Art with confidence

What do you want to talk about today Darnell?

Today I want to talk about being confident. I think far too many of us are afraid to be myself. Maybe I am projecting because I certainly have long battled with myself to be confident.

For example in July 1, 2021 I left the USA for a self administered sabbatical in Mexico. I stayed there for 2 years and in that time I create and published more than 500 songs.

It was one of the most incredible times of my life. I spent my days making music having lunch with my friend (now wife) and walking my dog. Creativity just flowed out if me. One evening after I started making a song at about 10 which turned into a full album by 3 a clock.

I mad a full album with the span of hours. But when I return to New York to take a job I privated all my songs on youtube and changed my artist name.

I simply wasn't comfortable or confident in who I was so I literally hid all of the work that I created.

But this wasnt the first time I did this. You see back in 2011 I started painting and and over the course of 10 years I had amassed a personal collection of about 2000+ paintings that I kept in a storage facility in Harlem on I think 126th and Convent. But after one solo show and a couple years of paying for the storage facility right before I left for Mexico I called 1800 Junk and had all of my painting thrown away.

Actually as the fellas who came to dispose of the decade of my labor A MTA bus driver stopped to take a couple pieces. Shout out to that driver by the way. That pieces is rare now.

And in doing that you validated something that I wasnt able to validate in myself, and that is "my creativity matters". Knowing and believing that matters.

You see years ago I wrote and illustrated a book. I even published the book but after 2 years of sitting on Amazon with no sales except the copies I purchased to give to friends I decided to take it down and yup you guessed it unpublished my 160+ page poetry book.

It's crazy how many times I've done this. But that is exactly why I am writing and sharing. I am strengthening my confidence to share and let live. No more unpublishing or throwing away gifts to the world. after all creativity is best when shared. And when shared it is a gift to the world. It no longer belongs only to the creator.

Lastly before I resign I want to share that it is very interesting how most of my unpublishing relates to money.

My music - Not wanting to get fired. (I got really raunchy shit)

My art - (Paying hundreds on storage fees)

My book - (No sales.)

Gone are the days that I dispose of art. Time to be confident. If this is also you please know that today you can stop playing small. You can be confident. You can be you.

Cheers.