The Art of Listening & Why We All Suck At It
Sometimes we all need a truth serum moment. We need to step away from the ideals and what we should be and just get down to the brass tacks of who we are an how we operate. There's a ton of content surrounding listening with my three personal favorite that I found here in LinkedIn being:
- 7 Steps to Prove That You Are Listening by Fred Kofman
- 7 Reasons People Aren’t Listening to You by Deepak Chopra
- How to Be a Chief Listening Officer by John Ryan
Yet here's the truth serum on listening -- We all suck at it.
Some are better than others and some are just terrible all the time at listening. Yet, every single one of us have moments in time that we just aren't holding up our end of the listening bargain. So what is it that makes us all so terrible at listening? Two things:
- We Don't Care or Give a Damn
- It's hard -- Takes Real Effort
So what do we do instead? We try to compensate. We try to act like we're physically listening when in reality, we're not 100% present. We're so asphyxiated on our phones that health issues like 'Text Claw', Forward Head Posture, Dorsocervical Fat Pad and Phantom Vibration Syndrome are all becoming more prevalent.
Here's the truth serum on listening -- We all suck at it.
If we all admit that, at times, we suck at listening, what can we possibly do to improve? Two things:
- Be Authentic -- Care or Don't
- Be Present in The Moment
Too often we make excuses or justifications for why we're not being good listeners or why we need to have our attention split. No one forces you to do anything. You're in control of your destiny and of your own domain. Don't be a sheep and don't try to pass blame or ownership just because it's uncomfortable. If you can't 100% give you attention, don't. If you choose to, then put the damn cell phone away. After all, no post is ever worth a life:
Finally, do yourself a favor and be present in the moment. There's several different examples that you can refer to for helping you to be present. However, the technique I use is simple:
If you're with someone else, don't look at or use your phone until your time with them is complete.
Unless it's a family emergency, and you should definitely make a plan with your loved ones for if it is, then there's really no reason you can't return that phone call, answer that text or like that post later. You never know what you might miss by not being in the moment:
To hear this entire episode, please visit The Art of Listening on Pause. Think. Consider. where you can download and listen.
About The Author
Jesse Liebman is the creator of the podcast project Pause. Think. Consider. You can connect with him on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and Instagram.