The Art of Faking It
There will always be a time when we are faced with hurdles that feel like the entire world. Too many times, this came to me in the form of an expectant crowd and the uncomfortable chill that runs down my spine whenever a microphone is shoved in front of my face.
For some, talking in front of people you barely know isn’t really much of a big deal. In fact, a lot of people enjoy talking. But for someone like me, talking in front of people is a massive hurdle I have to overcome. I prepare myself by “setting my personality” before the day starts.
It almost feels like a ritual, the way I shed my introverted skin and roll it into a ball, shove it deep into my pockets, and I take on an imaginary cape of much-needed extroversion. On most days, there’s an unpleasant taste of fakeness hanging on my tongue, but I do my best to swallow it, just show up and just wing it.
This “ritual” is my golden ticket to fit into a culture where being an extrovert is an asset – and not only this is my golden ticket, but this is also a very important skill that I had to learn for myself.
“You need to speak up more if you want to have your ideas heard,” my grade school teachers said.
“You have to be enthusiastic. Smile a little more. Learn to talk to people, because you will be doing a lot of that in this job,” my boss said to me on my first day.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate extroverts. On the contrary, I think extroverts are cool, talented people [not that introverts aren’t!]. In fact, there are times that I even enjoy being in my extrovert mode every so often because it somehow makes me feel more confident -- that I can fake it until I make it.
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However, being an introvert and pretending to be an extrovert has a lot of setbacks. It feels like you are living a double life and this can cause setbacks such as meeting me during my “pseudo-extrovert mode” and then getting confused when I shift back into my more authentic self.
Another setback of being an introvert who pretends to be an extrovert is that keeping an extroverted facade is a very, very exhausting job. It takes a lot of energy to carry two versions of you.
Which is why it is very important for me to conduct "social energy budgeting" where I stock, inventory and prioritize which people and circumstances where I allocate my energy. At the end of every day, this social battery will get to low levels, and I take time for myself to nurture my "introvert mode" on. This is very important, because this is where I recharge my social battery. If I fail to do this, I’ll most likely wake up the next day all irritable and grumpy.
While it’s true that fake extroversion can take an introvert a long way, it’s very important to remember that being true to one’s self can make wonders for personal and professional growth – because no matter what sort of light one is in, regardless if it’s a big spotlight or an incandescent bulb, one’s true self will always shine.
By: Ava Arnejo