The Art of People Reading

If effective communication is considered to be an essential soft skill in the workplace, would people reading be a close second?

I think not.

In fact, it should precede communication skills, since reading a person effectively facilitates and smoothens our subsequent communications with them.

In other words, people reading should be considered to be a more important and valuable skill than communication skills.

The benefits of people-reading skills extend beyond the workplace, since communications with others permeates every area of our life.

If done well, we can read others and adhere to their communicating and personality styles, thereby improving and enhancing our rapport with them.

Some might feel that doing so is hypocritical or even sycophantic when in actuality, it's simply a street-smart way of being that enables us to get along better with others.

At the core of this intention should be compassion, not manipulation.

If others are able to feel understood, respected and appreciated, wouldn't everyone be friendly to one another as well?

Wouldn't establishing goodwill with others be better than stepping on their toes or ruffling their feathers?

Some might argue that being genuine and authentic when interacting with others is better.

What if our communicating style irks and annoys them? Moreover, what if our opinions directly contradict others'?

If they are hot-tempered and like to retort, are we going to go ahead and speak our minds then?

What if these individuals are our supervisors or our bosses?

This article focuses on people reading in the workplace, although the practices and benefits permeate all aspect of our lives.

The expression "great communication skills" has often been highlighted in work descriptions of most job postings, but few understand exactly what they mean.

Some say that it means high emotional intelligence, while others say that it's being able to get along with others.

I believe what these expressions mean is this:

An astute ability to read others and upon establishing an understanding of them, communicate to them in a style that suits them.

DON'TS OF PEOPLE READING

Below are what we should not do when engaged in people reading:

• It should not be used to manipulate and control people.
• It should not be used to judge others critically, which we somewhat have a strong tendency to - especially towards individuals who have more flaws than virtues.

People reading is not about fault-finding.

It's about identifying strengths of others.

It's about understanding them better through observation and intuition, so that we can communicate better with them.

At times, we might fail to do so.

However, we should not beat ourselves over it, as we are human. We will get better at it over time.

As a side note, even for those whom we do not take well to, we should strive to advance others' interests before our own - as long as the decisions they make are legally, morally and ethically right and sound.

It is almost always the case that our interests are advanced through our constant striving to advance those of others first.

• It should not be used as a comparison tool: We should also not use people reading to compare ourselves with others.

When we do so, we tend to become envious or jealous when they are deemed better than us, and we often develop a condescending or arrogant attitude if others are not as good as us.

Comparison causes these problems.

To know about more details about the harms of comparison, this article might be useful.

All of us are strong in some ways and flawed in others.

This is a reality that we have to accept.

Hence, people reading should be used to accept others as they are, and not used as a comparison tool.

DOS OF PEOPLE READING

People reading should be used to:

• Enhance mutual understanding and develop rapport with others
• Facilitate workplace commuications to minimize conflicts
• Understand someone's strengths and talents
• Understand someone's areas for improvement
• Understand a person's worldview

However, when others are very different from us, we tend to see more of their flaws and be critical of them.

Nevertheless, when we understand more of others' perspectives - especially those that deviate from us - we will gradually discover their strengths, develop an open mindset and eventually, come to an understanding that we all think, talk and behave differently.

In this way, we learn to be more open-minded and be accepting of others.

This requires adaptability and a high receptivity to varied interpretations of people's responses to situations, which are prerequisites to reading people well.

Regrettably, people reading is often not taught in mainstream schools and students are often left to their own devices when it comes to learning it.

Most graduates are thus left to learn this on their own when they enter the workplace.

In addition, I notice that there seems to be a lack of literature on this subject matter as well.

This explains why teamwork miscommunication and disagreement is a perennial problem in schools, and why workplace conflicts are prevalent.

Few of us are adept in reading people.

While books on conflict management are useful in resolving disagreements and altercations, we need to master people reading, possess a strong understanding of human nature and understand personality psychology to get to the root of the problem.

DEBUNKING THE MYTHS OF PEOPLE READING

Before we delve into the important aspects of people reading, here are some myths that should cleared up:

People reading is impossible

Some argue that people reading is impossible as people are complex and their personality changes over time.

This is true.

When we engage in people reading, we are observing them at a single point in time.

People's moods, perspectives and opinions often change over time, depending on their life circumstances.

This is where being open to changes in others' traits becomes important.

When we observe others over time, the best people readers do not allow themselves to assume that what they observe about others would always remain the same.

Instead, they observe them in the present moment but should there be discrepancies in their behaviour and thoughts as compared to the past, they would often seek to find the cause.

Then, based on the reasons for the change, they update their understanding of others accordingly.

We cannot understand someone completely

This is also true.

Everyone has our private side, and we are not obliged to reveal this.

Hence, it's highly unlikely that we will know someone completely well, even after years of friendship.

This change is often dependent on our circumstances and experiences over time.

Then again, with experience and sufficient practice in our observation skills, we should be able to get a good read of someone within a short period of time, at a particular point in time.

And knowing something about them is better than not knowing them at all.

People reading is manipulative

In the same way that we can make use of money to do good, we can choose to use people reading skills to improve our relations with others.

We can do this by highlighting their interesting talents or strengths to them, thereby increasing their self-awareness.

Our observation can also serve as interesting fodder for conversations, thereby building better relationships with them.

Building positive relationships with others through astute observation should not be considered as manipulative, unless we use our observation to gain something from them.

It is, in fact, a way to understand others better.

We should use this understanding as an act of compassion by taking the effort on our part to identify others' blind spots, and then taking actions to communicate with them about this at an opportune time so that they can better a better person.

People reading is complex and hard to master

People reading is indeed a skill that requires time to master as we need to observe a large number of people before we can somewhat accurately assess others properly.

In addition, we need to understand human nature, personalities and psychology.

This often takes years, but our effort will pay off over time since the more we observe, the more accurate we are in reading people.

If there is a framework where we can start, it will be much easier to approach this topic.

Rather than observing others haphazardly or randomly, it's better to know what to look for when observing and interacting with others.

What we think about will often materialize in the forms of our verbal output and in our actions - from the internal to the external.

However, when we read someone, it's the other way round.

We would observe their external appearances first, before delving into their inner thoughts and world view. That is, from the external to the internal.

What follows are areas where we can focus on so thatwe can read people effectively:

Demeanor & Vibe

One of the first things we do in people reading is to look at their demeanor and vibe.

"Demeanor" refers to our mannerism and way of behaving that includes our non-verbal cues such as our facial expression, how we respond to our environment, and to others when engaged in conversation.

Our demeanor is observable.

"Vibe" refers to the impression that we give others, resulting in others having a positive, neutral or negative impression of us.

Our vibe is felt by others, and not visibly observable.

Although a person's demeanor and vibe are highlighted together here, they are not the same thing.

Let's explore demeanor first.

Societal influence and expectations, one's upbringing, culture and education level can influence our demeanor.

Based on our observation of a person's demeanor, we can somewhat sense the person's background, at times even their educational level and profession.

We do so not to discriminate but to understand how we can best communicate with others.

If they are not as educated, we can speak slower with the use of simpler words and minimizing technical jargons.

If we know their profession, we can talk about trends in their industry (if we have prior knowledge of it) to build rapport with them. If we do not, then we can listen to them intently and learn from them.

Listening well, along with the use of appropriate prompts, can be much more effective in rapport-building than even the best speaker in the world.

Now, what about vibes?

Our thoughts create our inner world, and this ripples out as the vibe we emit, which others feel about us in the form of feelings - at the subconscious level.

At one point or another, we would have experienced and felt the happiness or disappointment of someone even if they do not emote.

At times, others might be laughing when we know they are sad.

Or we could have walked into a meeting room and immediately tense up as we sense a certain degree of tension in the room. We would then somehow know that there had been an altercation earlier.

How do we know the truth for what it is?

We have sensed the vibe of the person and the room respectively.

The intuitives and empaths are often great at this, but everyone can achieve this if we put in the effort to be more sensitive to our environment and people around us.

What is mentioned above refers to the vibe of the person and the room at a particular point in time.

However, in people reading, we are looking at the vibe that the person gives out consistently over time, as this reflects his inner world.

We are not looking at their vibe at a particular point in time, such as when they are happy during their birthdays, or when they are disappointed at their mediocre academic results.

When we combine the person's demeanor and vibe, assuming we have observed well, we would have a rather good overall feel, sensing and understanding of the person.

ATTIRE

It's not a coincidence that a person is wearing what they are wearing at any point in time, assuming that their clothes are chosen by them and not by anyone else.

Consider a dating event such as speed dating.

The attire that the participants choose to wear or the event - regardless of gender - is meant to be a form of self-expression.

It's impossible for us to tell everyone we meet or walk past in public who we are.

Thus, we use attire as a form of self-expression, and it's up to others to read us.

As fashion designer Rachel Zoe said:

"Style is a way of saying who we are without having to speak."

The responsibility of reading and understanding others is always on us, and not for others to tell us.

Our clothing is not only to keep us warm or to be used as a fashion statement.

It is also an extension of who we are, in the same way that cars are an extension of their owners.

Drivers choose car brands for a reason.

Drivers who like to brand themselves would choose luxurious cars while more pragmatic drivers would choose brands that are more reliable and durable.

Going back to the speed dating event, ladies who choose to dress in a prim and proper manner - and with make-up - would be those who strive to meet the expectations of the event, as well as being respectful towards themselves, those they meet, as well as the event organizers.

Those who do not make up or dress casually may be individuals who want others to accept them as who they are. These ladies may be the outdoor type, where they do not put on make-up on typical days. Hence, they strive to be authentic by doing the same on such dating events.

In a way, they are probably goal-driven as well, since they would most likely attract guys who take well to them (which might well be their intention) and somewhat unconventional, since they do not adhere to social norms.

Individuals who are sporty would often be in sports attire, sporting sports apparel brands.

Those who are more formal in their personality would often dress in business casuals, even for weekend outings.

The attention-seekers would often dress in an avant garde manner and wears fashionable accessories.

And those who have a rich inner world would often not place much emphasis on their attire at all, as their focus is more abstract in nature. They might even feel that their personality is all that matters.

Our clothing allows us to tell the world who we are.

Be it at the conscious or subconscious level, this is what we do.

As fashion designer Phoebe Philo said:

"I'm not interested in clothes that just convey a certain look or fashion. Clothes for me have always been a form of self-expression."

Tone

Tone is different from a person's pitch.

While a person's pitch is innate to a large extent, tone varies with a person's mood and temperament, which changes with one's circumstances over time.

Nevertheless, over the years, based on our perception of our inner world and who we are, our tone will generally be shaped by us, making it somewhat consistent in typical situations.

Thus, a person who craves for control and power would somewhat have a commanding tone.

A person who is somewhat helpful would have a soft and pleasant tone.

A person who is cynical and skeptical would have a strong questioning tone, often coupled with a frown on their faces.

Seen in this light, we can often read a person pretty well over a call over time, and need not read them in person.

This is especially effective when this is used in combination with what we will discuss next: word use.

Do also note that observation of someone over the phone should be done over a sustained period of time, and not simply in one call in order for our read to be much more accurate and precise.

Word use

Our word usage is often determined by our personality.

If we are the intellectual, thinking types, we often use words such as "think", "determine", "decide", "analyze", "assess", "output", "calculate", "brainstorm', etc.

For those of us who are sentimental, we often use words such as "feel", "love", "embrace", "nurture", "guide", "care", etc.

If we are the organised type, then words such as "organize", "plan", "structure", "framework", "list", and "to-do list" are likely to be used.

We can also assess a person's speech and written works in emails, which will be mentioned below, to analyze their personality.

Thus, by listening to the verbal and written words that others tend to use over time, especially repetitive words, we can get a sense of the person's personality and their world views.

Introversion vs Extroversion

This is possibly one of the easiest ways to observe someone, since introverts and extroverts behave quite differently, as their cognitive processes are innately different.

Extroverts tend to exhibit the following traits:

• Vocal
• Initiate and carry conversations quite well
• Work the room well
• Adept in speaking to large groups of people and relish the limelight
• Love to attend social events and may even be the organizer
• Connect with others fast

Introverts tend to exhibit the following traits:

• Interacts well in one-to-one or small group settings.
• Develop deep relationships with the few they find compatible
• Express themselves better in writing than in speaking
• Great listeners who are attuned to active listening
• More expressive with emoticons in text messages
• Less spontaneous and more deliberate in their responses

Photo (and possibly, videos) that they take

This follows from the previous point on introverts and extroverts, who take different types of photos.

Generally, most extroverts take more photos and post more frequently on social media than introverts.

Extroverts' photos and videos often exhibit the following:

• Selfies, family and concert photos and videos
• Group photos and videos, often including themselves.
• Fun images, sometimes making funny faces and gestures
• Food photos with outdoor cafes, restaurants and venues
• Photos and videos showing their involvement in work and professional events

Introverts' photos and videos often exhibit the following:

• Prefer to capture images of the world than themselves.
• Photos and videos are usually of scenic and beautiful places
• Photos and videos of events and people who are significant to them
• Quotes and book extracts with content that are meaningful to them

Responses to questions

Based on a person's responses to others' questions, comments and remarks, we can understand their personality.

This aspect of observation is very diverse and cannot be covered in a single article. Hence, let's use a common scenario in the workplace to illustrate how we can observe someone's personality.

Consider a time when we misplace or are unable to locate an email sent by someone. When we approach someone to help us with this, there are typically three responses:

1. The person assists us in retrieving the email themselves. Then they forward the email to us via email and inform us about it.
2. The person teaches us how to search for the email and subsequently, we manage to retrieve it.
3. The person asks us to search and find the misplaced email without extending any assistance

From here, we can see that the first individual is a people-oriented person. Not only do they have rather high EQ (people like those who help them), they also have a caring nature that endears others to them.

On the other hand, this tendency to help others may become a bane when others take advantage of their kindness by constantly seeking their assistance. In addition, their willingness to help may take up much of their time, adversely affecting their own work.

As for the second person, who often live by the adage "teach the person to fish rather than give them a fish", has an effective approach to life.

In the process of helping others, they also focus on others helping themselves in the long run.

This moderate approach to rendering assistance to others is effective in striking a balance in helping others, while still freeing up time to manage their own work.

However, teaching others how to do something takes up much more time than doing the work itself, which can be a time-consuming process in the beginning.

The third person is often the "no nonsense" type and oftentimes, more of a logical rather than a people-oriented person. They tend to value their own time and interest over that of others.

This type is often efficient and effective in their work but may have poor relations with others, often compromising their leadership qualities and potential as well as promotion prospects, as they might be unable to garner support from their subordinates who often do not take well to them.

An interesting question to ask ourselves is:

Which person do we like and relate to?

Based on our choices, we tend to be this kind of person too.

During our free time, we can observe how others respond to people and circumstances.

It is surprising how much we can learn about others without speaking to or even knowing them at all, relying primarily on our observation and intuition.

Values & Priorities

Continuing from the previous point, we can often identify values that others live by through their speech and responses as well.

We can also ask them questions to understand them better.

By understanding their values, we can identify their priorities, as the former often determines the latter.

Most of our thoughts, speech and action are guided by our values, as follows:

• Work-focused: Including workaholics, a person who values hard work would spend long hours at work, at times going beyond normal working hours, often blending work with leisure.
• Work-life Balance: A person who is focused on maintaining work-life balance would try their best to leave work on time and adhere strictly to their working hours. They often will not take well to work-related calls, incoming emails or text messages after office hours or when they are on vacation, even if it's from their clients or immediate supervisors - unless they are urgent.
• Altruism: A person who believes in altruism would be willing to spend time helping others voluntarily (and not assigned) as mentors to others in the workplace, using their experience to guide others. They might also contribute their time at voluntary organizations for positive causes that they believe in, such as helping the needy or raising funds to better people's lives.
• Materialism: A person who is focused on financial gain would have most of their attention focused on business, profits and their earning potentials. Their interest would revolve around money, business opportunities, job promotions, pay raises, real estate, income-generating assets, and learnings that increase one's earning potential, etc. The more ambitious and adventurous might even explore entrepreneurship.
• Family-oriented: A person who is family-oriented would often mention their families often in their conversation with others. Their office workspace would also often be filled with photos of themselves with their family.
• Beauty: A person who appreciates aesthetics would love to delve into the arts and talk about their experiences in films, music, photography, painting and other arts-related topics, and their workspaces are often adorned with artistic items, such as photos and artistic artefacts.
• Personal Growth: A person who is into personal development would often mention about books that they read in this genre and pin up motivational quotes on the walls of their workspace to remind themselves to improve.
• Health: A health-conscious person would encourage others to eat healthily and is likely to engage others in health-related conversations, or steer them towards a heathier lifestyle. Their workspace is often filled with healthy snacks and health supplements, not to mention that they often take special care to wear coats and use umbrellas (including parasols) to protect themselves from the harsh weather. It is not uncommon to see health-conscious individuals doing simple exercises in the office to stay fit, sometimes with gym equipment such as dumb bells or yoga mats.

Here are some common values that we have:

• Health
• Work
• Family
• Personal development
• Marriage
• Children
• Leisure
• Alone time
• Altruism & Voluntary activities
• Professional networking
• Friendship
• Finances
• Spirituality

Our values often determine our priorities.

Hobbies & Interests

It is unsurprising that typical questions put forward by participants in speed dating are "What are your hobbies?" or "What do you do during your weekends?"

Besides work and the required task to get us through our daily routines, most of our time is often spend on our interests.

Hence, our responses to the abovementioned two questions say a lot about us, as follows:

• If someone's interested in learning a foreign language, they often have perseverance and determination, since this is not an easy endeavour to pursue. This explains the reason why indicating the study of a foreign language often attracts the attention of job recruiters.
• If someone's interest is in photography, they often possess a strong appreciation of aesthetics, coupled with a high level of creativity. However, our creative inclinations also depend on our personality. For example, in areas of photography, the logically inclined individuals tend to have a mastery over its technicalities, such as shutter speed settings and white balance, while those who are artistically inclined are often more into creative composition, image framing and semiotics.
• If someone loves to read (and possibly, write), they are often intellectuals, with specialized knowledge in some subject areas due to years of reading, especially if they are focused on certain areas of interest. They may also be thought leaders who may make good consultants, advisors or mentors to others - especially if they have an ability to blend their life experiences with the knowledge they acquire through reading to offer practical advice to others.

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When we identify and learn about someone's interest, we can often relate their interests to their personality.

In other words, we can generally learn about someone within a shorter period of time simply by knowing their primary interests.

In the art of people reading, the above approaches are effective and efficient ways to know someone fast, which is especially useful when we only get to meet the person once at professional or social events.

Having similar interests brings us closer.

However, having different interests, and especially values, can be very challenging in the rapport-building process - as disagreements and conflicts might ensue.

In the workplace, if two person's differences in personality and values are too drastic, then it might be best for both to each take a step back and strike a consensus to work towards an effective communicating style acceptable to both parties, so as to maintain a healthy working relationship, albeit a prosaic one.

Communicating & Working styles

Based on a person's working style, we can read them.

For example, a person who calls to get things done are often more of a doer, and likely to be a "rolls up the sleeves" kind of person with a diligent and practical approach.

On the flip side, they may come across or be somewhat impatient, and may not take well to emailing or texting, especially when it comes to explaining the details. In lieu of texting, they may prefer sending audio clips instead.

On the other hand, a person who prefers deliberate thought prior to taking action may be more of a thought leader, showing a preference for more detailed planning, strategizing and communications through emails and texting, rather than calls.

This type may be more meticulous in their planning and may make great advisors and mentors, although they often take longer than necessary to take action or make decisions.

Then there are those who strive to seek everyone's consensus before making most decisions.

Collectivistic by nature, they often need to get buy-ins from their colleagues before taking action.

While being considerate of others might make them popular, this often causes delays when it comes to situations that call for quick decision-making in the workplace.

On the other hand, those who are independent decision-makers or who take the lead in decision-making are often incisive and decisive, but they may come across as hard-charging, with minimal regard for the feelings and perspectives of others.

There are no perfect people.

Personality styles

This is possibly one of the most complex aspects of people reading.

Thus, within the scope of this article, let's look at the main aspects of personality duality in a succinct manner and through this, read the person:

• Introversion vs Extroversion
• Intellectual vs Experiential
• Family-oriented vs Work-focused
• Logical vs Emotional
• Thinker vs Doer
• Left-brained (logical) vs Right-brained (emotional)
• Convergent thinker vs Divergent thinker
• Materialist vs Spiritualist
• Structured versus Spontaneous
• Traditionalist vs Rebel

It is important to note that humans are complex in nature and hence, their preference might switch in different context and situations. It also depends on their level of self-awareness and social consciousness.

As people readers, it is up to us to note their preferred cognitive mode in specific situations. Hence, we need to read each person individually, and in various scenarios over an extended period of time.

Email writing style

We can read someone through their writing style, as follows:

• If the person's writing style is concise and succinct, this person is often more of a logical and rational person with a practical approach to work. Almost all corporate workplaces prefer employees with such writing style, as the objective of emails is to get things done soonest.
• If a person is meticulous to a fault, they may be fixated in ways that often spill over into their work that includes their high expectations of others. For example, someone may fault another by telling them that their choice of words is wrong, and insist that others change the word to the one that they believe is right. If they remain insistent in their ways, they are often not easy to work. Most if not most micromanagers often exhibit such traits. However, their skeptical approach often produces impeccable work.
• If a person's writing is filled with metaphors and analogies, they may have a rich sense of imagination, are artistically inclined as well as creatively expressive in the linguistic sense. They may also be open and attuned to multiple perspectives and possibilities. For some of these individuals, they may be great writers and possibly have a literary vein or gifted in the literary sense, especially in the fantasy or historical genre.
• If a person's writing style is technical in nature, combined with a flair to reinforce their arguments with facts that are supported by evidence, they are often great writers in areas of debate and persuasion.

Such individuals' writing is to the point, exacting and precise.

While they may use stories to make their argument more convincing and richer, their focus is often on the points they made, and not the stories themselves - the latter of which serves as more of an add-on to their arguments.

They are often pragmatic and analytical in their approach to life. They often have a primary interest in research and the sciences, tend to be very academically inclined, and intellectual in their arguments.

• If their writing is more informal and expressive, with lots of emoticons and possibly, frequent use of GIFs, these individuals are often creative.

This is especially so when they use GIFs, since using them often require knowledge of semiotics and inferences.

They are also people-oriented individuals who may also be averse to disagreements and altercations.

To some extent, they may also have a childlike approach to life.

They are often idealists and may have a strong interest in the creative arts.

Texting style & Response speed

We can also read a person through their text messages and response speed, as follows:

• Excessive use of emoticons: They are often expressive. If they are introverted, they might not be very expressive in person. If this person is more of a listener in person, they are likely to be introverted with a rich inner world. They may also be conflict-averse and have a good sense of humour. They are also likely to be emotional, sentimental, and creative.
• Curt and to the point: These individuals are often systematic and organized. They may also be authoritative, directive, more of a doer, tend to cut to the chase in their arguments and highly likely to be incisive and decisive. They may often prioritise tasks over human relations.
• Long-winded and detailed: They may be analytical and meticulous in nature, and may be someone who thinks out loud in writing rather than speaking. These individuals are often strong analytical and organized writers. They often value comprehensiveness.
• Long-winded and repetitive: While these individuals may have a predilection to teach and lecture, they are often unable to organize their thoughts well enough for their messages to come across coherently.
• Often correct their writing after sending text/email: This applies specifically to both text messages and emails. These individuals who tend to correct their typos after sending them may be impatient or impulsive. This could be that they are too enthusiastic to send their messages to inform others, or they could be someone who focuses more on content than grammar. Such individuals could also have a meticulous nature as well, or a perfectionistic streak.
• Delayed or No reply: With the exception of those who are unwell, attending to urgent matters or emergencies, travelling, checking out the details or awaiting someone's updates in order to reply, not replying to someone's message promptly or timely would implicitly imply that the recipients are not high on their priority list, or not being respected at all for that matter.

In the event that we cannot reply within a short period of time, we should inform the recipients, while providing a valid reason.

It is especially frustrating to be in a "message read but not replied" scenario.

With the exception of a valid reason for doing so, not replying are often interpreted by others as passive-aggressiveness.

In the workplace, not closing communication loops - be it via texting or emails - is often unacceptable as it's unprofessional. This is especially so when responding to one's clients or superiors.

Entertainment preference

We can also read someone's interest through their preferred entertainment genre:

• Documentaries: Individuals who love documentaries often have a serious side to their personality and approach to life. This does not mean that they are all business and no fun, but they tend to have a more intense interest in the technicalities and the more serious stuff. They also tend to communicate quite well in the workplace as their communication style tend to be quite formal and business-like.
• Korean dramas: As K-pop permeates the global entertainment scene, South Korean dramas are getting more popular. However, not everyone is watching them, which enables us to read someone who actually has such interest. Korean dramas are not escapism. It is very well filmed, with strong characterization and there are many life lessons embedded in them, in the same way that life philosophy is often found in Japanese anime and manga.

Thus, people who love South Korean dramas are often sentimental in nature to a large extent, and may have an appreciation of aesthetics. South Korean drama's' cinemagraphy and chosen camera angles are often very well selected.

Such individuals might also exhibit an inclination to learn about psychology, specifically personality types and communication skills, as the dramas have very engaging and at times thought-provoking dialogues, not to mention the conflicts between different individuals of varied personality, experiences and background.

• (Romantic) Comedies: These individuals may adopt a light-hearted approach to life and tend to be jovial in their disposition, laughing relatively easily to jokes and even concocting some themselves.

They make great friends and may socialize relatively well in social and professional events, often peppering their conversations with jokes.

There are also another group of individuals who watch this genre for a totally different reason: to allow themselves to laugh in order to release increased or accumulated stress in their lives.

• Dark-themed films and dramas: Individuals who love such genres often have a serious side to their personality.

They may also have an inclination to uphold justice in an often-perceived unfair world, and may have a disposition to support the impoverished, the unprotected, the under-served and the underdogs.

They may also be unconventional in their thinking (which may make them creative in a sense). They may also have an astute ability to put themselves in the shoes of individuals who are different from them, be it in terms of personality, mindset or world views.

They are often receptive to a world of grey, and not seeing everything in black or white.

• Arthouse films: Arthouse film enthusiasts are often artistic, and may have an interest in societal problems and issues, since the thematic elements of arthouse films tend to revolve round this.

A good example would be the acclaimed South Korean film "Parasite", where the disparity in terms of social class between the wealthy and the impoverished is examined and explored.

They may also be patient since arthouse films' pacing is often slow.

They are often receptive to diverse world views and perspectives, since arthouse films are often controversial and prove to be a rather uncomfortable watch for the conservatives and the traditionalists, at times exploring taboo subject matters in society.

Manga and Anime: Individual who love manga and anime often have an inner child in them. They may also daydream and fantasize as well. To certain extent, they may also be somewhat philosophical since oftentimes, life lessons are embedded in the stories. Some good examples would be "GTO" (Great Teacher Onizuka) and "The Promised Neverland", where the former seeks to break the stereotypes of educators while the latter explores power hierarchy in society.

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I always love to ask others if they are Netflix fans or if they subscribe to any entertainment services, since this says something about them.

Subscribing to a paid entertainment service often indicates an avid interest in entertainment, which also means that these individuals take time out for leisure in a somewhat "indoor" kind of way, as compared to those who relax through sports and outdoor activities.

And by asking them about the genre they watch, we can read them at a deeper level.

For example, those interested in documentaries and those who love to analyze dramas scene by scene - akin to film critics - are often more cerebral and intellectual in nature.

Of course, not subscribing to any entertaining services also says something about others as well.

This implies that their interest may reside somewhere outside of onscreen entertainment, be it sports, nature, outdoor activities or in-person socializing, of which we need to observe further.

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Precise and accurate people reading is a very complex art that often take years to master, as it requires long periods of astute observation, life experiences and yes, reading of books on different subject matters, coupled with a proficient ability to engage in associative thinking.

When a person has mastered people reading to a proficient level, others often consider them to be highly perceptive.

There is nothing unusual about these individuals.

It's simply years of working at reading people that had bore fruit.

This is probably the lengthiest article I have written for this weekly newsletter on LinkedIn to date but to be very frank, the content is not even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to people reading.

However, it is my wish that the content will provide at least a starting point for those who have an interest in people reading, as there are so many ways to read someone, to the extent that we do not know how and where to start.

I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate my stand that to be exemplary communicators, doing a read of others individually and deeply should precede the learning of communication skills.

Few of us would excel at building rapport with others if we do not see the world through their eyes first.

As the character Atticus Finch said in the literary masterpiece "To Kill a Mockingbird" by novelist Harper Lee:

"You never understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.......until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

Start observing those whom we share strong affinity with, and then expand our observations to acquaintances, strangers and finally, those whom we do not take well to.

Gradually, we will develop the skills of people reading and finally, master it or at the very least, hone the skill to a highly proficient level.

Have fun reading people. You will not regret it.

And while you are at it, have fun! Let's look forward to the day where we can read other people like a book.

READER’S REQUEST

A reader has requested for a summary of approaches for people reading.

This is a great request.

Below are some recommended approaches to reading people within a short period of time:

1.???Listen deeply; Listen well

We often engage in selective listening instead of listening actively. The latter allows us to tune in to not only what others are saying but also what are implied between the lines.

During the listening process, we should look out for recursive themes, raised issues, areas of concern, interests, justifications and rationale for their decisions and actions. Herein lies their values, beliefs and priorities. ???

2.???Observe their attire, environmental and social interactions

A person’s choice of attire almost never lies. Our thoughts and attitude often translate into our speech and mannerism. Hence, by observing how others interact with their external environment and people over time, we can better understand them.

3.???Observe their Leisure Activities

We are often bounded by our responsibility to family and work. However, when we are freed from it, we will naturally gravitate towards areas of our interest. Observing how others spend their leisure time says a lot about them.

4.????Observe their expectations of others and themselves:

Our expectations of others often contain our (perceived) strengths (and weaknesses), needs, beliefs, values and world views. Thus, when we understand others’ expectations, we can often identify the aforementioned aspects of the person.

5.???Observe their goals, hopes and dreams:

Contained within our goals, hopes and dreams are our interests, values and inner yearnings (read: ambition). Along the same vein, we can discover the same in others through their goals, hopes and dreams.

Globe-trekkers value freedom and often possess a high degree of openness.

Prolific writers value depth and prefer the written word. ?

Businesspeople value autonomy and prioritize financial earnings.

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These approaches are important, especially during occasions when we need to do a quick read of a person to assess their suitability as friends, business associates or employees.

However, it’s important to note that our thoughts, feelings and perspectives often change over time, depending on our life situations and experiences that are in a state of flux.

Hence, we have to constantly observe, analyse and assess others in order to better communicate with them.

Nevertheless, the abovementioned approaches serve as useful starters in people reading and are effective in knowing them better within a short period of time.

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If you find this article insightful, you might find my newsletter on career and personal development, leadership and work communications useful. You can subscribe to it here . Thank you for your support.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Patrick Tay? is an educator, career coach and people developer who has more than 15 years of professional teaching and mentoring experiences in institutes of higher learning. Previously, he had worked in publishing, corporate communications, education sales and business development.

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