The art of starting - AGAIN

The hardest part is starting.

The second hardest part is starting …….. AGAIN.

Most New Year resolutions don't live to see February. Something happens to stop the person for a moment, and they never get going again.?

It's almost inevitable that something gets in the way of our attempted health improvements. In our 'busy' world, there are multiple things that can derail us from following through with a plan.

Getting stopped is not necessarily a problem in itself. If you're trying to improve your health, sooner or later something will pop up that causes you not to follow through. It just happens.

The problem arises when that short pause in your routine becomes a hard stop. When instead of missing one action and starting again tomorrow, the lack of action becomes permanent.?

Why do we stop? Here are some common reasons.

• Frustration
• Shame
• Guilt
• Apathy
• “I'm not good enough”
• The "what the hell" effect
• Too busy - the sense of busyness overwhelms our action

What do all of these have in common??

They are an uncomfortable emotion which triggers a behavioural response. In this instance stopping.

Whatever knocked us off course isn't the problem. It's the uncomfortable emotion it has triggered, and the behavioural response that follows.

How do we get better at starting again?

Powering over the top of an uncomfortable emotion is a legitimate strategy to get going again. It's what many of us use. We straight out ignore the emotion, or numb it and then try to keep rolling through. At times this works. But we're not setting ourselves up for long term success.

Powering over an uncomfortable emotion tends to be hard work. It's quite tiring to ignore those feelings. And it doesn't improve our skills for dealing with that feeling next time. I was listening to Dom Harvey chat with Kane Brisco about feelings. They likened ignoring feelings to continually throwing old gym gear into the boot of the car. You can get away with it, but if you do it for long enough there are some repercussions.?

It's unlikely that those uncomfortable emotions will go away next time you get knocked off track. What is a better way for dealing with the feeling so you can get back on track?

Firstly GET that you are having an emotional response. We are usually so wrapped up in what has happened and our narrative around it that we ignore the emotion - while unconsciously letting it drive our behaviour. Recognize that there is an emotion there.

Secondly, IDENTIFY the emotion. Pay attention to it and label what you are feeling. I find the emotions wheel a helpful tool at this step. This causes you to slow down and check out what is happening. It broadens your emotional awareness and capacity. And as Dr Dan Siegal said "if you can name it, you can tame it".

Thirdly, VALIDATE the emotion you are experiencing. You are a human being. You have emotions. This is normal.?

Your emotional response is built from your life experiences, your beliefs, your values, your context, all of which are unique to you. Just because the emotion you experience isn't the same as someone else, does not make it wrong.

Finally, EXPLORE the emotion and the behaviour it triggers. Why did you start to feel this way? Are there some other possible interpretations of what happened? Might any of them be more helpful? Is your response really the best course of action?

The first three steps can happen quickly and are often enough to get you back on track. The fourth step can be more time and energy consuming (it can last entire lives), but has the biggest impact on your trajectory.?

Once you process the uncomfortable emotion, you no longer follow its behavioural response. Instead of stopping, you get back to it next time.

In May I'm kicking off a "Better Health for Busy Professionals" coaching cohort. Together in this program we’ll work on you making serious and sustainable health improvements without overwhelming your schedule any more. For those of us who want to perform at our best in any arena, working on our health is an imperative. It sets the foundation for how we do life.

If you reckon this sounds like you then just reply with "coaching" and I can pop you over the details so you can decide if it'll be helpful for you.