The Art of Listening

I have a sobering question for you:

When is the last time you felt someone truly listened to you?

I'm not talking about shallow listening where the person just can't wait to respond or giving listening "signals" so that you think you're being listened to...

I'm talking about the type of conversation where you can almost hear the other person listening. It's extraordinary.

The sad part is that most people have to think far too hard to remember the last time someone truly listened to them. But true listening is the most persuasive thing you can do to help someone.

People are always looking for the next shortcut to being persuasive or "convincing" others to do something. But the only real persuasive shortcut is to develop your listening skills.

That's because customers don't do business with the best companies (sadly). They do business with the companies with whom they have the clearest mutual understanding.

The thing customers hate the most about talking to customer service is having to repeat themselves...

It's the feeling that the person, even the company, is simply not listening.

Simon Sinek says "Listening is not the act of hearing the words spoken, it's the art of understanding the meaning behind those words. When people say 'you're not listening to me' and we parrot back the words they said... congratulations, your ears work... I don't want to know that you heard the words, I want to feel heard."

If you want a customer to connect with you, you have to listen first. And listen completely. Invite the customer to tell you everything about their situation:

• What's going on?
• How long has it been like this?
• What do you want things to be like?
• What's missing for you?
• What's the real problem here?
• When did this start?
• How's this affecting your schedule today?

Too many companies try jumping into transactions first. In HVAC, many customers call in with vexing problems, and they want the customer service rep to care about how the problem is affecting their life. But instead, most customer service people start those calls with "ok, what's your address?"

Just like that, a perfectly good opportunity to connect with the customer goes out the window!

If you listen to your customers, you need to know that you might be the only person that customer has a real connection with all day. You might be the only person who took the opportunity to slow down, ask questions, and be present in their life.

That's the opportunity in front of us. Let's listen.