The Art of Taking Feedback

Getting started on any creative project is both scary and exciting.? The energy and effort poured into taking anything from an idea into a concrete form – whether a piece of writing, music or art, has its ups and downs, but generally gives me a feeling of pride and satisfaction when it’s done.? That joy is soon followed by another challenging process:? sharing what I’ve done and asking for feedback.

Understanding how to ask for and incorporate feedback is harder than it looks.?

However, it’s essential in increasing the quality and impact of anything you do.? When receiving a review or opinion on something I’ve poured time and hard work into, I like to ask myself a few key questions to decide how I move forward.?

Question 1: As it currently stands, do I agree with it? Answering this question is a good first indicator of whether you should consider the feedback more in depth. Even when it’s harsh or hard to incorporate, if I actually agreed with the critique I try to learn from it.?

Sometimes, people are pointing out something I’ve struggled with or am not totally happy with myself. The first time I tried recording some lyrics I wrote, I found it difficult to manage all the equipment and focus on singing (keep in mind that I have no formal musical training and was new to learning music production as well).? I only shared the sample with a few trusted friends and one of them told me, “I loved the lyrics but you sound out of breath at the end.”? I played it back and realized that I was actually out of breath!? While it was hard to hear, I improved my recording skills and asked for help so that I could focus on one task at a time.? I could tell that my friend had actually taken the time to understand what I was doing before giving blind advice. This feedback was more helpful than the other generic “nice” and “good job” comments I received because it was concrete and actionable.??

Question 2: Is a comment trying to make me better or not? This question can be difficult to discern, but it’s critical in deciding whether to accept or ignore feedback. The tone and delivery of a critique is often the first indicator of whether someone is genuinely trying to improve my work.?

However, as projects I’m working on have gotten more complex, I have had to reach out to people who are experts in their field.? I usually don’t know them well personally, and in these cases, delivery style is not always a reliable way to decide how to proceed with feedback.? When reaching out to established people rather than friends, I find it helpful to look at whether someone is sharing information that can make an idea bigger and better than what I originally imagined.? Are they showing me a shortcut, or pointing me to an interesting book or reference where I can learn more?? Have they offered to keep in touch?? Am I feeling excited to make the changes and share Version 2???

As I shared some of my recordings with my music teacher, he offered a critique but immediately walked me over to the equipment and showed me a few methods to get a better result. I’ve often heard that in one form or another:? “This could really benefit from x,” or “let me introduce you to a friend who works on this issue.”? In judging which feedback to take seriously, I look at the following:? Was the suggestion accompanied by support????

However, knowing what to ignore is equally as important. When I was in middle school, my English Honors teacher gave us an assignment to create an imaginary utopia and draw a map for it. I was super excited and over that three weeks, the imaginary world I made up emphasized innovation and sustainability. The trees and skyscrapers were intertwined, as nature and technology became interdependent. I was terribly disappointed when I received a grade lower than I expected, and saw a comment that read, “This map has too much green”. I stayed back during office hours to discuss my project and understand the grading, as I thought my drawings reflected my explanations and storyline. It took a bit of back and forth until she finally said “I didn't like it” right to my face.?

It took a few more instances like this to help me learn that this type of feedback is better ignored. I didn't bother doing any corrections to remediate the grade because I had put in the work and was happy with it. My English teacher was not commenting on the quality of my work, but whether she agreed with it.? The feedback that helped me grow from my music teacher was aimed at helping me learn. Reflecting on both has made me realize that there is a difference between the people who are invested and indifferent to what you are trying to convey. Ignoring the indifference has been key to helping me learn more about subjects I deeply care about.?

Question 3: What have I learned from taking/not taking similar feedback in the past? It is vital to learn from feedback... That's the whole point of it! It doesn't matter what the feedback is telling me to change. People who want to help will either give specifics if they understand what you are doing, or their support if they don’t (having both is the best combination).?

I’ve come to appreciate the importance of surrounding myself with people who help me improve if it’s hard initially. I used to get annoyed with critiques on minor details of projects I’m working on, but I try to consider whether these are areas where I need to clarify or refine my ideas.? After seeking and incorporating feedback over time, I have become more aware of my strengths and areas where I need to pay extra attention.? I’ve realized that it is only in my best interest to take advice that progresses my skills, but that ultimately,? my work is my own. From there, what you take and leave can only help you be the best you can be.? Perhaps the best compliment of all is when people I’ve sought advice from reach out and ask:? “What are you working on now?”???