The Art of Divorce Mediation: The Importance of Perspective-Taking

Divorce mediation is a delicate process that demands effective communication and negotiation skills. Miscommunication during this emotionally charged phase can lead to impasses and premature breakdowns in negotiations. In particular, the frustration arising from lack of perspective can drive one spouse to prematurely give up on divorce mediation and foreclose on any opportunity to reach a successful divorce settlement.

Perspective-taking by the Divorce Mediator is a crucial negotiation skill that enhances his discovery of joint gains, makes groups more effective, reduces stereotypical thinking, and aids conflict resolution. While some Divorce Mediators are naturally adept at perspective-taking, various scenarios and emotional states can hinder this ability. Time pressure, attention demands, and power dynamics are factors that impede perspective-taking. Strong-minded spouses and/or their lawyers often give less thought to how others view a situation, assuming their perspective is sufficient. Emotions, such as anger and anxiety, can also interfere with making accurate inferences about others' perspectives.

A 2019 study by Jeremy A. Yip and Maurice E. Schweitzer (https://oid.wharton.upenn.edu/profile/yip/#research) revealed that anger significantly impairs perspective-taking. Anger induces a state of high arousal, promoting self-centered thinking and self-interested behavior. Participants induced to feel anger exhibited lower perspective-taking abilities compared to those induced to feel sadness, disgust, or neutrality. Further experiments in the same study showed that recognizing and labeling anger can mitigate its impact on perspective-taking.

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Divorce Mediators who facilitated the spouses’ capacity to label their feelings as angry were as skilled at perspective-taking as those in a neutral state. This suggests that acknowledging anger helps avoid egocentric biases that hinder communication, facilitating creative thinking and mutually beneficial solutions. Whether it's our own anger or the other spouse losing their equilibrium, taking a break and then calmly discussing the tension can foster perspective-taking. This approach by the Divorce Mediator creates an environment conducive to creative problem-solving and paves the way for mutually agreeable solutions.

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In conclusion, effective Divorce Mediation requires a nuanced understanding of perspective-taking and adept management of emotions and adviser relationships. By recognizing the impact of anger, adopting strategies to address it, and maintaining clear communication with lawyers, Divorce Mediators can help spouses navigate miscommunication pitfalls and foster successful negotiations during the challenging process of divorce.

Are You Looking to Avoid the Stress and Cost of Divorce Court?

As a Certified Family Mediator, I bring extensive expertise and training to help families find amicable, cost effective?resolutions. With designations as a Specialist in Parenting Coordination?from The Family Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario and accreditation as a Collaborative Family Lawyer, I am equipped to guide you through the mediation process with compassion and skill. Furthermore, I recently attended Harvard University's Mediation Training Program in Boston, learning from the world's leading experts in mediation.

If you are interested in avoiding Divorce Court and coming to a successful settlement through Family Mediation, then visit the following link https://benmor.com/mediation-more/ and/or contact my Senior Law Clerk Marigona at?416-489-8890?or [email protected] to begin the path to a successful divorce settlement.