The Art of being a friend

The Art of being a friend

As a kid I was always thirsty for attention. Growing up in a one child household most of my life. It was my "job" to go out there and make some friends. It was just the personality that was given to me.

I remember moving to Atlanta Georgia as a kid and not knowing anyone. That moment in time when I went for my first walk in the neighborhood is when it all started. The connection to others. This was where I discovered I was going to be a social butterfly / part smart ass. Thank goodness I ended up being a likeable smartass. Well, that depends on who you ask.

My first interaction was with the McGuire's. Still to this day 44 years later I consider them some of my best friends. I was walking up the hill in my hood to do some recon of what sort of trouble I could get into, when I heard a voice say "hey boy, what you doing"? That was the elder, Brian McGuire. He and his younger brothers Chris and Steve were on top of their driveway playing with Star Wars figures. My answer was "I don't have a name". That was the most intelligent thing I could come up with at the time. It was probably a little bit of nerves and a little bit of a lack of experience on engaging with others. In the end it all worked out we had cookies and used firecrackers to blow up our figurines till the dinner bell.

The point of telling you this is that as a child I developed my sense of community and need to be around others. I wanted to engage and have friends and be a friend to them. It is what drove me then and what drives me now. As we all know people come in and out of our lives daily. That is ok. There is nothing to feel good or bad about. It just is what it is. We all have places in each others lives that come and go. I still think about a lot of my elementary school friends that as a kid were so influential to the way I am today. All elements of the past have helped mold who I am today. Although I don't talk to those friends much unless it is a quick view of a Facebook post. I am still very appreciative of our time together and find a way to understand the positive purpose of that time.

Now that I am a 50 year old man. Relationships are different. I am pretty much the person I am now and will be till I leave this dimension. So I value my interactions differently. I always want to be kind, helpful, respectful and resourceful for people. That being said I also know that the rest of my time is limited and I will not be drained of energy or pulled into situations that take away from the beautiful life I have created for my work and family. For me a friendship or interaction is not transactional. It is a beautiful way to enjoy life with others that bring value to you in their own way. Human connection on our terms is a gift and a way of really staying energetic and optimistic about the future.

P.S. - I talked to the McGuires over this 4th of July. I think it's about time for a trip to all get together. They agreed.

Who are some of the friends in your life you would like to see again? Please comment and let me know your story.


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