The Art of Letting Go

We are in an increased state of worrying. Will I meet my goals this year? What will happen in the election? How will I balance my career with spending time with those I love??

It seems that worrying is in the atmosphere right now. My goal this month is to suggest we take a pause, and recognize where that worrying is instructive and leads to action ... and where the worrying is about things outside of our influence and only adds to our anxieties. In other words, the less productive kind of worrying, especially in a work environment. In recent weeks, in the work I do with clients, this worrying is outpacing the good, and folks are carrying the weight of professional responsibilities that don’t belong to them.

I’ve listened as a fundraiser worried about how a new leader will impact their work (and the search process hasn’t even started yet). I’ve heard an advancement professional worry that the event they’re attending, but did not plan, will have the wrong theme and logistics. In these cases and so many others, these individuals are jumping in where they were not asked to, where they have no control, and they are becoming more and more frustrated.

These examples aren’t meant to judge the conscientious professionals who do the worrying. Instead, I share them for what they tell us about the toll it takes when we focus on issues outside of our control or influence, or challenges that may or may not come to be.

This tendency can get us “stuck.” Stuck in frustration and anxiety — elements that can lead directly to burnout.

A concept that has always resonated deeply with me is accountability. The idea that each of us should absolutely own what we can: Our behaviors. Our decisions. Our actions.

And we should influence where we can: Share insights and concerns thoughtfully and directly. Have crucial conversations productively.

But accountability also means stepping away, emotionally, from elements we simply do not control. We can provide our feedback, but then we must let go.

I know it’s difficult to see something we would do differently, something that may impact us, and not become emotionally or literally involved. But this is what I’m inviting each of us to do: To not let our joy be robbed by the things outside of our control.

Instead, we should focus on what’s within our realm. We should do that work well. No, it’s not a perfect solution every time. But it will get us so much further away from the downward spiral of constant frustration, and closer to finding joy in our successes. Let’s make what we control the best that it can be. Let’s lead with pride for that work. And then let’s let the rest go.