THE ART OF SMALL TALK

Something happened repeatedly this week that triggered this post.

This week, I had the privilege of meeting a few colleagues for the first time in virtual meetings. You know that awkward 5 seconds of silence when you join a call, and the faces across the screen don’t look familiar? Yet, the moment someone says hello or asks a friendly question, you feel at ease. It got me thinking about the value and impact of small talk on employee engagement, especially in a hybrid work context.

The concept of employee engagement continues to gain momentum in various forms over the years as researchers explore the benefits for organizations. Engaged employees are perceived to be more productive and profitable. Similarly, an increase in employee engagement impacts job satisfaction, career continuity, and overall business performance.

Recent research by Jhan et al. (2022) indicated that small talk can ease the flow of task-oriented dialogue, reduce shyness in unfamiliar environments, and impact employee experiences in meaningful ways. Despite the many benefits of small talk, researchers like Methot et al. (2021) also concluded that when not controlled, small talk can be distracting and impede productivity at work.

When meeting people for the first time, the most important aspect of a conversation is how you begin. In our fast-paced, modern world, it's easy to forget the importance of small talk.

Whether you’re networking at a business event or one of the first two on a virtual call, taking the time to chat can help to build relationships and create lasting connections.

However, for many of us, small talk can feel awkward and forced. It can also be challenging, and many people find themselves at a loss for words. Remember, a small talk is simply a form of communication.

When managed appropriately, small talk is a valuable tool for networking in a hybrid work environment and can help to establish trust, reduce anxiety, and create a sense of connection.

If you're not sure how to get started, here are a few tips:

- Make eye contact and smile: This will help to put the other person at ease and make them feel like you're interested in talking to them.

- Find common ground: Look for shared interests or experiences, some things you may have in common with the other person. This will help to keep the conversation flowing.

- Ask open-ended questions: This will encourage the other person to continue the conversation and give you more material to work with. Easy Yes/No questions can lead to dead ends. Open-ended questions encourage the other person to share their thoughts and feelings.

- Be a good listener: We all know the feeling of talking to someone who seems more interested in hearing themselves speak than listening to what we have to say. Don't be that person! Be invested and really listen to what the other person is saying.

- If meeting for the first time, avoid contentious topics like politics or religion. You don't want to risk offending the other person or making them feel uncomfortable before getting a chance to know them better. Stick to safe topics like the weather, current events, or hobbies. If you listen well, you’ll never run out of topics to discuss, and may gain a friend for life.

- Read the room: Use your five senses when on a virtual call. You can start small talk based on observation of the mood of the other attendees. What expression or emotion can you see? Who’s excited about the meeting and who looks like they could use a dose of laughter? Using small talk to break the awkward silence at the start of a meeting can help set the tone for the meeting, but don’t overdo it.

- Remember you carry value: whenever you show up to a meeting, always remember you are valuable. You don’t have to be the subject matter expert to feel you can contribute. You can kickstart small talk, lean in, make eye contact, listen well, ask questions, reinforce another person’s point of view, and confidently share your thoughts too.

Leaders: Before jumping right into the agenda of the day, business leaders must make a conscious effort to encourage small talk. You might learn something new about other team members or pick up on “unspoken disengagement signals” before things get out of hand. ?

So, tell me, do you love or hate small talk?

How have you mastered the art of small talk?

I'd love to hear your comments, contributions, or questions.

Be Unstoppable,

Mofoluwaso (Fofo) Ilevbare

Further reading:

Methot et al. (2021) https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2018.1474?

Jhan et al. (2022) https://doi.org/10.1109/tvcg.2022.3203107