The Art of Conflict Resolution as a Leader

For many years I was a single dad raising three daughters and one son. I will not throw all of my children under the bus but what I can tell you is that the two oldest girls were constantly at odds with one another over who was wearing the others clothing. It may seem innocent enough but at the time this was a big deal. You learn as a parent to not allow unresolved issues linger too long or else a battle royal may ensue later. Being the shepherd of my little flock, it was my job to give each of them their voice, manage my emotions, address the issue, and then level set the house expectations.

As a leader it is inevitable that conflict will arise. Conflict in the workplace is not necessarily a bad thing if it stems from an underlying passion for the work being performed and has not escalated to being a greater concern. However, if the conflict has escalated to a threat or is rooted in other areas such as outside domestic issues then these types of conflicts should definitely be routed elsewhere in the company such as HR or a special investigative team.

For arguments sake, let’s say the conflict is in your house and it involves a disagreement on how a project is being managed. You take note of a tone that comes up on a project call between two co-workers and it sends off a red flag. Sure, you could just chalk it up as both co-workers being passionate and ignore the red flag. The problem with ignoring the red flag is the tone you took note of is just going to continue to manifest and eventually a battle royal may ensue. As a leader it is your responsibility to shepherd and ensure the safety and welfare of those entrusted to you.

The biggest question is how do we manage conflict in a non-biased way and allow our passionate employees to remain motivated. I would first recommend taking a deep breath and pausing for a minute. Giving ourselves time and space to think things through and formulate a plan of discussion. The last thing we want to do is call the co-workers out publicly on the project call. Keep the conversation between only those where we have picked up on a level of tension. Creating a circle of trust means maintaining confidentiality, where possible.

Once we have given some thought to the issue and are ready to have a discussion we should set up some time with the involved co-workers as soon as possible. I say as soon as possible because unresolved tension is not something we want lingering in our living room. Below I have shared a brief outline on how I like to approach confrontation. After reviewing the outline, feel free to critique it and add your own thoughts. The goal of any confrontation is to ensure everyone has been heard and you have a plan moving forward.

• Analyze the problem
• Maintain confidentiality, where possible
• Schedule time to discuss in a timely manner
• Start the discussion with a complimentary statement
• Effectively communicate the specific concern
• Maintain positive personal emotions
• Give each person a voice
• Listen
• Don’t take sides
• Level set the plan moving forward
• Acknowledge their contribution and thank them for their input
• Follow-up with the go forward plan in an email and thank them again

My hope is this will answer the original question of how do we manage conflict in a non-biased way and keep our passionate employees motivated. I am not overly naive to believe it will always be rainbows and butterflies when someone has their mind set on things being done a certain way. However, your job as a leader is to allow that person to be heard and appreciated. It is beyond your control how they respond to not getting their way. As the shepherd, you have cared for them and put the best plan in place for your company by taking a non-biased approach.

Do you feel comfortable sharing any areas that have made you successful in the art of conflict resolution?