The Art of Permission-Based Networking

Introductions are the lifeblood of networking. They’re how we connect, grow, and create opportunities, not just for ourselves, but for others too. Over the years, I’ve come to respect and appreciate the power of a well-timed, well-matched introduction, but if you’ve been in the networking game as long as I have, you’ve likely realized that not all introductions are created equal. ?

Sometimes, introductions don’t make sense. Maybe it’s a mismatch of professional goals or personal synergies. Perhaps the introduction feels redundant because you already know a dozen people or more who do the same thing. Or worse, the introduction comes with an implicit pressure to “make something happen” fast. ?

I’ve been there.

As someone deeply embedded in the networking world, I sometimes feel like people think I know everyone. And while I love making connections, I’ve learned that not every introduction is the right one.

That’s why I’ve decided to focus on permission-based introductions, a simple but game-changing approach that ensures greater impact for everyone involved. ?

Why Permission-Based Introductions? ?

The traditional approach to introductions often skips an important step: asking if both parties are open to the connection. Without this step, an introduction can feel forced or awkward, leaving both people questioning the purpose.

Here’s why permission-based introductions are a better way: ?

1. They Add Clarity and Relevance ?By asking first, you can gauge whether the connection is meaningful for both parties. Instead of guessing or hoping, you ensure there’s alignment in goals or interests. ?

2. They Show Respect ?Asking for permission before making an introduction demonstrates that you value people’s time and priorities. It’s a subtle but powerful way to show respect for their bandwidth and professional focus. ?

3. They Increase the Likelihood of Success ?When both parties willingly opt into an introduction, the chances of a productive conversation skyrocket, and they approach the connection with genuine curiosity and engagement. ?

How Permission-Based Introductions Work ?

Here’s how I approach permission-based introductions: ?

1. Start With the “Why” ?When someone requests an introduction or when I think of one myself, I take a moment to clarify why the connection might make sense. Is there a clear professional synergy? Could one person benefit from the other’s expertise or network? If the “why” isn’t clear, I reconsider the introduction altogether. ?

2. Reach Out Privately ?Before making the connection, I reach out to each person privately. I’ll explain the potential value of the introduction and ask if they’re open to it. For example: ?

“Hi [Name], I’ve been thinking about introducing you to [Name] because [specific reason]. They’re doing work in [field/industry], and I think you two could have a great conversation. Would you be open to an introduction?” ?

3. Facilitate With Context ?If both parties agree, I send a thoughtful email or message with enough context to make the introduction meaningful. This might include a brief overview of each person’s background, why I think the connection makes sense, and any suggestions for next steps. ?

The Problem With Hasty Introductions ?

Over the years, I’ve seen plenty of well-intentioned but poorly executed introductions. Here are a few common pitfalls: ?

Mismatched Goals: One person is looking for a job, while the other is focused on finding clients. ?

Unrealistic Expectations: The introducer assumes the connection will lead to immediate business, only for both parties to feel disappointed. ?

Lack of Relevance: The introduction feels random or unnecessary, leading to wasted time and energy.

Permission-based introductions solve these issues by fostering clarity, respect, and intentionality. ?

Why This Matters for Networking ?

Networking is about quality, not quantity. It’s not enough to simply connect people and hope for the best. To truly add value as a connector, you need to focus on making thoughtful, purposeful introductions that align with both parties’ goals. ?Permission-based introductions aren’t just about being polite, they’re about creating opportunities that matter. When you take the time to ask, explain, and contextualize, you elevate the quality of your connections and build stronger, more trusted relationships. ?

Incorporating permission-based introductions into your networking strategy may take a bit more effort upfront, but the rewards are worth it. You’ll build a reputation as a thoughtful and intentional connector, foster stronger, more meaningful relationships, and increase the likelihood of successful collaborations. ?

The next time you’re tempted to send a quick “you two should meet” email, pause. Take a moment to consider whether the introduction makes sense, and ask for permission first.

You’ll be surprised how much more impactful your connections can be when they’re built on mutual interest and respect, and that's the idea, right?

PS. I was writing this article when I saw a wonderful post by Robert S. D. stating much the same thing. Rob is an excellent networker so I feel I'm on the right path.

PPS. Photo from our networking road trip to the wineries on the North Fork, LI.?