Article 13: Questions for Self-Coaching using Ontological Terms and Concepts

This is the thirteenth in a series of articles based on my 'Redesigning Conversations A Workbook: Self-Coaching Questions for Parents, Leaders, Teachers, and Coaches'. Figures, exercises, question sets, tables, and case studies are numbered sequentially.

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Good onya if you have traveled with me in these articles. Thank you. I would love to hear any insights you may have.

Now it is time for me to bring this all together and offer questions for self-coaching, using the Ontological Coaching terms and concepts I discussed in the previous articles.

I hope you find these useful.

Question Set 9: Using Ontological terms and concepts

Breakdown:

• What is the breakdown you are dealing with?

Concerns:

• What key concerns are not being addressed (what is important for you that is not being taken care of)?

Scripts:

• Listen for scripts that may be getting in the way.

Facts:

• What facts are you asserting?
• Are these true facts, or are they opinions?

Opinions:

• What opinions of the situation/others are you forming?
• What self-assessments are occurring?
• Have you tested these?

Enemies of learning:

• Are there any enemies of learning relevant to your situation?

Allies of learning:

• Are there any allies of learning that could assist you in your situation?

Offers, requests, promises:

• What requests have you made/not made and to whom?
• What requests have you made that have not been performed to your satisfaction? If so, what elements may have been missing from these requests?
• What promises have not been fulfilled?by you and/or others?
• What offers are you not responding to?
• What offers are you not making?
• What offers are you making that are not being listened to?

Types of conversations:

• What types of conversations have you not been having, for example, a conversation for clarity, or a conversation for relationship? I will discuss these in the next few articles.

Moods and emotions; mood manoeuvres:

• What moods and emotions do you experience in relation to the issue?
• How helpful are these moods and emotions for assisting you to make progress in dealing with the issue?
• What will be more helpful moods and emotions?
• What mood manoeuvres may be useful for you to use?

Body:

• What do you identify about your posture, body tension, voice, and breathing that could be limiting you?
• What do you recognise is important to shift about your posture, body tension, voice, and breathing?
• How will you make this shift? Whose and what support will you seek?

Declarations:

• Are there any declarations you wish to make, including seeking support from another?

Exercise 37: Using ontological terms and concepts

Are you able to make a declaration that for the next week, you will use Question Set 9 to deal with any significant issue that arises?

If this or any article peaks your interest in Ontological Coaching, I highly recommend the 18-month Certified Ontological Coaching and Leadership Program facilitated by Alan Sieler and his team (including Karen White (MCC), Jeremy Stunt, Julia Bonadei, and Erma Steyn).

As a teaser, you could start with the 3-day workshop.

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Speak soon in Article 14: Naming our Conversations

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Previous articles:

Article 1: Your Way of Being and Conversational Interplay

Article 2: Taking care of our and others’ concerns

Article 3: Your Listening and Speaking from your Listening; and Linguistic Acts

Article 4: Linguistic Acts: Facts or opinions, and Testing your Opinions

Article 5: Linguistic Acts: Declarations, Promises, and Requests

Article 6: “Breakdowns” in our lives

Article 7: Your Moods and Emotions: your greatest teachers

Article 8: Your body’s role in your conversations

Article 9: The role of your scripts in your conversations

Article 10 Your Enemies and Allies of Learning

Article 11: Your Conversational Interplay (a recap) and Conversation Enhancers, including for Meetings

Article 12: ?Our Conversations are the Foundation of our Family and Work Cultures