The Art of The Deal

 I bought my first car in 1964 and took my uncle Walter along. It was at a used car lot in Richmond Va. owned by a man named “Dapper Dan”, who had a big sign posted that said: “I’d Give The Cars Away But My Wife Won’t Let Me.” First, we visited the lot during closing hours to look over the inventory and I saw a used 1956 Plymouth that I liked for $1,200. Walter sent his cleaning lady there first to make a low-ball offer on the car, to mess with Damper Dan’s head. She offered him $700, which he refused, but then she walked out without making a counter, which made him wonder. The next morning Walter sent in a mechanic friend who pointed out all the things wrong with the car, and made an offer of only $400; claiming the pistons would have to be replaced within a month and cost $800; but Dan didn’t blink and said no. To swing the deal our way, the night before we went to actually buy the car, Walter and I drove over to the dealership, and he poured some oil on the asphalt under the engine block. “What’s that for”, I asked? “To out-dapper the Dan”, he replied. The next day we walked around the lot and stopped at the Plymouth and milled around. Dapper Dan came out of the dealership door smiling and said”, “Whatcha looking for guys? I can make you a great deal on that blue Plymouth you are standing next to: It was owned by an 80-year- old lady who kept it in the garage most of the time, and only drove it to church on Sunday. Her eyesight went bad and she had to let it go“. Walter replied: “Well Mr. Dan, the kid sure likes this car.” Then he turned his back on me and whispered to Dapper Dan, “the boy’s mother died a year ago, and his dad has cancer and can’t work. If he doesn’t keep up his paper route, he can’t stay in school. All he’s got is six hundred and thirty-seven dollars, and I’m on social security and can’t help or I sure would. besides, I think the car is leaking oil.” Startled, the Dan looked under the front end and saw the puddle. Red-faced and with visions of being piston-poor, he blurted: “I swear my mechanic checked it out and the engine was clean; you have my double-D guarantee on that.” Looking skeptical, Walter replied: “Well, I’d be willing to take a chance on it if you will take $637 and throw in five free oil changes for the kid…………..maybe you could call your wife and see if she will let you do the deal.” Dapper nodded and walked off so quickly to the office that his hat fell off. Now we both knew that he didn’t call his wife, and why Dapper Dan took our offer, but he didn’t know that he had been had by the master, my uncle Walter. And, as we drove away in the car, Walter said: “let that be a lesson to you son, always leave a sucker thinking that you were the sucker: you might need him again one day.” I never forgot that advice and it has saved me thousands of dollars in deals over my lifetime, and I made some “dapper” friends along the way. However, they never knew what they didn’t know.