The Art Of Gratitude

During the course of 2020 I reached out to Josh O'Cock because I had a problem I needed to try and solve; I wanted to get word out there that even though we were in the middle of a pandemic, we were still there to help.

True to his nature, he jumped on this idea and got his business partner at Growth Gurus , Alex Thomson Mizzi involved too. What ensued were a series of online discussions on how coaching can assist leaders deal with what was an unprecedented situation. One of our videos hit the 40K impressions mark; something I had never witnessed. More importantly for me was the huge mutual trust and respect we were building.

While the online live discussions stopped after a couple of months, the work we did together continued in the background on a weekly basis. We would meet individually and collectively. We would chat via messaging and call each other when we had a moment of revelation or contrariwise, when we needed more support.

Coaching

The role of a coach is to be a vehicle of growth for those they work with. Our method is to expose what others may not be able to see or recognise. Our intent is to allow for a better understanding of a person's self-limiting beliefs. Our purpose is to transform these self-limiting beliefs into a learning experience from which to know ourselves better, an opportunity to grow and do something new, and a gift to spread and share with others.

For me it is a labour of meaning in life. I do not want to use cliches (or I will try to limit them as much as possible), but coaching is a way of life. It requires effort while being effortless. Ensuring that my skill sets are what are required, is a constant process of learning and unlearning. The motivation to do this day in, day out is effortless though.

Does it mean it never gets tough? Of course it does. And more often that one may think. The difference is that what is tough is trying to accept that sometimes you cannot be everything to everyone.

The coach that says they have all the answers is kidding themself. The coach that recognises they cannot know everything, opens up to the possibility of developing new skill sets that can help those they serve better.

Is it completely self-less? No, of course not. Nothing is.

Purpose

I learnt this in the middle of Kolkata. I was volunteering and during a mid-morning chai break struck up a conversation with a fellow volunteer who asked me a poignant question: Why do we do this? The question was followed by a clarification; "Why do we come here for a period of time, build hope, and then leave them behind in the same state they were when we got here?"

I was silenced by this. I had never thought of it.

I was told it was because we were being selfish. That the reason we were there was to help ourselves and not really those we tended to.

It was a sucker punch. And I was in complete denial

I thought I was completely and totally self-less in my intentions and endeavours. I was not.

I read at a later stage that in order to be able to help others, one has to help oneself. I thought it was hypocritical. Then we added the element of purpose.

Purpose has the power to change things, for better or worse of course.

Sticking to the better purpose, I had to quickly realise that in order for me to do better, I had to be better. And even if I was not going to change the world, at least I could change the world (as they know it) for one person, one day, one instance at a time.

It is not for self-gratitude we do what we do as a coach. It is for self-growth, through which we contribute to the growth of others.

We start off with our family and friends, our colleagues, business partners, clients, stakeholders and community. It all needs to be aligned.

If you chose to be better, then you need to do so across the board.

Responsibility of Power

In Spiderman (with Tobey Maguire's first instalment as Peter Parker), there is this one line spoken by uncle Ben just before he dies, that reminds us of this obligation. As Uncle Ben lies bloodied on the pavement, he turns to Peter Parker and tells him "with great power comes great responsibility". It is a caution of sorts to remind his nephew that once he takes on a role, its his for life.

I find that line so compelling to what we do daily. And I'm not just talking about me as a coach, but as us as individuals and participants in society.

We have each got great power in being voting citizens, and with that comes great responsibility. We each have great power in being parents, with which comes a lifetime of responsibility. We each have great power with the words we use, so we should use them wisely.

Unfortunately we are quicker to chastise than to praise, which is a big loss of the great power we have. Yet with something so simple we can help change the views, motivations, and behaviours of so many around us.

The Art of Gratitude

In January 2021, Josh O'Cock , took hold of that great power and that great responsibility. He knocked on my door and told me "Thank You!" He also presented me with two things; A letter and a print.

The letter opens by saying:

"Thank you for your guidance and for helping us upgrade Growth Gurus into a stronger business and both of us into wiser business leaders. We truly appreciate you and would like to give you a special gift that is close to our hearts - a gift of giving."

The gift was a print of a painting called Ati Hearts: Nutrition (see cover image) and through the gift, 6 months of nutrition is funded for a child in need. Two goals with one gift. Splendid!

Every time I feel a little down in the dumps, I look at my wall and think of the gift, what I can learn from that moment, and what opportunity I have in front of me to use my down-in-the-dumps-moment to create something new which can be a gift for others.

Give the Gift of Gratitude with FIRE

When I am down in the dumps, I seek FIRE; an ethos built on 4 key elements developed by us at #UPLtd.

FLOW + IMPACT + RESPONSIBILITY + EXCELLENCE

Each contribute to nourish mental fortitude, leave lasting impact, define roles and responsibilities, and chart a path of continuous improvement.

I remember telling my colleague Daphne that when I am not living up to my values or purpose, I go exactly to my values to ensure my FIRE is always alight.

Get in touch with us on [email protected] if you want to light your #FIREethos and give the gift of gratitude to your business.