The art of metamorphosis

I'm in an interesting state of life.?I'm neither young, nor old (biologically).?For the first time, I'm not on a corporate / startup treadmill that comes with a daily conveyor belt of issues to sort through, even when on vacation. And I'm not done either.?Some of the most ambitious endeavors I've set eyes on are in motion or yet to come (read the end of the issue to hear more about them).

Some might refer to this as a transition period.?But for me, it's been much more. Transitions are typically about movement through companies, roles, locations under the same way of living and being.

Transitions are about movement under the same way of living and being.

In this issue, learn how to go far beyond transition.

Let's take an example. You've landed a new role in a new company / function / industry and there is plenty of adjustment ahead.?But it's likely the same vibe or frequency.?The common vibe could be constant juggling of demands, responsibilities and ambitions in a way that can seem overwhelming.?I refer to this way of living as "Stack Overflow Syndrome".??

Many of us live with "Stack Overflow Syndrome"

Add one or two items to the top and the stack tips over.?Then you have to rearrange the stack mentally and push some aside until there is space again.??A degree of this is normal, especially for ambitious people.?If perpetual, it can be taxing and lead to burnout.?Constant bombardment from all the matters on your plate is not the vibe you want in life.?It will neither foster your best work or be sustainable.?

One can grow capacity via nutrition, fitness, concentration skills, planning and filtering.?But capacity does reach a limit.?

The thing about transitions is they rarely allow space for changing the vibe by which you live.??Taking a month to rest, recover and enjoy time before a new role kicks in is often not enough.?And the sabbatical from work is probably even less of an opportunity to allow for enough reflection.?

Why metamorphosis is different

That's why is entirely different to stop "cold" the main thing you do, and not know exactly what or when the next main thing may be.?

Instead of a transition, it's an opportunity for metamorphosis.?I say opportunity because it’s not a guarantee.?You could stay in transition between the same state of affairs, like I did when ascending various C Suite roles.?The company name or role may change but not necessarily the underlying way of being.?

Metamorphosis is different.?It’s a way of remaining ambitious, perhaps even more so than before, while flipping your relationship with time.??

Many of us have a very unhealthy relationship with time.?For too long, a good use of time has been measured by productivity.?Burn down tasks from the list, and feel some momentary satisfaction until the next tide of items washes that away. Productivity will never love you back. It only loves itself.?

The way one?shows up through time?is a better reflection of whether it's being used well.?

In this issue, we explore how one "shows up in time" is a totally different mental model.

What determines how one shows up??To answer that we?must be willing to look inward.?

The Outward and Inward

Inward reflection sheds light on a different kind of work that doesn't come through in a task list.?

Most task lists are about the external.?When asked how time is being used, most people mention responsibilities, commitments, dreams and downtime activities. Often these aspects of life are prioritized and scheduled, leaving very little space for much else.

And when measuring whether time is being used wisely, we fall into the same trap of quantifying productivity across these facets.? I’ve fallen into this trap myself.

Inward reflection deserves time in the same way that external activities do.?Reflection will surface important emotions - whether fleeting or long lived - and these take work to?sort through.?

Coming to terms with, addressing or resolving these emotions is what allows our inward state to equal our outward state.?

When the consistency of our inward and outward states takes place, we can show up in harmony.?

And the opposite is true.?When the outward demands involving all of your commitments and responsibilities keep spinning, while inward reflection is not granted fair share,?it will show up.?It could be anxiety, haste, lack of concentration and presence, distraction or reduced ability to hear where other people are coming from.?

For example, let's take the classic case of asking "Have I been productive as I desired today?"?

It would be common for this to be measured by a list you developed at the start of the day.?

Then things happen.?And your original list was better understood to involve more effort than estimated.?The window on your day is closing, and there's?anxiety about a list of things that won't occur in today's timeline.?Quality time with people is planned for later in the day, and one feels conflict due to the productivity expectations set by yourself.??

It's a routine yet frequent scenario.?It's a shame for a nagging feeling to interrupt presence in our personal time.?A little bit of inner reflection might help flip the script.?

Reflection might help us question emotional conflict.?

Reflection is a powerful tool to question emotional conflict that isn't necessary.

Did I?accomplish enough??What's more realistic??What might I have to accept and adjust to resolve the nagging feeling??How might I juggle things differently, and is the adjustment a big deal??Based on what's important now, did I make the best use of time?

There are bigger issues of course than?daily productivity that could be?festering inward.?

They may involve relationships, careers, financial matters and personal ambitions.?Metamorphosis requires dealing with them.?It could be finding reasons to finally accept something,?allow yourself something without holding back, forgiving others or yourself in?order to let go of toxicity.?

Doing so will show up in how you show up.?When the internal to-do?list is being managed, it clears the way for much better engagement on the external.?

Therefore the art of metamorphosis is also the art of letting go, the art of forgiving yourself, the art of forgiving others and (ultimately) the art of allowance.??

To show up in the right way, ask yourself what do I need to get?comfortable with that I haven't quite?allowed??And then allow it.

Key Practices

To trigger metamorphosis, one doesn’t need to stop work or livelihood “cold.”

It would be impractical to advise people to make such a move, and the good news is that it's not required.??We can benefit from those who have gone through (or are going through the experience).??

I've picked up a lot in a dedicated period of reflection, having?stopped cold 9 months ago.?And to make it more concrete, here are some specific practices to share:

1. Stop measuring how much got done, and instead observe how you showed up.? Trust me, it's the only barometer that matters and solid?productivity will be an output of?practicing this.
2. In the earlier part of your day, allow yourself one thing that is calling inside, instead of?rigidly following the calendar and "next up" responsibility.
3. Stop measuring progress based on timing expectations and shift to real signals like the extent of growth in knowledge, skill and clarity.?
4. Make the choice to be the same person in all environments so theres no inward burden or switching costs.?
5. Maintain a health distance between your commitments, responsibilities and ambitions and the measure of your worth.?This will help you show up without their inevitable ups and downs take over.??
6. After knocking out an important item on the list, never immediately move into the "next task up."?Instead let a good feeling burn in.?Your internal self?deserves it.?And it will need it.?

Summary

Taken together, these?practices can help one sustain for the next wave of?ambitions and endeavors.?Like I said at the top of the issue, I'm about to embark on some of my biggest endeavors.?They include Board work for some major companies and a major business book you'll be hearing about in the future.?And there will be more ambitious projects on top of this.?

So rather than simply transitioning to them in old ways, I'm choosing?metamorphosis because I see potential for what my coach, Lisa May , calls "regenerative energy."?

Regenerative energy is the holy grail for ambitious people.

If you're not familiar with Lisa, check out this recent profile about her work in neuroscience, mindfulness and change.

Regenerative energy is the holy grail for the world's most ambitious people.?It entails minimal conflict between the?energy needed to take on new ambitions, goals and commitments while avoiding drain on soul and the heart.?

Regenerative energy allow one to take on new ambitions while avoiding drain on soul and the heart.?

I hope other?ambitious people will choose metamorphosis instead of?transition.

Please share your ideas in the comments. And share this issue if you think others can benefit.