The art of failing

“ Some things are so unexpected that no one is prepared for them” – Leo Rosten

I love colorful chewing gums.

I am not supposed to write this, but I had a piggy bank for my chewing gum expenses.

I worked a whole summer to fill my piggy bank.

I placed this piggybank right next to my bed to remind me about my bold goal. Forget about the other kids who wanted to become astronauts. I had the highest goal. At least I thought so.

While my friends were enjoying the sun, I was daydreaming about chewing gums. I had chewing-gums on my mind, chewing-gums only. It grew into an obsession.

An obsession that followed me as a fly glued to a hot window.

I had difficulties to even think about something not related to chewing gums. My friends thought that I had lost my mind when I told them about my motivation to work. Screw them anyway. They did not know anything about chewing gums. My life is fulfilling and with a clear purpose. I am reaching this goal at any cost.

I did not care. So, I kept working day in and day out.

They are losing out on some serious fun. C’mon, a year supply of checking gums, are they f*cking kidding me, how cool isn’t that? I imagined their envious faces the moment I entered the classroom with unlimited chewing gums. They would not get any chewing gums from me. Losers.

Summer vacation was finally over. It was now time to open my overweight piggybank. I had reached my goal. Victory! I would have enough money to buy myself gum a day for a whole year. The world smiled at me. Things could not get any better. At least I thought so.

I was the first kid to run to the vending machine when the bell ranged.

This vending machine had the best chewing gums on the whole planet earth. I hoped for the red one. The red one tasted like strawberry, my all-time favorite. I had daydreamed about this specific gum. I knew from the previous year that the probability of getting the red one was minimal. This fact did not stop me from keeping trying every single day.

The green fall out. Damn it. The second day, a blue fell out. Arghh! The third day, a yellow. OHHH! I would never give up. So, I continued for the rest of the year.

No red. Not even one. Not even a glimpse of the delicious strawberry red chewing gums. I felt ripped off. Robbed by life. How could they be this cruel to me? What did I do wrong? I had a worked a whole summer.

The vending machine.

"You don’t know anything about life" - I said while kicking it.

Failure.

I was a failure.

I understood from an early age the taste of failure.

It tasted as disgusting as the yellow, green and blue chewing gum.

The story is made up, but the point is, failure do hurt.

Nothing hurt as much as feeling worthless as a result of failing. Trust me. It is the worst feeling imaginary possible.

I never had a chewing gum obsession. But I have spent hundreds upon hundreds of hours working for something that never happened. Holy cow, it feels miserable. The only thing you want to do in these moments is to disappear never to return.

We all have strived for something that remained a dream.

Realising that we are not good enough, do hurt. Does it mean that we will not be good enough forever?

It hurts. The only fact I can state with the fullest of confidence.

Failing an exam, do also hurt. A lot as well. Damn it.

Guess what? We do feel indeed robbed by life when we fail an exam.

I recently got my exams results back. They were far away from my expectations. I failed some of them. I had to swallow my pride. I had to stop for a second to breathe before leaving the planet, never to return. My mind was screaming. The outcome, however, had spoken. I had failed. Nothing more, nothing less.

I had done something wrong. Was I the mistake? Each time this thought passes by I has to remind me that errors are the portals of discovery.

Failure is as significant as sending your bike to the mechanic.

Your bike is not working in the present moment, but it will work again. We stop functioning when we fail. That does not mean that we are broken and destroyed forever.

Failure is a pit stop. A short pit stop.

A pit stop needed for our next move.

Failure is the perfect time to think, write down our mistakes, and fill gas in our tank. Thinking about what we want in life. To further challenge ourselves, and filter what is important, to what is not.

Failure is the noblest filtering system invented. Imagine a big machine. A machine that brings up the best in you. 

Failure is good. Failure is our friend. Failure is the most significant challenge. A challenge to finally display our ideal and desired character of ourselves.

Tell failure this next time.

Hey, failure!

You don’t scare me anymore.

I will overcome you, and you will watch me win.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently” - Henry Ford