The Art of Letting Go

I've been spending a lot of time recently thinking about it, and came to the conclusion that a lot of our problems as human beings, both in professional and personal lives, come from being stuck in a particular mindset. A mindset where we insist on being reciprocally understood, on making sure the other person 'gets us', is on the same wavelength as us, is on the same level as we are, and all.

But you know what? That's one of the things that keeps on consistently worrying us and limiting us in a huge capacity.

If you're trying to get a Client and they seem to come from a different place than you do, if they have different values, if they don't understand where you're coming from, don't have mutual goals with you, have an entirely different perspective on things, a completely different workflow - let them go.

If you're trying to become Friends with someone, but you just 'don't seem to click', the other person is giving strange signs to you and leaving weird vibes sprinkled all across your conversations and interactions, leaving you perplexed, confused, doubting their friendliness and good intentions - let them go.

If somebody misunderstands you, you have a disagreement - explain yourself, lay down where you're coming from, try make things right by all means. If the other person (or people) still insist in being stuck in *their own*, negative mindset, blaming you or claiming you're in the wrong, unable to see your side of things and look beyond the tunnel vision of their own viewpoint - let them go.

There's only so much you can do. You can clarify where you're coming from, you can try and assert your good will, lack of malice, your own innocence; you can say what your reasonable arguments are, and share what your feelings are, too.

What you can't do, however, is force someone to tune into your frequency if they come from a different place and different mindset; if they have no will and no intentions to understand you, or just have a personality filled with negativity that doesn't really gel with yours. Some people are just like that, they like seeing problems - not solutions, they like having someone to blame everything on, they thrive on negativity just like you, dear Reader, might be thriving on positivity. It's not your or mine job to change them, really, either.

You don't have to work with everyone. You don't have to be friends with everyone. Focus on yourself. Channel your energy, time, effort, into things that give you some sort of a return and satisfaction and that keep you happy.

There's plenty of fish in the sea - both in professional and personal terms. As the clichéed saying goes: 'It takes two to tango'. Effective and efficient communication, coming to an agreement, mutual cooperation or cohabitation is a collaborative and bilateral effort. Sometimes it just does not happen - and there's nothing wrong with it, and nothing wrong with just moving on and focusing on what's important. The other person doesn't even necessarily have to be 'in the wrong' - they can just be 'different'.

Once you realise that, and that there *always* is somewhere else to go to, someone else to talk to, something else to focus on and someone else to work with - you'll realise how extremely and utterly liberating that can be.

Value yourself. Value your time. Value those who value you and deserve being valued by you.

The rest? Respect them, don't get in their way, don't make their lives harder - that's pointless and waste of energy, also leaving bad taste and sour feelings. Nobody needs that. Maybe thank the other person for their time, wish them a nice day if you're inclined to do so. Move on, and think twice about investing time and effort in those who don't really have time of the day - or space of their mind, soul and heart - for you.