The Art of Giving Feedback: It’s All About the Dance ????

I was surprised to receive many responses to my last newsletter, which was about the importance of not mixing up critical feedback with an assessment of one's personal worth.

The messages I got centred around "how do I give feedback effectively?"

So, I dedicate this post to Joel, who has repeatedly reminded me that I need to post about this. So here it goes, Joel!

I see feedback as essential for growth, improvement, and innovation.

But there’s a fine line between feedback that helps people thrive and feedback that leaves them feeling defeated. Giving feedback is like performing a delicate dance – it's not just about what you say, but "how" you say it.

Here are a few steps to master the dance of delivering feedback effectively:

1. Start with connection ??

Just like dancing, feedback works best when there’s a mutual connection and trust. Establishing a rapport with the person you’re giving feedback to allows the conversation to feel less critical, and more of a collaborative growth opportunity instead.

2. Set the rhythm with positivity ??

Begin with positive affirmations. When you start with what someone is doing well, it sets a rhythm of acknowledgement, awareness and openness. People are more receptive to hearing constructive feedback when they feel their efforts are acknowledged.

3. Move into constructive feedback gracefully ??

This is where you ease into the ‘corrections.’ Always use language that delivers the feedback as an opportunity for learning rather than a reprimand. Like transitioning smoothly from one dance step to another, introducing areas for improvement in a way that feels natural to the conversation is best. Always make sure you are specific with your feedback and draw on examples where appropriate.

4. Adapt your steps to the situation ??

Every person has their own pace and style, so be prepared to adapt your feedback approach based on the individual. Some may prefer directness, while others respond better to a more nuanced approach. It’s all about reading the room (or the dance floor) and adjusting accordingly.

5. End with encouragement ??

The final step in this feedback dance is just as important as the first: end on a positive note. Encourage further effort and growth. This reinforces that feedback is part of an ongoing dance of development, not a one-time performance critique.

Feedback isn’t a solo act; it’s a partnership that, when done right, allows both parties to grow and move forward together.

"Feedback is not about judgement. It’s about improvement."?– Unknown

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