The Art of Listening First

Do you remember the last time you discussed a problem with your partner, friend, or colleague? Did you start by asking questions, or did you jump straight into offering solutions?

Sometimes, people share their problems not because they want advice, but because they need someone to listen. Other times, they might share their experiences to help us learn. It's important to remember that everyone is on their own journey.

There’s a well-known saying: “Give a person food, and they’ll be happy for a day. Teach them how to find food, and they’ll be satisfied for life.” When someone shares their experiences with us, it’s easy to fall into the trap of offering solutions right away. However, providing solutions without permission often feeds our ego and stops us from truly listening.

What if, instead of rushing to solve the problem, we became curious? Even if we think we know the answer, we could start by asking questions to understand what they’ve already tried. By enabling and empowering others through questions, we help them find their own solutions, which promotes creativity and challenges the status quo.

Rather than immediately jumping to solutions, ask questions like:

• Why did they end up in this situation?
• What information or facts do they have?
• What other possibilities have they considered?
• What does success look like for them?

Starting with questions and keeping solutions as a last resort can be one of the most empowering things you do—for both yourself and others.

What can you do:

• Listen first; offer solutions last.
• Ask open-ended questions to empower others.
• Reflect on the power of curiosity daily.