The art of "making it work" in business AND love.

Making a marriage work does not come naturally; making a marriage work when the couple are business partners can be double jeopardy.

A couple has asked us to help them decide whether to risk damaging their marriage by becoming partners in one of their businesses. There are so many factors to consider, but wisely, their most significant concern is whether it will negatively affect their loving relationship. It’s clear from our initial conversations that their combination of skills focusing on different areas of the business can be a positive game changer and take a burden off the current operator.

If they decide to move forward as business partners, we will recommend they create clear divisions of responsibilities, determine what decisions they should make together, and, after six months, decide if they are happy and thriving together as business partners or if this is negatively affecting the wonderful relationship they currently have.

My parents were business partners, and were able to make it work. My mother was an accountant and superbly handled every aspect of the financial side of the business. My father oversaw the operational side. Each had a total domain of their side of the business. My mother never cleaned a garment, and my father never handled the money.

They made the decisions together when it came to making the decisions around growing the business, including:

• opening up their first dry-cleaning plant,
• expanding the number of locations
• purchasing properties
• starting additional operations by appealing to different demographics with new names and branding.

While my dad was always the marketer and pushed for growth, my mom was far more conservative and a reluctant risk-taker. I do not recall them ever arguing or criticizing one another. The business did not hurt their marriage; the marriage, parenting, and business partnership were all intertwined.

My first wife and I started a seasonal business together, and there were many similarities in our styles to those of my parents. She was cautious, and I was a risk-taker focused on ways to grow. When we went to the market to buy for our store, if I saw a new item I liked, I’d want to order a dozen, and she would say let’s start with two.

Whenever I had my next idea du jour, I would pitch it to her, and she always asked questions that led to improving the concept. Then, we would implement it.

What I didn’t know until we separated and took counseling sessions was that she didn’t always like the ideas and was stuck with additional work to implement them. I was stunned to learn this, and she said, “I went along because I ran out of words.” Her resentment manifested itself in our personal relationship and destroyed our intimacy. I was clueless.

Moe and I have been in business together since we were married. Our challenges as business partners spill over into our personal relationships.

The good news is that because we are both strong-willed, we say what’s on our minds. On the coaching and facilitating side, we can provide a dynamic that makes our offering far more valuable to our clients.

At Moe's encouragement we began seeing a relationship coach at the beginning of our relationship and were so effected by the experience we went on to become certified Conscious Loving coaches via The Hendricks Institute ourselves. It has given us invaluable tools to manage conflict and deal with drama.

We are still struggling to find a harmonious balance on the core business operations-side. It’s not easy.

Many clients we’ve coached started their businesses with their spouses and discovered that it’s better for the marriage and the business if one leaves the business.

In many businesses, we’ve seen one partner outshine the other, which can create a resentful partner. Or one partner sees a problem in every solution.

Making a marriage AND business partnership work requires a combination of commitment to the relationship, proactive communication, a clear understanding of roles and responsibilities, and respect and appreciation for what each partner brings to the business.

And so much more.

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