The Art of Disagreeing in 2025: Connection Over Conflict

I have worked with some of the world’s biggest brands, including Emirates, Daikin, Standard Chartered, and Unilever, teaching them how to use empathy to navigate complex communications and conflict management.? Here is what I have learned about navigating (or winning?) an argument…

Firstly, let's recognise that we're bound to have disagreements with one another. It’s part of life and it's impossible for a human race as diverse as we are not to disagree. Whether it is in the comments section under this article, in the hallways of Parliament, or at the family dinner table, we cannot escape the human desire to debate. Did you know that 38% of employees in the U.K. experience interpersonal conflict at work in an average year, and that 85% of global employees experience conflict at work? Those are big amounts of people facing big debates, really often.

So, whether it's a heated discussion with a loved one or a complex conversation with a colleague, being able to navigate a productive argument is a lifelong skill. I have found that most people are pretty comfortable with this conceptually, but where it gets less easy for people is recognising how to navigate these conversations without getting upset or, feeling overwhelmed with the need to always be right.?

So, what are the best ways to win an argument while keeping a level head? Here are my top 8 tips, from the very top, of the world’s biggest businesses:

Don’t Run Away

Conflict must be solved, for the simple reason that when it is avoided, it increases. Don’t let tension simmer because the longer you leave it the hotter it becomes. Name the problem and then ask the other person to be open to discussing it, before the argument becomes far bigger than the initial issue was in the first place.

Go Wide

Start by really understanding what’s behind the opinions you are debating. The conversation at hand is very rarely the full picture and the frustration from the other party is nearly always being fueled by something far wider than the active discussion. Use your empathy before you act – seek to understand before you speak. It may be convenient to ask people to “focus on the facts” and not “your feelings” but neurologically this is utterly impossible because the brain is already responding to emotion by the time you have begun to debate. It’s just how the human brain works – we are emotional beings. So yes, focus on the facts but even more so, focus on the feelings. Acknowledge how the other person is feeling or reacting, name it and recognise it. In so doing you have immediately made the first small step to resolution. After all, the choice, by the other person, to eventually see your opinion will require an appeal to feelings and emotions because that’s how we humans make decisions 80% of the time. If you try to win on logic alone, you are failing before you begin.?

Listen Up

Listening is the backbone of all empathy, and empathy helps us navigate conversations. To fast-track a debate you must be able to hear your opponent. This doesn't mean that you have to agree with them, or even like it, but that you do need to recognise their viewpoint and give them a space to express it. When we approach an argument with a closed mind, it becomes a battle of egos rather than anything that resembles progressive. Listen more than you speak. You will find that by letting the other person speak their mind they find a sense of value that takes the heat out of the conversation. Either way, the 101 of argument management is to listen.

Shift Denial to Data

When you are with someone who is on a denial train and cannot get off, there’s a great way to reframe this. Let them finish, acknowledge what they have said, and then ask them “What is a different perspective on that?” or “How do you think that could be seen differently?” These questions will encourage them to access their subconscious and in doing so it will help reset the argument and access different content that changes the conversation. Another great tip in this area is for when someone keeps saying “I don’t know!” and shutting the conversation down. Next time your colleague, or kids, tell you “I don’t know” ask them “But if you did know, what do you think the answer might be?” This is a skill from executive coaching and by accessing the subconscious it does great things to get people to open up, reassess, and engage in a new way.

Summarising Superpowers

Summarise what you hear from the other person. This does two things. Firstly, it ensures you did actually hear what they wanted you to hear (and not what you were thinking in your head) but secondly, it shows the other person that they are being ‘heard’ and this is a powerful technique in recreating connection. When people feel heard and that their opinion is valued, we see the nervous system calm and the aggression reduced. For all parties to be recognised is the first step in working towards alignment.

Keep Calm And Find Your Composure

This can be challenging, especially if the argument is personal or triggers an emotional response. However, getting upset will only cloud your ability to present your arguments clearly and rationally. When we allow ourselves to become triggered with heightened emotions the brain functions differently as we enter a ‘risk state’ and a whole different set of hormones start to fire around our body. Have you ever said something in the heat of the moment that you neither meant nor planned to say? That’s the ‘fight’ state that your body is working under, and your brain doesn’t work well when you are in it. Instead, take a moment to use your self-empathy, reflect on how you are feeling, take a few deep breaths, and collect your thoughts. This will calm you and your nervous system. Not only will you feel better, but you can think, and debate, better too.?

Reframe Your Argument

Language matters, massively. It entirely changes how people respond to your opinion or feedback. Avoid phrases that pass judgment or diminish the other person’s opinion, like “That's a terrible idea" or “How can you even think that?” and reframe your arguments in a more positive and open way. For example, you might say "I understand where you're coming from, but I have a different perspective" or "That's one perspective, can I share another one?"?

Be Comfortable with Silence

Finally, silence is a superpower and so few of us use it effectively. I remember being told many years ago that the “true sign of a leader is to be comfortable with silence” but I didn’t understand it fully at the time. Today I see this as the highest form of sophistication in a debate. Hold silence and the other person will step in. Silence creates the space for someone to share more deeply or with more information. The silence creates insight, but it takes confidence to execute it. And no, I am not talking about passively aggressively closing down endlessly, but simply being comfortable to not immediately jump in the second someone stops talking. Try it out, even with kids, this is superbly impactful.

Arguing tends to get a bad name and it’s blamed for everything from political polarisation to role resignations and marital breakdown, but it doesn’t have to be. The act of arguing is a daily occurrence, and the secret is to shift it from a damaging meltdown to a well-managed match. To empathise with another is a skillset. You can fight to win but, in the end, the real score will be how quickly you resolve and move on as a team.?

For more insights on how the skillset of empathy can help you at work and home please visit www.empathyeverywhere.co or follow Mimi Nicklin - Empathy Advocate and Empathy Everywhere on LinkedIn, Mimi at @miminicklin on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok. Tune in to her top storytelling podcast via @mimiyouyoushow on Instagram or wherever you listen to your podcasts to hear the honest and truly inspiring stories of diverse individuals from around the world.