The Art of Letting Go: Embracing Acceptance, Releasing Anger, and Moving On

The Significance of Letting Go

This is a tough one for me. Well probably for a lot of people. I like to write about personal experiences, and this is a very touchy and recent subject for me. Lots of anger, resentment, and bitterness emerged. Choices were either to move on or to pull out the old bag O’ fun and get real petty. Revenge can be cold and never really solves anything, so why go that route? Sometimes people suck. Plain and simple.?

Trust me I love a good practical joke or vengeful act in fun, but it is not always the right answer. You have to ponder the consequences of how someone affects you and what would happen if you decided to act wrongfully. Does that act of defiance excite you enough to create some kind of relief? Or is it just a short-term answer to a long-term problem? When we are hurt by a person or group of people the initial reaction is typically anger or frustration. In my case, it was those and more. I was honestly dumbfounded by the entire experience. More on that complication to come.?

Let’s talk about letting things go. It is an essential aspect of personal well-being and mental health. The impact of holding onto grievances can lead to emotional distress. By holding onto these grudges it can become debilitating, and it can hinder your growth. In essence, you are causing yourself to be unwell. Those feelings can create hostility, ruin relationships, or affect others around you. Causing all kinds of chaos and moving you further from your goals. If we keep pining over past indiscretions, then we will never learn peace.?

When we can release the anger, resentment, and grudges that come from terrible incidents it can create space for positivity and joy. This process can be difficult and long, but worth it. The faster we can get to a happy medium the better off we will be. I’m not saying that you have to forgive all of these people or situations, because Lord knows I do not want to forgive these idiots that tormented me. I am saying that you do not have to ever interact with them ever again. Sometimes it’s best to remove them from your life completely. Neither party has anything to gain from the other, so what’s the point of even trying to apologize or attempt an amends? I might be in the minority here, or not who knows. I’m just saying what is the point of wasting any more energy on anyone that doesn’t deserve it??

I’d say that is where the rubber meets the road and the overall significance of letting go of something. It’s to stop wasting energy on something or someone who is not going to reciprocate that time and effort.??

Letting People Be Stupid…….

This comes to my next point. Letting people be stupid. If dumb people in your life want to cause havoc and truly hurt you in some way, then just let them be stupid. If they cannot see the value in your friendship, then they do NOT deserve it. I always tend to learn this the hard way. I will go out of my way to help someone in need or make someone laugh when they’re having a bad day. Plenty of times it goes unappreciated. I will still try to break down those barriers and create a better dialogue because that is who I am. If it falls on deaf ears, then I’ve wasted my time. I have to accept that about myself, and that not everyone wants to be saved from their misery. Sometimes people want to stay stuck in their sad existence. This is the case for these gentlemen.?

After these events unfolded and by the time I finally reached the pivotal end a friend told me “It’s time to move on from that chapter”. That’s how I got to the part of embracing the art of letting bygones be bygones . This story was about me being ejected from a house I was living in for a couple of years. It was a journey I took on my recovery, and the house was filled with plenty of characters. People who have been in recovery before know what these recovery houses can be like. They can be filled with criminals, bad actors, or just lazy people. Well, it took a while, but at one point we had a good crew that enjoyed each other and meshed well. We had the longest tenure of residents out of any house around Ohio, and we were the most financially stable and overall a model for other houses. All was well, or so I thought.??

The quick version of this situation is that once I was dismissed from the house for a common infraction they took it upon themselves to get rid of my possessions. I owned up to my mistake and hard time which is what occurred. I had some financial troubles which are commonplace in recovery, and was unable to pay my bills. Not a sin. Merely a tough time. I was removed for this reason alone. What I do not understand is the reason why these residents, who I thought were friends, decided to donate possessions that were not theirs. Overall I lost thousands of dollars worth of clothes, proper kitchen tools (home chef here!), and my beloved shoe collection. These items were tucked away in a garage and did not hurt anyone or in the way. From what I gather they decided amongst themselves to donate these items. Cowardly move. Especially because it was not theirs and it wasn’t taking up space. To me, it seemed like it made them feel better and vindicated for some belief that I had wronged them in some way. When I did nothing of the sort. Now I could go on the offensive and sue them in small claims court, threaten them, pull childish pranks, or just move on. What I was more concerned about was the fact I had deeply personal items stored in there. Photos of family and friends that cannot be recreated, yearbooks, memories, and gifts from loved ones. I believe I got many of those things back, but pretty sure it’s not all of it. Either way, it was an unfortunate situation and I was not the aggressor. These people came after me, and I remained calm. That’s how you deal with stupid people. They’re not friends. They’re just inconsequential travelers you encountered, and you needn’t engage in their shameless behavior.??

Now to this day I still call some of the previous people from the house friends, but it's the ones that have moved on in life and have personal growth characteristics. These guys that remain have not moved an inch and do not plan to grow in any way. This is why I am saying let people be stupid. They are sad little men who will not move on to anything worthwhile and they are not worth my time or energy. They acted in a cowardly manner towards me, and I could try and forgive and forget. In reality, I’d rather just forget.??????

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What’s Next?

The beauty of this situation is that one can choose to move in a positive direction. The strategy behind this is complex and burdensome. It’s all about accepting reality and releasing negative emotions. Trust the process that you can be the adult in the situation, or you can stoop to their level. I’ve done the latter many times. My real friends who know me know that it takes a lot to anger me, but when it happens, WATCH OUT! I come for blood and aim for the jugular. You won’t survive that tornado. I think maybe I have calmed down over the years. I don’t angrily drink bourbon and stuff feelings instead I embrace them. If you can figure out a way to sit in your fear, regret, and anger but come out on top, then you’ve got a personal growth stew going! I can do this now because I have sought counseling and learned tactics such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). If anyone tells you that counseling or examining your mental health is weak, then they need it more than anyone. I use these tools to deal with the anxiety of life, and trust me they work. In this particular case, I found it more fun to joke about it. I laughed it off and made jokes about sending glitter bombs or setting up fake dating profiles. Some of the jokes went extremely far because my sick sense of humor has no boundaries. I won’t repeat the terrible ones. All I can say is that I am liberated from the burden of ever having to carry those idiots on my back again. A full burden has been lifted. I no longer have to be dragged down by their depression, sadness, or lack of emotional intelligence.???

That’s the ART of Letting Go! There are numerous techniques for releasing anger and resentment to foster emotional liberation. Whether that’s using things like CBT, exercising, or in my case cooking loads of food. There’s always a way to let go. Take your mind out of the gutter and focus on the fact that you are now a free man! When you’re a type A personality with strong leadership ability it’s difficult for people that are introverted and timid to relate. They’ll retreat and possibly retaliate if they feel hurt. They cannot handle someone who has opinions and maybe has a solution to their problems. They’d rather stay depressed and make everyone else around them. Kind of like Eeyore, the beloved character from Winnie The Pooh. I was unfortunate enough to have like 3 or 4 of these Eeyore’s in my life. They took the joy out of everything. Complained constantly and never seemed to try and improve their situation. That’s when someone can rise above. Leave the dead weight behind and go find people who can relate to their positive message and inspire one another.?

The next thing is to keep searching for your success and happiness. If you become the person you strive to be while they get left behind, then you win.??

Science: Positive Impact of Releasing Anger

What’s the impact of being able to let go of these people and problems? You get to release the anger and have a positive impact on your life. Holding on to these grudges can be detrimental to your health and mental stability. Stewing on the past and wanting revenge makes you no better than the people who hurt you. You become a shell of yourself and you lose the ability to think clearly. All while adding more stress to your life.??

If we release this anger it can have a profound impact on our physical health and mental well-being. When we get angry we tense up, our blood pressure rises, we lose focus, or our thoughts race. If we continue to engage in poor behavior it does nothing for us. We end up bringing it to work or current relationships, and all that does is ruin your current status quo.?

That’s why it is so important to move forward. That tension goes away and we can start to create healthy boundaries around how we communicate with others. Let’s just say these things can be a learning experience. I myself learned that you can be grateful for the positive aspects that came out of my experience over the years I resided within those walls. I met some cool people. I helped a lot of folks along in their journey, so why would I ruin those positive memories with anger over the actions of a few bad apples? As my buddy Allen says, Karma is a bitch, and it’s coming for them. I couldn’t agree more. They will hold resentment against me for a long time and continue to stay in their horrible thoughts while I move on to the next thing. I’ve already seen this in action.?

Literally, the next day after I had collected what possessions that were left in that garage I received a promotion at work. Don’t get me wrong, my anxiety the day before was through the roof and it was debilitating, but as soon as it was over this sigh of relief came. I no longer had to worry about these dumbasses. All the positivity and good I put out into the world continued to come back my way. The promotion was only one good thing. I was also able to land some other consulting business, I rekindled a friendship that was floundering and I’m pretty sure I lost at least one pound. Do good things. Good things happen. Don’t be the guy below!?

Achieving Balance: Finding Harmony?

Balance can be achieved and finding harmony should be the goal. Taoism is a wonderful resource for these types of concepts. Take a look. There are plenty of lessons within the teachings of Tao Te Ching, but I love the concept of “seeing the simplicity in the complicated”. We run into problem situations throughout life, but being able to find the simple answer to complicated questions or disruptions in the force is an art form. The path of non-action or wu-wei is a simple non-lethal way to deal with human affairs that seem challenging. That’s the path I chose here. It’s the general desire to not get caught up in other people’s bullshit. The wise and mature person will elevate their achievements while the lazy or incompetent will struggle. This is what I mean by finding balance. In the olden days, we used to just say there were winners and losers. I may have lost and won at the same time. I’m a gambling man and I’d say my winnings are far greater than theirs.???

Enough philosophy. I know that’s why you read my newsletter for it’s my views on Eastern religion. Achieving this level of emotional maturity is difficult and there’s no way I am even close to being that grown up. At the very least I can say that I have created balance. This allows me to live a meaningful life and to continually help others. I can move with purpose and with a little bit of style and grace just like Big Poppa.?

Thought you’d finish this without a '90s rap lyric reference you are sadly mistaken! Keep moving forward and don’t hold grudges. It doesn’t solve anything and makes you lose your place in the world. Stay engaged and elevate your company.?

Boomshakalaka!?

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