Art of the (virtual) coffee chat

It was a lot easier to expand your network prior to 2020. Industry conferences, networking mixers, and business happy hours were regular occurrences. Back then, you simply grabbed a friend or colleague and just went. The recent pivot has caused a lot of us to change our approach; I've been engaging more on LinkedIn, Tweeting more on Twitter, and posting more on some of the anonymous professional social networks. But the one tool I've embraced the most is the virtual coffee chat. It's the art of finding someone you'd like to learn from and reaching out in a humble and intentional way.

Recently, I've had a lot of folks reach out to me with questions on initiating and driving coffee chats. I wanted to write this article to provide guidance to those new to the networking and coffee chat world. I remember how intimidating it was when I first started. Reaching out to someone out of the blue seemed unnatural... and even transactional.

Having the opportunity to do ~300 coffee chats this year has taught me a few things about the process. Here's my approach:

The Process

I like to break the process up into 4 steps: Planning, Outreach, Coffee Chat, and Follow-up.

Planning is where you clarify your intentions, do your due diligence, and prepare your conversation topics. Outreach involves identifying and reaching out to the folks you want to meet with. Follow-up is the step you'll take post-conversation.

1. Planning

Clarify your intentions & goals

It’s critical to understand your intentions and clarify your goals for wanting to have a coffee chat with someone. What are you looking for?

Some examples:

• Build a professional relationship (e.g. to meet a mentor)
• Get your foot in the door at a company
• Meet a potential client
• Learn about a specific business area

Your intentions will guide your approach and goals for the coffee chat. One goal that is universal across all intentions is to build rapport. This should always be top of mind in your approach.

Other goals can be to signal alignment and fit – for example, if you’re looking to get your foot in the door at a company. If you'd like to meet a potential client, you may want to make your value proposition clear and showcase benefits. And if you’re looking to learn about a specific business area, you’ll want to guide the conversation with specific, targeted questions. Remember to do this with grace and humility.

Do your homework

Do your research on the person you’re speaking with. Some ideas on areas to focus on:

• Current role and company
• Career journey and pivots

Personally, I’m most interested in learning about career pivots – why someone made a major change in their career journey and how.

2. Outreach

Networking outreach is where it can get pretty tactical. I like to think of it as Channels & Tactics.

We’re all familiar with LinkedIn as the professional social network but there are other channels to meet industry professionals. Some examples: Twitter, Facebook Groups, Fishbowl, BLIND, Lunchclub, and Upstream... the list goes on. Within each of these channels, there are specific tactics and methods you can use to reach out to someone. For example, you can directly message an individual, you can engage with their content to get a conversation going, you can share and retweet, etc.

Be resourceful and creative in your outreach. Some of my most valued industry connections are from the most obscure channels.

3. Coffee Chat

I like to start off the conversation with a brief introduction to share my background, goals, and intention. Your intentions and goals from the planning phase should guide the content of your chat and the questions you ask. Ask good questions and tailor it to the individual.

Examples of good topics to bring up:

• Career journey
• Focus and priorities today
• Goals and milestones
• Challenges
• Asking for advice
• "How can I help?"

Reciprocating by providing value is important. I’ve included “How can I help?” as the last item, but it’s likely that by the time you’ve covered all the topics above, you’ll have a good idea of some of the challenges they're facing. Keep these in mind and find ways to provide value, give back or pay it forward.

4. Follow-up

Coffee chats aren’t always smooth. Sometimes we’re tired, stressed or just having an off day. Don't feel discouraged if the conversation didn't go the way you wanted it to. If your chat has gone well and you’d like to keep the conversation going, make sure to clarify next steps and follow up.

If you have any thoughts, questions or ideas, please comment below or send me a message. My calendar is always open to all – feel free to reach out if you'd like to connect. I'm also in the process of building virtual business communities – mastermind-esque networking groups for the purpose of fostering 1:1 connections and peer collaboration. Give me a shout if you have any interest in participating or helping me build it out.

Happy holidays and stay safe!