The Art of Saying No: Say No More Often to Accept More of Your Passions

Ever found yourself drowning in a sea of projects and activities, wishing you had the superpower to keep up to all promised tasks? Yep, me too. In our fast-paced world, it's so easy to fall into the trap of saying yes to everything, especially early in our careers. But here's the big deal: saying no can be the key to unlocking a more fulfilling career and a passionate life. Saying no is not turning down opportunities, but it’s to aid you in being content with what you have and also to motivate you towards the things you love. In life a lot of times we take things for granted; so, keep working on the ability to say no to things you do not enjoy doing, Take the mistakes you make as a steppingstone, and have a method of journaling through life in all facets to keep yourself on track to your visions and goals.

Over commitment is a trap in your early career days and can be very detrimental. There is always pressure to perform in this fast paced and competitive world but focus on slowing down the pace to fit your needs and to work at the pace that you are working on to achieve progress. When I started my career, I was the quintessential "yes" person. Any project, any task, any opportunity I was your go-to person. Why? Because I thought saying yes to everything was the ticket to climbing the corporate ladder. Little did I know, I was setting myself up for burnout.

I remember my first big project. It was exciting, challenging, and let’s be honest completely overwhelming. But I was determined to prove myself. So, I said yes to every meeting, every additional task, every last-minute request. The result? A defeated and stressed-out version of myself that felt there was no progress in life and having the need to start afresh every time. And the worst part of all? My work quality suffered, and I was too exhausted to enjoy the small victories. The problem with the excitement at the start of projects you cannot take on could be the financial benefits, the fame or the learning and growth. But in all of these if you are unable to be successful in those projects it cripples you more than your confidence can take on. No matter how big you are on taking on challenges, you need to have the ability to take things step by step and not in the pace of what others set for you.

By saying yes to more than you can handle affects a lot more than just your professional self and career. It affects the way you deal with people around you, it hurts you as much as it hurts those around you as you don’t have time for important people in your life; family and friends, which is a big part of everyone. More than all that, you are taking away the opportunity from yourself to invest in yourself to learn and grow. The more you are detached from putting time in yourself and working on your skills and traits, you are taking yourself away from building yourself up from long-term success. Remember this when you are working for leeches that need all your time and efforts, you will end up in a lost place where you aren’t following your passions and finding solutions to problems you love solving. Don’t fall into the rat race of giving everything you have to a business or people who barely care about you, instead focus on your interests.

You do not know what you don’t know!

The turning point in my life came when a colleague gave me a piece of advice that changed everything: "Saying no to more things means you can say yes to what really matters." It was a lightbulb moment. By constantly saying yes, I was spreading myself too thin and missing out on opportunities that truly aligned with my passions and strengths. So, I focused and started evaluating benefits of saying yes and saying no in situations, before taking on something new. It wasn't easy at first saying no because old habits die hard. But with each no, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I had more time and energy to dedicate to projects I was genuinely passionate about. My work improved, my stress levels decreased, and I found myself rediscovering the joy in my career. I found myself motivated in things that mattered as well as putting efforts in building ideas for the things I wanted to do in the future, which led me to build my business and so much more.

Often times when we say yes to a lot of things we focus more on the shiny part of the offer but forget to do the checks and balances of what is required for the job. Ask yourself are you equipped to do the job at hand to full capacity. ?What is the preparation work needed for the projects and in case you needed extra time available do you have that buffer time available? For any of you side hustle or projects to be successful there is always a tradeoff and an opportunity cost to be able to achieve success in it. Evaluate both the opportunity costs and the physical/emotional cost to you on a personal level. The more you care about your health and more you care about what you are willing to do for your longevity you will understand that money is not the only motivation. Money is a byproduct of the work you put in and it can come and go. Focus on being as fit as possible to performs tasks at hand, just as a football player train and equips himself to be able to score against a particular opponent.

Amongst the importance of saying no, one of the most powerful tools in this journey has been journaling. At first, I was skeptical. I mean, who has time to sit down and write about their day? But I gave it a shot, and it turned out to be a game-changer. Journaling helped me reflect on my choices, understand my motivations, and gain clarity on what truly mattered to me. It was like having a conversation with myself, a space where I could be honest, vulnerable, and introspective. Firstly, journaling helps in creating self-awareness: writing down your thoughts helps you become more aware of your patterns. Are you saying yes out of obligation, fear, or excitement? Understanding the why behind your decisions is crucial. You are then able to set goal setting more effectively: it’s easier to set and track goals when you have a written record. Journaling helps you stay focused and aligned with your passions. Finally, it reduces your stress levels: writing down and putting down what you learnt and documenting your journey gives you sense of calm and allows you to be in control of a lot of your decisions. It’s also a way to unload your worries and clear your mind, making space for creativity and inspiration.

Focus is very important in every facet of our life. So being able to focus on the ability to perform in any given task becomes vital for success and growth. In conclusion, learning to say no is a powerful skill that can transform your career and personal life. It's not about shutting doors - it's about opening the right ones. By decluttering your commitments, you make space for opportunities that resonate with your passions and strengths. And remember, journaling can be your secret weapon in this journey, providing clarity and focus as you navigate the art of saying no. So next time you're tempted to say yes to something that doesn't ignite your passion, take a moment. Reflect on your journal if you need to and don't be afraid to say no.

Your future self will thank you.

?