The Art of Swearing On The Job

I need to stop swearing.

It has nothing to do with the studies about cursing in the workplace. If you ask me, those are a load of … bull manure.

It has nothing to do with my Catholic school education. I know people of faith who could f-bomb the road to heaven and still be handed a latte at the pearly gates.

It has nothing to do with my clients. As a matter of fact, most of them can give me a run for my money.

I need to stop swearing because we’ve got a five month old. Not that she’s anywhere near talking. But I figured it’s going to take some time to ease myself back.

Truth be told, I bought her a onesie before she was even born. It’s pink and adorable. It says, “watch your mouth, @$$hole – I’m a baby.” Only the word is spelled out.

For some reason, my wife won’t let her wear it out of the house.

While reflecting on what my grandmother would have referred to as my “fresh mouth”, I decided it was appropriate to do a little research.

I found a study by Careerbuilder about swearing. It said employers may be inclined to think less of an employee who swears at work – and said that 81% believe the use of curse words brings the employee’s professionalism into question. 71% said they are concerned with the lack of control, 68 percent said it shows a lack of maturity and 54% said it make the employee appear less intelligent.

Well that’s just a crock of…chili.

My search for cussing justification continued.

I found a great book called Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing, written by Melissa Mohr and published by Oxford University Press.

I like this woman. Let me highlight some of her points.

• Swearing has been around since the Roman times.
• The average person’s daily language consists of about .7% of swear words each day. That number sounds small until you realize that we use first-person plural pronouns like “we and our” at about the same rate.
• Kids often learn at least one swear before they learn the alphabet.
• Our bodies have a physiological response to swears. It can make our palms sweat. But it can also alleviate pain. A study found that if you put your hand in a bucket of cold water, people can keep it there longer if they use the big s word instead of saying “shoot”. Go figure.
• Studies have found that it can help people bond and create a mutual feeling of solidarity.

Perhaps the problem isn’t in swearing. Perhaps it’s in not swearing effectively. Because shouldn’t there be an art to it?

In the words of Mark Twain, “under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

What can I say? He was one smart son of a…gun.

What do you think? Should employees get a bar of soap in the mouth for dropping some foul language…or does it actually make the work environment a better place?

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Kyle Reyes is the President and Creative Director of The Silent Partner Marketing, New England's #1 Marketing Agency. We're a boutique marketing firm focused on helping businesses grow in an age of exploding technology. You can find him on Google+, Facebook and Twitter.