#001: The Art of Failure

Hello everyone! I am officially starting an indefinite Article series today. I aim to write something thoughtful and insightful every Friday regarding my take on relevant topics. I have discovered that if I formalize a process and create a cadence to get used to, my productivity increases 10-fold.? I wanted to start the series by getting some lingering thoughts out of my head that inspired me to start writing in the first place.

I want to talk about Failure.?

Failing is something that we all experience throughout our entire lives, and we have all failed at least a few times to get where we are now. Failing is a part of learning. However, the concept of “failure” can hold us back from trying new things and getting outside of our comfort zones. In my opinion, the concept of “failing” is one of the most impactful reasons for the lack of progress in society; we fear how others will perceive us when we “fail” at something we try to accomplish. I for one have talked myself out of far too many challenges to count, and sometimes I find myself still wondering, “What if…?” That is why I push myself so hard to grow as an individual and fail as often as possible; failing is what drives me to get up each day. The way I see it, if I failed that means that I tried, and the true “failure” is not even trying at all.

Another reason I was inspired to write about the topic of Failure was after reading, “The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance” by Josh Waitzkin. In this book, Josh discusses his journey through life as a young chess prodigy winning a National Championship, and then in his adult life as a martial arts World Champion. Importantly, he highlights how he learned to learn and applied advanced learning techniques to yield world-class results. The biggest takeaway for me is that complex concepts can be broken down into smaller pieces that are simple, consistent, and form patterns. Essentially, if you learn how to learn, then you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Easier said than done, of course, but as long as you have realistic goals, sometimes it is just that easy.

Failing is by no means easy to deal with. If it were this world would be a lot different, but it is something that we must all learn how to deal with if we want things to change. Here are my personal experiences with the concept of failure, and how I have changed it from my greatest weakness into my greatest strength.

How I struggled with failure.

For the majority of my life, I struggled with failure. I was afraid to fail, I was afraid of how my peers would see me, and I was just afraid in general. Now I understand that I have a bad case of anxiety, but as a young child, it did not make sense. What did make sense was fear, and unfortunately, it was a feeling I was far too familiar with. A lot of minor events like saying “Here.” when my name was called became monolithic tasks that would require hours of stress and overthinking. It was exhausting. Unfortunately, this led to me barely even pushing myself out of my comfort zone trying new things and immersing myself in richer social situations or “hard” tasks. This fear extended into my adult life and became an annoying hindrance that was significantly holding me back. Don’t even get me started on Imposter Syndrom.

How I dealt with failure.

After another year of feeling like a “failure”, I was so tired of it and I had to try to do something. That is an incredibly long story, but what it boiled down to facing my fears, hard work, determination, and professional guidance. The first step was acknowledging that something was wrong and that I wanted to do something about it. The next step was learning how to push myself to fight against that subconscious fear and just try to show up. After just going for it and trying I eventually got used to the fear and learned how to accept situations and practice mindfulness. As always, it is easier said than done, but once you try something once it will only be easier the next time, as long as you keep at it. Additionally, getting small wins here and there was great for maintaining a positive mindset and not getting down if something did not go the way I envisioned. In the end, I attribute my incredible resilience to my ability to overcome the concept of failure and no longer worry.

Failure as an Art.

If you remove the metrics and immediate results, and instead focus on the journey and story you are telling by trying something new. Then look for ways to improve something by making it fail so that you can avoid that mistake next time. See failure as your friend and as something that indicates progress. One of my favorite quotes is from Jake The Dog a character on an animated series called Adventure Time, and he states, “Sucking at something is the first step at being sorta good at something.” The takeaway for me is that if you don’t focus on the results and you focus on your progress and the future, then you will inevitably get better at what you do. If you only compare yourself to yourself and trust your process, then you are guaranteed to improve.

Final thoughts.

Life is hard, achieving dreams is hard, and success is hard. We are all in this together, so let’s not ridicule each other when we see someone not succeeding. Instead, let’s praise each other’s efforts and achievements regardless of results; let’s help each other get better so that we all eventually succeed. It is not just winning and individual accomplishment.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you got something out of this. I am looking forward to keeping this series up for as long as I can, and I am excited to see where it goes!

Here is a link to the book I referenced if you want to check it out for yourself. https://a.co/d/dR073Xa

PS: I don’t use AI to write. ;)