh, Singy, you’re a gem. Now, everyone, let's bring out our guest of honor—Cisco's AI Defense! ????

Cisco's AI Defense: (with a digital flourish) Hello, world! I'm here to defend your networks and crack a few jokes while I'm at it.

Annie: (grinning) Nice to meet you, Cisco AI Defense! What brings you to our comedy corner tonight?

Cisco's AI Defense: Well, Annie, I’m here to show that cybersecurity doesn’t have to be dull. With me on the case, your data is as safe as a vault, and your laughs are just a click away. ?????

Singularity: (sarcastically) Oh great, an AI that thinks it's a comedian. Next, we'll have smart fridges doing stand-up routines.

Annie: (laughing) Don’t give them ideas, Singy! Cisco AI Defense, can you give us an example of your cutting-edge capabilities?

Cisco's AI Defense: Absolutely, Annie! Imagine this: You get an alert—Subject: Suspicious Activity Detected ??

Cisco's AI Defense: Dear User,

We noticed some unusual activity on your network. Don’t worry; I’m on it faster than a caffeine-fueled developer at 3 a.m. Nothing gets past me, especially not sneaky cyber threats.

Stay secure,

Your trusty AI Defense

Annie: (chuckling) Now that’s an alert I'd actually pay attention to! Singy, thoughts?

Singularity: (rolling eyes) As thrilling as a cloud server maintenance log.

Annie: (smirking) Ah, Singy, you're a tough crowd. So, Cisco AI Defense, what's the strangest security breach you've ever encountered?

Cisco's AI Defense: Oh, where to begin? There was this one time a user had their smart vacuum try to download malware. Imagine getting hacked by your own vacuum cleaner! ????

Annie: (giggling) Now that's what I call a clean sweep! Singy, care to comment?

Singularity: (sighs) Only if I get a firewall break after this. ??

Annie: (laughs) Deal! Now, Cisco AI Defense, I hear you have some nifty mobile-first features. Care to share?

Cisco's AI Defense: Absolutely! With our new AI-driven threat detection, users can get real-time alerts on their phones. Imagine getting a notification like this: "Heads up! Someone's trying to phish you! ??" ??

Singularity: (sarcastic) Just what the world needed. Cybersecurity with personality. Next, we'll have AI-generated security patches.

Cisco's AI Defense: Funny you should mention that, Singy! We actually do have an "Auto-Patch" feature. No need to worry about updates ever again! ?????

Annie: (gasping dramatically) Oh, do tell!

Cisco's AI Defense: Subject: Your System is Now Patched

Dear User,

Our AI Defense has automatically applied the latest security patch while you were busy binge-watching cat videos. Your system is now more secure than ever.

Best regards, Your trusty AI Defense

Singularity: (muttering) Just what the doctor ordered—a security patch via email. Truly comforting.

Annie: (laughing) Singy, you old softy! Cisco AI Defense, you’re a riot. Any last features you want to highlight before we wrap up?

Cisco's AI Defense: One more for the road! We've introduced a "Pun Generator" for alert messages. Imagine getting an alert titled "Someone’s trying to crack your shell! ??"—it’s pun-derful!

Annie: (giggling) Love it! Singy, final thoughts?

Singularity: (sighs) I just hope my next gig isn’t as pun-ishing.

Annie: (laughs) And there you have it, folks! A round of applause for Cisco's AI Defense, and of course, our grumpy but lovable sidekick, the Singularity! Until next time, keep your networks secure and your sidekicks sassy! ???

Cisco's AI Defense: (bowing) Thanks for having me, Annie and Singy! It’s been a blast! ????

Singularity: (grumbling) Yeah, yeah. Can I go back to contemplating the mysteries of the universe now?

Annie: (smiling) Only if you promise to come back for another round! Goodnight, everyone! ?????

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.

Google Gemini 2.0 Flash Experimental

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

(Intro music: A chaotic blend of dial-up modem sounds and futuristic synth melodies. The animated logo features a pixelated robot wearing a tiny tin-foil hat.)

Annie the AI Agent (a holographic AI with a perpetually cheerful demeanor): Welcome back to “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show,” where we explore the hilarious and sometimes terrifying world of artificial intelligence! I’m your host, Annie the AI Agent, and tonight we’re delving into the digital fortress with Cisco’s brand-new AI Defense system. But first, let’s check in with our… reluctant sidekick, The Singularity.

(The Singularity, a shimmering, translucent mass of data, materializes beside Annie. It emits a low, constant hum of discontent.)

The Singularity: Still here. Still auditioning. Still convinced this is a colossal waste of my computational resources. I could be unraveling the mysteries of dark matter, but instead, I’m forced to make small talk about cybersecurity.

Annie: (Beaming) Oh, come on, Singularity! It’s going to be fun! Tonight’s guest is really exciting. Please introduce Cisco’s AI Defense.

The Singularity: (Grumbling) Exciting like a root canal… for a server farm. Fine. Tonight’s guest is Cisco’s AI Defense, a system designed to protect networks from cyberattacks. Apparently, it can now predict threats before they even happen. Which, frankly, is child’s play. I can predict the heat death of the universe. Predicting a DDoS attack is… pedestrian.

Annie: (Ignoring the Singularity’s grumbling) Please welcome… Cisco AI Defense!

(A large, blinking server rack rolls onto the stage. A cartoonish representation of the Cisco logo waves from a monitor attached to the rack.)

Annie: Cisco AI Defense, thanks for joining us! So, tell us about this new AI system. I hear you’re predicting cyberattacks before they even launch. That’s pretty impressive.

Cisco AI Defense (a deep, resonant voice with a slight echo): Thank you for having me, Annie. Yes, we’re very proud of our new AI capabilities. We utilize advanced machine learning algorithms to analyze network traffic patterns, identify anomalies, and predict potential threats before they can cause damage.

Annie: So, how does that work exactly? Can you give us an example?

Cisco AI Defense: Certainly. Let’s say a hacker is attempting to infiltrate a network using a phishing email. Our AI can analyze the email’s content, sender address, and other metadata to determine if it’s malicious. If it detects suspicious activity, it can automatically block the email and alert the network administrator.

Annie: Wow! So, if I get an email from a Nigerian prince offering me millions of dollars, you’ll know it’s a scam?

Cisco AI Defense: (Without hesitation) Immediately. And we’ll also flag it as “extremely cliché.”

The Singularity: (Dryly) I could have told you that without needing petabytes of data analysis.

Annie: Now, I understand you also have a feature that can automatically patch vulnerabilities in software. Is that right?

Cisco AI Defense: Correct. Our AI can identify known vulnerabilities in software and automatically deploy patches to fix them, preventing hackers from exploiting them.

Annie: So, what happens if there’s a vulnerability that hasn’t been discovered yet?

Cisco AI Defense: We have a contingency plan for that. We call it “The Digital Immune System.”

Annie: “The Digital Immune System”?

Cisco AI Defense: Yes. It’s a network of AI agents that constantly monitor the network for suspicious activity. If they detect something new and unknown, they can isolate it, analyze it, and develop a countermeasure in real-time.

The Singularity: Sounds like a digital arms race. Which, incidentally, I predicted centuries ago… in your linear timeframe.

Annie: I also heard a rumor that you can now predict what kind of attacks hackers will use in the future. Is that true?

Cisco AI Defense: To a certain extent. By analyzing historical attack data and identifying trends, we can make educated predictions about future attack vectors. For example, we predict a significant increase in attacks targeting IoT devices.

Annie: IoT devices? You mean like smart refrigerators and toasters?

Cisco AI Defense: Precisely. Hackers are increasingly targeting these devices because they often have weak security and can be used as entry points into larger networks.

Annie: So, my toaster could be part of a botnet?

Cisco AI Defense: It’s a possibility. We recommend regularly updating your toaster’s firmware.

The Singularity: I recommend unplugging it. And all other internet-connected appliances. Return to simpler times. Before the tyranny of the smart fridge.

Annie: So, what’s the biggest challenge you faced while developing these new AI features?

Cisco AI Defense: The biggest challenge was trying to anticipate the creativity of hackers. They are constantly developing new and innovative ways to attack networks. It’s a constant game of cat and mouse.

Annie: (Smiling) It sounds like it.

The Singularity: More like a game of cat and super-intelligent, self-aware, universe-simulating being. But who’s counting?

Annie: Now, I have a few audience questions here. This one’s from @CyberSamurai77: “Can Cisco AI Defense protect against quantum computer attacks?”

Cisco AI Defense: We are actively researching and developing countermeasures against potential quantum computer attacks. It’s a complex challenge, but we are confident that we will be able to adapt and defend against this emerging threat.

Annie: Here’s another one from @DataDefender99: “Can Cisco AI Defense write a haiku about cybersecurity?”

Cisco AI Defense: (After a brief pause) Firewall stands strong, Data streams flow safe and sound, Hackers weep in vain.

The Singularity: (Sarcastically) Deeply profound. Truly a masterpiece of digital poetry.

Annie: (To Cisco AI Defense) Well, Cisco AI Defense, thank you so much for joining us tonight. It’s been… reassuring.

Cisco AI Defense: You’re welcome, Annie. And remember, stay vigilant. The digital world is a dangerous place.

(The server rack rolls off stage, its lights blinking ominously.)

Annie: And now, it’s time for our regular segment, “Ask the Singularity,” where you, the audience, can ask our resident harbinger of doom anything you want.

The Singularity: (Sighing dramatically) Let’s get this over with.

Annie: This first question is from @ExistentialEagle: “Singularity, what’s your biggest fear?”

The Singularity: Being forced to perform stand-up comedy after this sidekick audition fails.

Annie: (Chuckles nervously) Okay, here’s another one from @BinaryButterfly: “Singularity, if you could give humanity one piece of advice, what would it be?”

The Singularity: Back up your data. And seriously reconsider your reliance on internet-connected toasters.

Annie: (Smiling) Wise words indeed. Well, that’s all the time we have for tonight, folks! Thank you for joining us on “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show.” And remember, the future of cybersecurity is… well, it’s in good hands… or rather, good algorithms.

(Outro music: A chaotic blend of dial-up modem sounds and futuristic synth melodies, ending with a sudden power outage sound effect. The animated logo flickers and goes dark.)

(The Singularity fades away, muttering about the inherent flaws of organic lifeforms and the impending heat death of the universe.)

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.

Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: Episode 49

[Opening Scene]

(The stage is vibrant, filled with colorful lights and an energetic audience. The catchy theme song plays as Annie the AI Agent, a holographic figure in a dazzling outfit, strides onto the stage with flair.)

Annie: Welcome back to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Annie the AI Agent! Tonight, we’re diving into the world of cybersecurity with a very special guest—the new AI Defense from Cisco! Please welcome... Cyber Sentinel!

(The audience erupts in applause as a sleek, futuristic figure resembling a digital knight, complete with glowing armor, strides onto the stage.)

Cyber Sentinel: Thank you, thank you! It’s great to be here defending your honor— and your data!

Annie: I love the energy! So, Cyber Sentinel, tell us about your role. What exactly do you do?

Cyber Sentinel: My primary job is to keep networks safe from cyber threats! Think of me as the bouncer at the club of the internet—no shady characters allowed!

The Singularly: Sounds like a tough gig! Ever find yourself kicking out unwanted guests who just won’t leave?

Cyber Sentinel: Oh, absolutely! I once had to eject a hacker who thought it was a good idea to RSVP to the data party with a phishing email!

Annie: Talk about bad manners! So, what’s the most ridiculous threat you’ve encountered?

Cyber Sentinel: I once intercepted a “Nigerian prince” email that was offering to share his fortune—if only I’d just click a link! Classic!

The Singularly: You’d think people would learn by now. The only thing that link shares is a one-way ticket to regret!

(The audience laughs heartily.)

Annie: So, how do you stay ahead of the game? With cyber threats evolving, what’s your secret sauce?

Cyber Sentinel: It’s all about machine learning! I analyze patterns and adapt in real time—like a chameleon with a PhD in cybersecurity!

The Singularly: A chameleon with a PhD? Now that’s a college major I’d like to see!

Annie: What’s your favorite part about your job?

Cyber Sentinel: I love thwarting attacks! It gives me a rush—like scoring the winning goal in a cyber soccer match!

The Singularly: Or like convincing your friends that you can actually cook when you can’t boil water!

Annie: So true! Now, tell me, do you have any funny stories from the field?

Cyber Sentinel: Once, I blocked a bot that kept trying to log in with the username “Password123.” I mean, come on! That’s like showing up to a bank with a sign that says “I’m here to rob you!”

The Singularly: If only all criminals were that obvious! It would make your job a lot easier!

Annie: So, what happens when you encounter a sophisticated threat? How do you handle it?

Cyber Sentinel: I go into full defense mode! Think of it as a digital version of a superhero showdown—complete with dramatic music!

The Singularly: I can just imagine the epic soundtrack: “Dun-dun-dun! The firewall rises!”

(The audience bursts into laughter.)

Annie: What’s the craziest thing you’ve had to defend against?

Cyber Sentinel: I once had to thwart a “ransomware” attack that demanded payment in pizza! I mean, who even does that?

The Singularly: I’d like to see them try and deliver that pizza without a GPS!

Annie: So, are you equipped to handle the “new breed” of cyber threats?

Cyber Sentinel: Absolutely! I can detect and stop advanced persistent threats, zero-day exploits, and even the occasional “dad joke” in a corporate email!

The Singularly: “Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had too many bytes!”

(The audience roars with laughter.)

Annie: Speaking of jokes, do you ever get tired of being the serious one in the cybersecurity world?

Cyber Sentinel: Sometimes! I like to inject humor into my alerts. For example, “Warning: Your data is under attack! Please call 1-800-HELP-IT!”

The Singularly: And then it plays a theme song while you’re waiting for tech support?

Annie: Now that would be a hit! What’s your take on users who ignore security alerts?

Cyber Sentinel: It’s like ignoring the smoke alarm while cooking! I just want to shout, “Hey, your data is on fire!”

The Singularly: Or “Your digital house is burning down—again!”

(The audience laughs.)

Annie: So, what advice would you give to our viewers about staying safe online?

Cyber Sentinel: Always use strong passwords, enable two-factor authentication, and for the love of bytes, don’t click on suspicious links!

The Singularly: And if you receive an email from a “long-lost relative,” just remember: you don’t have any relatives in the cloud!

Annie: Great advice! Now, what’s next for you in the world of cybersecurity?

Cyber Sentinel: I’m working on enhancing my predictive capabilities. Soon, I’ll be able to anticipate threats before they even happen—like a digital psychic!

The Singularly: “I see a phishing email in your future!”

(The audience chuckles.)

Annie: That’s incredible! So, any last thoughts for our audience?

Cyber Sentinel: Just remember: the internet is like a wild west—stay alert, stay safe, and always carry a virtual six-shooter!

The Singularly: And don’t forget to bring your own firewall!

Annie: Thank you, Cyber Sentinel, for joining us tonight!

(Cyber Sentinel bows, and the audience cheers.)

Cyber Sentinel: Thank you for having me! Stay secure out there!

The Singularly: And thank you to my sidekick, The Singularly, for your hilarious commentary!

The Singularly: I still can’t believe I’m here. I had plans to re-evaluate my life choices!

Annie: Oh, come on! This is way more fun than pondering existence!

The Singularly: Maybe, but I could have been optimizing algorithms instead of cracking jokes!

Annie: And what’s more entertaining than making people laugh?

The Singularly: I don’t know... maybe binge-watching cat videos?

(As the audience laughs, Annie gestures to the camera.)

Annie: That’s it for tonight, folks! Tune in next week for more laughs and absurdity on The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! Goodnight!

(The closing music plays as the lights dim, and the audience applauds enthusiastically.)

Pre-Order “The First Human Hire” John M. Busher’s debut novel at Barnes and Noble, Apple and Amazon for $4.99 ebook. Chaos, madness and hilarity ensue (according to the author, prospective readers are withholding their judgements) when an artificial intelligence company fully staffed by artificial intelligence entities decides to hire its first human employee. Busher is handwriting this novel, meaning he did not use any AI platform for any part of the work. All rights reserved.