The Art of saying 'No'

I have always felt that there is a fine balance when it comes to saying 'no' - whether it's to your manager or a peer or to a client. Why is it important to find this balance of when and how to say 'no'?

• It helps you set the right expectations with your stakeholders, manage your bandwidth/ workload and deliver consistently on what you promise. You can make people happy by saying 'yes' the first couple of times but if you are not able to deliver on that, then it's better to say 'no' at the right time. Overcommitting and under-delivering never works in the long run!
• It's always easier to say 'yes' and be liked but it is not about being liked because it's not a competition. Lot of times we hesitate to say 'no' because of fear of being disliked or being thought of as rude or non-conforming. But people will respect you and see you as more reliable over a period of time if you are upfront and honest!
• It becomes even more important to find this balance when you are agreeing to things on behalf of other people, example the team that works with you. Not being able to say 'no' at the right time impacts more people in this situation and can lead to lot of resentful and unhappy team members.

Don't take me wrong because it's not easy to say 'no' - it takes effort and comes with practice, especially in the workplace when you are juggling multiple responsibilities, deadlines and stakeholders. So how do you tackle this?

• Be logical and rational about why you are saying 'No'- never make it personal or emotional. This helps the other person understand and possibly appreciate the why of it, than the answer itself.
• Give enough heads up if you have to say 'No' so that you leave room for the other person to explore alternate options. No one likes being left high and dry in a difficult situation!
• Don't make a habit of it because if you say 'No' to everything all the time, then people might start to question your intent itself.

If you want the time, energy, focus and drive to do the important things day on day, everyday, then it's a must to master this art. It's not easy to say 'No' but no one ever said it would be!