The Art of Letting Go

First, A Little Context

I am struck with the poignant reality of growing old. It happens far too soon, in my humble opinion. As days and weeks pass, I feel like the circus performer on a trapeze high above the crowd. Approaching the end of the critical pendulum swing, I begin to slow in anticipation of my partner approaching in the opposite pendulum swing ready to receive me. But I don’t see anyone.?

"Where are they?"

"What do I do if they never show up?"

I take a glance down. Nope, no safety net in place ready to soften the fall.

What if there isn’t anything to which I can attach myself? What if the bulk of the story of my life has been written and all that remains are the obligatory acknowledgements and inane glossary? There’s got to be more, right?

One of my current mentors, Arthur C. Brooks, has enlightened me recently. I read in his book, From Strength To Strength some encouraging words that ring true for me. I’d like to share a few of his thoughts as I dangle on the trapeze waiting for my trapeze teammate to appear, if I may…

Two Intelligences

Brooks cites author Raymond B. Cattell who said that there were two types of intelligence that we all possess but at greater abundance at different points in life.

1. The first is?fluid intelligence, which is the ability to reason, think flexibly, and solve novel problems. It’s been known as “raw smarts.” Researchers find that it is associated with both reading and mathematical ability. Innovators have a lot of fluid intelligence. Cattell observed that this intelligence was highest relatively early in adulthood and diminished rapidly starting in one’s thirties and forties.
2. Fluid intelligence has a companion. It’s?crystallized intelligence. It is the ability to use a stock of knowledge learned in the past. Imagine possessing a vast library with a massive book collection. Imagine further a librarian wandering around knowing where to find a book, even if it takes him a while.

Crystallized intelligence, relying as it does on a stock of knowledge, tends to increase with age through one’s forties, fifties, and sixties - and does not diminish until quite late in life, if at all.

Cattell put it this way:

“Fluid intelligence is conceptualized as the decontextualized ability to solve abstract problems, while crystallized intelligence represents a person’s knowledge gained during life by acculturation and learning.”

Put another way,

"When you are young, you have raw smarts; when you are old, you have wisdom. When you are young, you can generate lots of facts; when you are old, you know what they mean and how to use them."

Two Success Curves

The success curve (growing in early life and peaking around 30-40, then declining) is the fluid intelligence curve. Meanwhile there is another curve coming behind it - the crystallized intelligence curve (increasing through middle and late adulthood. The following image is from Brooks’ work:

My Thoughts

So, if I have this correct, I’m experiencing the end of one curve while another has been forming and is ready to receive my tired 58-year-old mind.

Could this be my trapeze partner?

Brooks is advising me that if my career relies solely on fluid intelligence, it’s true that I will peak and decline pretty early. But if my career requires crystallized intelligence (or if I can repurpose my professional life to rely more on crystallized intelligence) my peak will come later but my decline will happen much, much later, if ever.

Perhaps that’s the jump I must make from one pendulum swing to the next - a hopeful thought as I am reminded, I have no net below to catch me.

Three Things About Old Age

BC Roman statesman, lawyer, scholar, and philosopher Marcus Tullius Cicero, believed three things about older age.

1. Old age should be dedicated to?service, not goofing off.
2. Our greatest gift later in life is?wisdom, in which learning and thought create a worldview that can enrich others.
3. Our natural ability at this point is?counsel; mentoring, advising, and teach others, in a way that does not amass worldly rewards of money, power, or prestige.

The Jump

As I experience this decline in fluid intelligence, I have options.

I can fight it. If I fight it, it’s like I’m trying to bend the old curve instead of getting onto the new one. It’s impossible to bend, which will only make me frustrated and unsuccessful.

Or I can embrace it.

Why would I try, over and over again to try and bend the fluid curve?

Two possible reasons:

1. I’m not really aware that my first curve naturally bends down and thus I think there’s something wrong with me.
2. I don’t know that another curve exists that will take me to a new kind of success.

It’s difficult to let go of what has become so familiar. It’s hard to imagine a new curve ahead. All my identity and worth has been shaped by my fluid intelligence. Why would I let go - especially when there’s no safety net?

Providence

• I’m reminded of the fortunate, yet extremely difficult, turn of events my life has taken me the past seven years since the loss of my career and family’s business. It has led me to begin rubbing shoulders with people my age who are, themselves, heading to the end of their respective pendulum swings looking for their trapeze partner to catch them.
• I am fortunate to have a group of beta members who are traveling with me as we map out a community of “trapeze artists” and help them discover their next move.
• I am fortunate that someone mentioned Arthur C. Brooks’ book which has been so helpful to open up my mind to what’s happening to me and in me. I have more to read and discover, which I intend to do with my beta members.
• I am fortunate to have a support network; a group of people cheering me on from the stands. I can hear them in my ears as the wind rushes past as I swing high in the air.
• I am fortunate to have been schooled and nurtured in the way of Jesus Christ from an early age. I messed it up on my own with too much religion and structure. But I am fortunate that my mistakes were tolerated with overwhelming grace by a God who cares about me. The turn of events led me to leave my beliefs in a huff. But I have returned with renewed appreciation for the grandness of my God’s nature.

What’s Next?

So, I feel better knowing some of what’s happening in me. Now I have work to do. There is another curve to jump onto; another trapeze line to grab ahold of. It will take courage and strength. I can do it because I’m fortunate.

But still, there's no net below to catch me... here goes...

Thanks for reading this issue. I truly appreciate it and wish you all the best as you navigate your GenX life!

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