The Article you Should not Finish Reading

Yes, that is exactly what I would like you to do right now. Skip reading this article right in the middle, or right now, without feeling any guilt.

How many times have you been asked about your passions? 

I for one - recently, many. 

Things you enjoy now and should keep enjoying forever – at least this is the general understanding of ‘passion’. I guess our journey with “lifelong goals” started when we were kids. Before you even figure out how many letters are there in your alphabet, they start asking “what do you want to be when you grow up?”. I’ve never really liked that question. If you ask me now, I still don’t like to think about “where I want to be” “with whom I want to be” or “what I want to be doing” in the next 5 years or even 2 months for that matter. You could say I’m a very strong present believer. After all, ‘today’ is all you’ve got.

Why is it that we are expected to always commit unconditionally as soon as we are excited about a new experience? Let’s say, could we simply start taking Italian lessons and leave the course after the first level without being judged? Perhaps Italian wasn’t really our forte. Perhaps we got the exact portion of taste we desired. Perhaps we simply got bored. What is next? Cooking classes? 

Here are my arguments. 

You started to have less and less new experiences with the sole reason that you are afraid of pressured expectations from those around you who will want to see that you complete what you’ve started with the best result possible. 

You stopped reading books not because you don’t like reading, but you are afraid of feeling trapped having to finish what you’ve started to read. 

You stopped having intellectual discussions not because you don’t follow what is happening in the world around you but because you’re afraid of being asked a question you can’t answer and be criticised for having an idea on a topic you haven’t had a PhD on.  

The problem may seem to be due to ‘others’ I mention above, but the solution is definitely within ‘you’. You are the strongest critique there is to yourself. The question is, how can you start allowing yourself the freedom to be a little unpredictable? 

I guess the confusion begins along the thin line that separates commitment and imprisonment. How thin can this be? I believe commitment is the ultimate “present” feeling where one transfers their whole energy and focus on one particular thing and enjoy it: Going for a nice hike on a Saturday morning following a rough week at work, could be an example perhaps. 

Imprisonment, on the other hand, is when one forces themselves to continue doing/believing in something for the sole purpose of repeating/protecting it instead of ‘living the present’ of it. In this case, it would be going for a hike every single Saturday even if it means rejecting an invitation to brunch with friends which could, too, help you get over the rough week at work. 

The examples would vary, but here are a few things people (often) keep imprisoning themselves in even if they no longer enjoy it as they did in the beginning: Books, political opinions, outfit styles, and career paths. 

Funnily enough, these are also the very same things people will never start involving in for the sole fear of being judged if they leave the game in the middle. New books, new political opinions, new outfit styles, new career paths. 

You see, this pressured “expectation” not only stops people from trying new experiences, but it also traps those who started a journey and locks them up until they lose the will to discover themselves ever again…

So, how can you make sure to prevent this from ever happening?

With baby steps. 

Instead of asking our friend if they finished the book they’ve started months ago, we can suggest another one. 

Instead of assuming that our friend, who started taking boxing classes - will become a heavy champ in the future - we can ask them if they’d be interested in joining for tango with us the following week.

You should feel the freedom of purchasing that extremely fluffy jacket you’ve seen the other day in the store but thought it’d drag too much attention as you’ve never worn anything like it before. Purchase it for it may be the stranger in your closet you seldom wear but once you wear it, the present becomes flavourful.

Combine that pair of trousers with the top you’d never combined.

Instead of saying “but you said the opposite before!” in a discussion, start enjoying and perhaps admiring those who are brave enough to change their perspectives and beliefs.

Start admitting that your favourite artist failed miserably this time.

Go on your Spotify, click on a genre you never thought you’d ever click, and listen.

Start watching that Netflix series that kept popping up but you never liked it’s title/outlook. Who knows maybe it will become one of your favourites. Once it is proven you don’t like it, quit and choose another one.

However, don’t confuse this will of “experiencing new things all the time” with being lost or wanting to find the thing you love the most, this is purely “experiencing for the sake of experiencing” and nothing more.

Feel the freedom of laying down on your couch, and do absolutely nothing until your mind is completed at ease.

As per your career, don’t hesitate to criticise your own. Get other’s opinions and discuss what could be missing in your career. Talk about the reality you are going through, and hear others’ opinions and see possible new options on your path and take them without any fear, without any expectations regardless of the variables of time and place. It’s never early, it is never late, it’s just on time.

If you’d come this far in the article, you sort of ignored its headline. I quite hope you did it so not because you forced yourself to finish it, but because you were committed to the joy you had along reading it. 

  Today is all you’ve got. Start enjoying it more, now.