The art of re-inventing yourself

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” - Marcel Proust?

?The one thing you can depend on is?change.

This means you can’t stand still; rest on your laurels, or keep doing what you have always done. The world is changing—so if you are not changing with it, then you are getting left behind.

But how do you re-create yourself?

By using your uniqueness in new and powerful ways – to develop a new you.

Here are five big ideas to reflect upon:

#1 The paradox of Authenticity

What is Authenticity, really? We would all agree that it is a quality of being original, genuine, the opposite of fake. It’s about being honest, straight.?Keeping our word. The most common advice today to young people is “be who you are”.

But if we define authenticity too narrow, then this limits our growth. How so??

If authenticity is being true to yourself, the question is which self? On the one hand, we have many selves, depending on the different roles that we play in life – at work, with friends, family.

For example, as leaders we need to adapt our styles to fit the needs of different situations, teams or cultures.

More than that, just being true to who we are now, robs us the possibility to reach our true potential. It can be a lazy and complacent, even narcissistic attitude.

The better advice is “become the best you can be”. Always evolve, through an “experiment and adapt” mindset. Prioritise learning and humility over certainty, be open, fluid rather than rigid.

And that means move beyond your comfort zone, to create new skills, try out new approaches, build new perspectives, new identities. For example, you may shift from being an expert who knows the answers already, to a learner where you will say – “I am going to ask a lot of questions, explore, discover and learn from trying something new”.

This will not be easy. It will trigger a strong counter impulse to protect your ego. “It’s not me…” Resist the temptation. Don’t find excuses, or give up. Trying out new things feels uncomfortable. But its where greatness happens.

So, ask yourself: Can I be authentic to my potential best-self?

Learn to be authentic and adaptive at the same time.

?#2 You (and everyone else) is a work-in-progress

But how do we really do this?

We used to believe that once we reach adulthood, “development” would somehow stop, But this is far from true. Our capacity to evolve is tremendous. We are not static, our brains are plastic, and we can continue to transform into adulthood.

How do we do that? Through new “disruptive” experiences, challenging our perspectives and habits, and exposure with people who are different than us.

And through self-reflection and awareness to minimize the “auto-pilot”, the myriads of habits and heuristics that provide a sense of predictability and safety. ?

The point here is that to grow we need to disrupt ourselves.

#3 Live your Hero’s Journey

Which brings me to our third idea: Ultimately, you are called to be the author of the story of your life. But what kind of story would this be?

Well, it turns out that happy stories don’t provide much value. It is stories of struggle and dilemmas, courage, and heroism, where we suffer and grow – that create a better life.

In Ancient Greece the hero was a warrior of values. Being a hero wasn’t about perfection but protection and love for something bigger and meaningful.

It was about serving.

We humans are built for adventure. Pain and adversity are part of who we are.

As?Dostoyevsky would say,?too much of comfort destroys meaning.?We need this polarity. We need something to push against. This is the exact opposite of what our culture of comfort promotes today.

Resistance – mental or physical - is your friend to live a life of passion, fulfilment and self-actualization. It’s the way to train your mind and body to fight procrastination, fear or ego-inflation.

In Steven Pressfield's words, the impulse to express the best version of you is “more alive inside you than your own blood.” Maslow called this our “soul’s oxygen”.

The point is that this wisdom doesn’t just come to us, we need to discover it ourselves after a journey in the wilderness which no one can take for us.?

What is your hero’s journey?

?#4 Use a Compass to navigate life’s complexity

Yet, to write your story you need a compass to help you navigate towards your direction. ?

Today, for example, more than 80% of managers struggle to navigate complexity. Many lack the human skills, or the broader perspective and strategic thinking abilities. Our educational systems are creating competent technocrats, but unprepared leaders!

But another reason is that they haven’t charted a clear path, connecting their unique talents with what the world needs today. They view change as a reactionary adaptation, not as a meaningful choice.

In his fantastic book Man’s Search for Meaning Victor Frankl, says that “between stimuli and our response there is a space. In this space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.

So how do we create this developmental space? How do we evolve from ego-centered chameleons or task focused experts to enlightened leaders who can transform organisations, energize people, and create new meaning, optimism, and a sense of renewal?

For personal growth to happen– what Nietzsche would call in Thus spoke Zarathustra, the three stages of “human metamorphosis”- we need to access our most creative potential inside ourselves. Interestingly he called the last stage “The Child”, referring to children’s unlimited, creative potentialities, playfulness and freedom to discover the meaning of things.

Step 1 is to clarify what you are committed to. Know what you really want to do, who you want to become so you can activate your journey. Imagine “you” in some future point, who will you be? How will you differ from who you are now?

This transformation should come from the inside out giving you positive control while allowing you to actively shape the?future.

And that’s your compass to discover yourself and live a richer life.

#5 Build a new identity, starting today.

Personal reinvention is a daily, deliberate practice. This is not the easiest road. It is not about just about knowing or interesting ideas. It’s about bringing these inspirations to action.

It’s about forming new identities.

Why this is crucial? Because the strongest force available to us, is our need to be consistent with our identity – as strong leaders, smart innovators, entrepreneurs, wise teachers, loving parents, etc.

As James Clear says in?Atomic Habits the word identity literally means?“repeated beingness”., Pretty much what Aristotle said 2,500 years ago, that “excellence is not an act, but a habit”.?

Your identity is what you do repeatedly.

1. Practice getting a perspective from others – ask for feedback and accept it as a gift
2. Practice pursuing opportunities to get outside comfort and into growth zone. Disrupt habitual ways of thinking.
3. Practice intellectual humility: Instead of just proving how you are right, stop and ask yourself: How could I?be wrong? Actively seek evidence to challenge your beliefs.
4. Practice great listening, honouring your partners and step in their shoes
5. Reference back to your old self.?How have you changed. Ask: from which frame of reference did I operate in the past?
6. Deliberately expose yourself to people with different worldviews, opinions, backgrounds.?
7. Form networks, and communities and take every opportunity to mentor and receive mentoring.
8. Understand that you are, like everyone else, somehow biased, flawed, imperfect, in your own special way... Your lens of the world has layers of distortion. Ask: Am I aware of mine?
9. Practice self-reflection and journaling to make sense of these new perspectives and facilitate personal transformation
10. Tonight, when you to go to bed, ask yourself, ‘If I don’t wake up tomorrow, would I be proud of how I lived today?

Most of the times, that means you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Always be open and curious in life’s experiences.

The art and beauty of personal re-invention is that there is no single template. Only you can discover the path.?Who do you want to BECOME? Fast-forward 3, 5, even 10 years from now. Who are you at your best??At work, with your relationships, family, passions, your impact in the world??Then live today to reach this vision.

Be your future self now.?

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Note:

This article explores the fourth and final element of the Future-Fit Mindsets Model, “Reinvent Yourself” that Crina Penteleychuk and I developed. The whole idea behind this work is to understand the mindsets and skills that set the foundation for individual and team success in a fast-changing world.?