The Art of Not Being Late

See if this matches your experience. It's time for that important meeting - whether it's online or in person. At the top of the hour, there are participants who are present and ready to go, but others have yet to arrive. It's now three minutes or seven minutes past the hour, and someone says, "Well let's go ahead and get started."

Or maybe, in spite of your best efforts, you're the one arriving while others are waiting, or the meeting has already started. You offer your apologies (not that they make any difference), and besides, everyone does this at times.

Perhaps you find yourself stuck, as the group talks and talks in hopes of finding a solution, even thought the time is running out. Or someone decides to bring up an important topic with two minutes left and you feel yourself squirming.

How do we change these patterns? Here are some tips:

• Develop an inner sense of where your energies are at vis-a-vis the clock. All of us have access to accurate time thanks to our ubiquitous phones.
• On that basis, notice what it feels like (not just what you think) when you have a few moments to be on time and recenter before your next engagement, as opposed to the rushed, "feeling behind" feeling.
• Pad your estimate. I used to be late because I had the delusion that I could cram one more thing in before I left the house or hotel room. Now I take my best guess and add fifteen minutes.
• Raise the awareness of the patterns in your organization. Are people okay with chronic lateness? Would the team be willing to implement and sustain new assumptions and agreements without fault and blame?
• Practice the fifty-five minute hour. Back to back sixty minute meetings are a setup for frustration. At the very least we may need a bio break for food or the toilet.
• Seed the ending. Someone - particular those who are facilitating a meeting - can easily say "in our remaining ten minutes, what action items do we want to take so we can end five minutes before the top of the hour?"
• Invest in a greater understanding of group process. I can't tell you how many times I've seen meeting devolve because someone's giving information, but before they've finished someone else starts presenting options. The group has just "jumped categories" but no one has noticed. This also applies to decision ownership - the ways groups make (or don't make) and implement decisions.
• And if you're late, leave the excuses at the door. Just join as best you can.
• Celebrate success. When you're early (which is actually on time), use that as positive personal reinforcement, even if you don't get validation from others.

I view showing up (with about a 98% success rate) as a practice. I also see it as a means of conveying respect to my clients and colleagues.

What steps will you take to improve your ability to fully arrive with quiet integrity?