The art of falling forward

Falling forward can sometimes be just a little wake-up call and other times it's a tongue biting, teeth crunching, chin bruiser but you've got a few options of how to handle it. The first option is where you just stay there on the ground, make no movement and die. The dying part is a perhaps a bit dramatic but stay with me. Our second option would be allowing someone to help you up. They saw you fall, they felt empathy because they've fallen before and don't want you to either be embarrassed or hurt (ego or otherwise). Third option is to just dust yourself off and stand back on your own knowing that it may not be the last fall.

I've fallen so many times I feel like there should be bumpers around me.

I've fallen so many times I feel like there should be bumpers around me. With these simple rules I've been fortunate enough to get back up. I'll elaborate on methods of how to keep falling forward below and by all means choose anything but option one, we have enough obstructions on the sidewalk.

Reject Rejection: Achievers who persevere do not base their self-worth on their performance. On the contrary, they have a healthy self-image that's not dictated by external events. When they fall short, rather than labeling themselves a failure, they learn from mistakes in their judgment or behavior.

Don't Point Fingers: When people fail, they're often tempted to blame others for their lack of success. By pointing fingers, they sink into a victim mentality and cede their fate to outsiders. When playing the blame game, people rob themselves of learning from their failures and alienate others by refusing to take responsibility for mistakes.

See Failure as Temporary: People who personalize failure see a problem as a hole they're permanently stuck in, whereas achievers see any predicament as temporary. One mindset wallows in failure, the other looks forward to success. By putting mistakes into perspective, achievers are able to see failure as a momentary event, not a symptom of a lifelong epidemic.

Set Realistic Expectations: Unrealistic goals doom people to failure. For instance, if a person hasn't exercised for five years, then making it to a gym twice a week may be a better goal than running in next month's marathon. Also, some people insensibly expect to be perfect. Everyone fails, so expect setbacks and emotionally prepare to deal with them. 

Focus on Strengths: Don't invest time shoring up non-character flaws at the exclusion of investing in your strengths. People operating from a position of strength enjoy a far lower rate of failure than those laboring in areas of weakness. You're built to give your talents to the world; be diligent about finding expressions for them in your career. 

Vary Approaches to Achievement:  In the Psychology of Achievement, Brian Tracy writes about four millionaires who made their fortunes by age 35. On average, these achievers were involved in 17 businesses before they finding the one that took them to the top. They kept trying and changing until they found something that worked.

Bounce Back: Rehashing missteps and blunders for too long sabotages concentration and eats away at self-confidence. When dealing with failure, achievers have short memories. They quickly forget the negative emotions of setbacks and press forward resiliently. While taking pause to learn from failures, achievers realize that the past cannot be altered.

Failure, like death and taxes, will happen. Your response to failure holds the key to your future.

I truly believe it's nearly impossible for any person to believe he or she is a failure and move forward at the same time. For those who have been downsized, let go, or bankrupted, the temptation may be to internalize failure. My hope is that anyone who has suffered setbacks recently will be able to separate life's unfortunate events from their self-worth. Failure, like death and taxes, will happen. Your response to failure holds the key to your future.