An article about fear
One of my favourite quotes from a client is: "Before coaching, life was like MDF. Now it is like oak."
Ever stopped yourself from doing what you really wanted?
You are not alone! Fear stops many people from doing many things.
Fear is a killer. A killer of:
· Productivity
· Happiness
· Dreams
· Creativity
· Proactivity
· People realising their potential
· Companies from realising their potential through their people
· Growth
· Profit
Why write about fear?
When I chose the theme of fear I felt afraid. Ironic but true! What will people think? What will you think?
So why should I write about this often-taboo subject?
Fear is not something that you often hear British people talking about, after all, everything is fine, isn’t it, stiff upper lip?!! And what a nation we are for knocking people down when they are up. Is it surprising that fear is like an infectious disease, especially when the chips are down?!
Fear is normal and it is natural – the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism is a fundamental part of the animal kingdom of which we are part and has helped us survive to successfully evolve as a species.
Fear both serves us and limits us. In some situations it can propel us forward and in others keep us safe. And yet often it keeps us stuck & stagnant and stops us from growing and developing. Fear is self-limiting and yet its positive intention is to protect us. A double-edged sword!
So maybe it is a topic worth writing and spending time reading about!
How to spot when fear is present
The expression ‘paralysed by fear’ is very apt because fear often shows up as immobility or unproductive behaviours, for example:
· Playing safe
· Blame/pointing the finger
· Accepting mediocrity/the status quo
· Inertia & lethargy
· Passivity
· Believing there’s no point
· Telling lies or half truths rather than being honest
· Procrastination
What are the most common fears?
Can you relate to any of the following common fears? Fear of:
· Rejection
· Failure
· Success
· Saying the wrong thing
· Making mistakes/or getting or doing it wrong
· Upsetting others
· Public speaking and looking or sounding stupid
· Making a decision you might regret
· Being blamed
· Being judged or criticised
· Not being ‘good enough’
· Change
· Being ‘found out’ – The ‘imposter’ syndrome
· Feeling inauthentic/hypocritical
· Sounding stupid or ill-informed
These are widespread. They may not be talked about openly, but they are present. The key is not to pretend that fear doesn’t exist, but to acknowledge that it is normal and natural and to learn how to manage it. This is where coaching can help.
How does coaching help address fears?
Fear in our experience shows up as limiting beliefs. Three common examples are:
· I’m not intelligent/intelligent enough
· I’m not at all/very creative
· I’m not good enough
Fears create obstacles which keep people stuck and stop them from achieving what they want. All my clients and myself have experienced the feeling of being stuck and uncertain at some point.
Often a period of feeling stuck, uncertain or confused comes before a period of growth and movement, in a similar nature to the season of Winter preceding Spring.
We help our clients identify what the obstacles are to them achieving their goals. This includes the origin or source of the obstacle and then finding creative or practical ways to overcome them. We help break down change into easy steps. We believe that anything is possible if you set your mind to it.
Some examples of how Energise help people deal with fear are:
· Supporting candidates feeling rusty to have a successful interview
· Working with professionals to leave their old non-ideal career behind and reinvent themselves in a new career
· Helping businesses to feel comfortable about networking and market themselves to attract more business
· Working with newly promoted senior managers sharing tips and tools to help them manage others for the first time
· Enabling new recruits to hit the ground running when they start a new job
· Supporting people who have been made redundant to deal with uncertainty & change
· Helping MD’s & directors under pressure to deliver results
· Sharing tools to help people deal with difficult individuals & manage conflict
Do you know anyone who could benefit from support in areas such as these?
What can help people manage their fears?
Here are 10 tips for dealing with fear:
1. Reflect on this question: How can I prioritise my time based on what’s important and motivating to me vs. my boss’s agenda?
2. Check in with yourself every day. Ask yourself what’s really going on? Instead of asking yourself what do I think?, ask yourself how do I feel?
3. Write down a list of obstacles in your path and list how you could overcome them
4. Sign up with a coach to identify your fears and ways of overcoming them
5. Give your fears names to reduce their hold over you, e.g. The Sloth
6. Read “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers. It’s a classic and very useful
7. Write down your no 1 fear and coach yourself to address it
8. Pinpoint the origin of your fears
9. Write a fear diary and track which ones are real and actually happen
10. Analyse the positive intention of your fear e.g. self protection
Confronting fear is one of the most empowering things that you can do in life – it will help you to grow and evolve and go to the next level.
Client testimonials relevant to tackling fear….
“Coaching gives focus and clarity when all the ideas and solutions are there but emotions/fear/personality are preventing you from seeing the wood for the trees.” Marketing professional
“Coaching helped me to address a fear of public speaking that has held me back in life and work for 25 years. I wanted coaching to change career direction and the process gave me what I really needed – addressing the issue that had led me to the wrong career in the first place.” IT Professional
“On several occasions I came very close to handing in my notice without any kind of plan as to what to do next. However, fear about giving up a job, career and University education was preventing me from clearly considering my options and reasons. Within a week of my coaching session, I had decided to resign and several weeks later I made my plan to go to abroad.” Sales Manager, IT Support
“I felt that my life was without direction and that I wasn’t putting 100% into my career or my personal life. As a result of coaching I feel a great deal more positive and that, I believe, has had an immediate impact on the way I perform at work and the people I work with.” New Business Director, Direct Marketing Agency
How can we help you address fear and liberate more of your talent?