The Art of Persuasion, are you using this?

Introduction

When you know how to use friendly persuasion you will be able to get what you want and need from others. Have you ever noticed that some people seem to have a natural ability to get what they want all of the time? This is not a natural ability – they have just become good at friendly persuasion and you will do the same if you follow the advice in this report.

A lot of people try friendly persuasion without knowing what they are doing. Sometimes this can work but other times it just makes them look stupid. We do not want you to look stupid so read and apply what you learn in this report so that you can use friendly persuasion correctly and look good doing it!

What is the Art of Persuasion?

There are a number of different definitions of the word “persuasion” but they all amount to the same thing. When you persuade someone, you create a change in their behavior so that they will think and feel in a way that you want them to and they will take the action that you desire.

Some people think that influence and persuasion are the same but they are not. With persuasion you will use your speech to get the result that you want. Influence does not require any form of verbal communication.

Key Factors in Persuasion

To effectively persuade another person you need to do a number of things. First you need to know precisely what action you want them to take or how you want them to feel. You need to know the person as well – know who they are and what they like and dislike. Find out what their opinions are about different issues.

What are their needs? Put yourself in their shoes and see the world through their perspective. A good persuader is a good listener so listen intently to what they have to say and prove that you are listening to them by showing empathy. You need to give them the confidence that you “know where they are coming from”.

When you have proved yourself to be a good listener a lot more people will trust you. By listening to what others have to say and being friendly and empathetic to others your trust rating will go through the roof.

Friendly persuasion really works well and if you want to get others to listen to what you have to say (which of course you do) then listening to them first is the right step to take. You will then be able to benefit from their trust and feelings for you.

Only when you have all of these things in place can you use friendly persuasion effectively.

The Tools of the Friendly Persuasion Trade

There are a number of tools in the friendly persuasion trade that will help you to get what you want. The most important of these tools are evidence and facts and the stories you will tell others which you know they will relate to.

Another great tool is to always have the other person’s best interest at heart. You need to know what is good for them. So you need to make it your business to find out the common interests that you have with this person. The best way to do this is to ask yourself some important questions:

• Do they want to be a long term friend of yours?
• Do they want to form a working relationship with you?
• What are the common goals that you are both aiming for?

It is not difficult for you to find examples of friendly persuasion as it is going on all around you.

Just look at the ads on TV, on the Internet and in the newspapers and you will see a number of different persuasion tactics going on.

All of these messages are designed to change your way of thinking to theirs. Organizations spend billions each year to produce and distribute these persuasive messages so take the time to learn from them.

An effective marketing campaign that uses all of the right persuasion tools is not something that happened overnight. It takes a great deal of time and effort and testing to get these messages right. The best messages are the ones where you do not even realize that you are being persuaded.

Using Friendly Persuasion at Work

People will gravitate towards you in business when they perceive you as an expert. This applies to your bosses and your co-workers. So, your first action is to build trust with the people that you want things from.

Let’s start with co-workers. It is essential that you build a credible relationship here so that they will see you as a leader and will want to follow you. To impress your bosses so that you can climb the ladder in your job you need to become very knowledgeable about what you do and the organization that you work for.

This will often require you to learn outside of normal working hours. It may cost you money to do this and it will certainly take up your free time but the long-term rewards will be worth it. When you are able to demonstrate that you are an authority then people will take notice of you.

At this stage you can use friendly persuasion to get what you want. This is going to take a bit of time for you to practice and we recommend that you work on it each day. Be committed to learning and attend all of the training programs that you can.

Using Friendly Persuasion on Social Media

It is possible to get what you want from others by using friendly persuasion tactics on social media. Use the law of reciprocation here. If you do something for someone else then they will do something for you.

If you share a message that someone else has posted then they will share one of yours. If you like their page on Facebook then they will like yours. This is a great way to build a solid following on social media. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours.

Don’t try to use self promotion tactics on social media. This will not help you at all and is likely to have the opposite effect to what you want to achieve. Social media users tend not to like people that use these tactics and they will run a mile from you.

Post content on your social accounts that will help people. If your content is valuable and informative then people will want to share it.

Your aim here is to always keep your followers happy and give them what they want so that you can get what you want from them.

Once you build up good trust with your followers on social media then they will be a lot more responsive to anything that you have to offer. Maybe you want to recommend a product and make an affiliate commission from it or create your own products and get your followers to purchase these from you.

Make sure that you respond to any comments or purchases right away. If people see that you have honest intentions then they will want to know more about you, will like you and trust you. This is the perfect formula for friendly persuasion.

Using Friendly Persuasion when you Speak

The best way to use friendly persuasion in your speech is to speak with authority. You need total belief in what you are saying and then others will believe in you as well. It is very important that the language you use is correct for the situation that you are in. You need to speak clearly and be respectful of others at all times.

Avoid blaming or insulting other people. Remain professional and do not let criticism upset you. This is not always easy for you to do but you need to persist with this because being coercive and forceful with people is not a good idea. The last thing you want to do is to get involved in arguments with others.

If you want to use friendly persuasion when you are speaking to groups of people maybe in a presentation then you need to take note of what really persuasive speakers do. Here are few solid tips for you:

When you are standing up to speak keep your feet around a shoulder width apart. Focus on keeping your feet flat on the floor.

If you want to walk around during your presentation speech then do this with purpose. Keep your focus on the audience and walk the length of the stage.

Visual aids are a good thing to use to make important points to your audience. Remember that your aim is to persuade you to your way of thinking so use all of the available tools at your disposal to do this.

Be careful not to gesture too much. If you move your hands around too much it can be distracting for your audience and they may also get the sense that you are nervous which is the opposite to what you want to convey. You want your audience to see you as confident and strong.

Use different expressions on your face. A blank, stone face never goes down well. If you are sitting down while speaking then sit upright and avoid the temptation to slouch in your seat. Lean slightly forward and keep a good posture. You will look like an authority when you do this.

Never fold your arms when you are sitting and speaking and avoid clasping your hands together as well. These create a barrier for your audience. It is ok to gesture a bit when sitting down and talking.

If you are on the phone then use gestures to create the right tone of voice. The person on the other end will feel this. When you have an audience in front of you pay attention to how they are responding. Are they excited, laughing and clapping? Or are they motionless and expressionless?

If you notice the latter then you need to change your presentation immediately. Ask the audience some questions. Most people will gladly give you their opinion so give them the opportunity to do that.

Friendly Persuasion in Everyday Life

You can use different methods of friendly persuasion to get what you want in everyday life. One of the best ones is to create a need by using something that you know the other person loves. A second method is to appeal to something that is trendy or extremely popular at the time. And you can use specific words and phrases that are “loaded”.

Sometimes you are going to use friendly persuasion tactics and you will be faced with an objection from another person. If you have children then it is very likely that they will object to some of the things that you want them to do. Identify what the objections are and then use logic to dismiss them one by one.

Always bear in mind that demanding that someone does what you want will rarely work. It may work on your kids for a while but it is not sustainable. With everyone that you deal with you want them to believe that they are making the decision to do what you want from their own free will.

So going back to children you can give them some choices using terms such as “you have the time”, “it is your choice” or “you are free”. Reverse psychology can be a very powerful friendly persuasion tactic as well. By telling people to do the opposite of what you want them to do will often compel them to do what you actually want.

The reason that reverse psychology works so well is that it persuades people to do what you really want them to do through their own choice. When people think that they have made the decision then they will happily do what you want.

Be Passionate

People are attracted to passionate people. They will want to respond to you in the same way if you are passionate. So, we highly recommend that you use passion in your friendly persuasion efforts with others.

Passion is just an increase in your intensity. So, when you are talking about something that you want to persuade others to accept then crank up the intensity in your pitch. Raising your voice is another effective way to get other people’s attention. People will often believe that the loudest person in the group is the leader. They are the “go to” person.

Turning No’s into Yes’s

All of the best friendly persuaders are masters at turning a “no” into a “yes”. When you first start practicing your friendly persuasion techniques and you encounter a “no” you may be tempted to give up and walk away. Don’t do this – you need to turn the conversation around so that you get to a “yes”.

The first thing to do is to find out why the person said no to you. So just ask them why. Sometimes this is enough to make them change their mind and say yes because they had no real reason to say no in the first place.

If you approach a person that you anticipate will give you a no then there are a couple of ways that you can deal with this. The first way is to ask them to do something that is a lot more than you actually need. After they say no ask them if they will do you a smaller favor which is the thing that you actually want them to do.

The reason that this method has a high rate of success is that the other person is likely to feel bad about turning you down twice.

The second technique is to ask for the small thing first (which is what you really want) and then when they agree move this up a level by asking for the larger favor. Often people will agree to do both for you.

Use the Right Words

Never underestimate the power of words. They can be used effectively for both good and bad things. People in the advertising industry take a long time to choose the right words for their campaigns. They know how important the right words are in getting the best results.

There was a very interesting study conducted in 1999 which demonstrates the power of words. They used the same product and slightly different words to sell the same product which was a pack of cards.

Both groups of people were given the option to purchase the cards and in the first group only the exact dollar amount was told to them. Around 40% of the group made a purchase. The second group was told the amount in pennies and they added the words “which is a bargain”. Around 80% of this group purchased the cards.

Help People and use Empathy

If people think that you are being selfish with your friendly persuasion tactics then they will not want to do what you want. What you need to do is to give them the impression that you are not just trying to help yourself. Rather you want to show that you care about them and want to help them out as well.

If people think that you are trying to help them as well as yourself then they are far more likely to do what you want. A number of people will pick up on this intention because they will feel when you have their interests at heart. You might find this difficult to do when you are first starting out but it is essential for your success with friendly persuasion.

You need to develop your empathy skills to be a really good friendly persuader. It is very important that you understand and feel for the people that you require to help you out. This is a good way to show compassion and fundamental in friendly persuasion.

Get Social

You will be able to improve your friendly persuasion skills a lot more when you become a socializer. Overtime you develop the skill of interacting quickly and effectively with others. When you are a good socializer people will like to have good conversations with you and they will find you very entertaining.

A good friendly persuader is an optimist and they have good intuition. People will always be attracted to good socializers as they will feel comfortable when they are in their company. They like the fact that they talk a lot and are always happy and enthusiastic. So, make it your mission to be a good socializer.

Conclusion

Friendly persuasion works well if you do it right. It is not magic and you will have to work at it but if you follow the advice in this report then you will not go wrong. You are only going to master the art of friendly persuasion if you take consistent action.