The art of asking (right) questions

One of my friends lost his job a few months back, and evidently, he was upset about it and worried about his family and mortgage. He literally collapsed into tears in the midriff of the conversation. He continually kept on asking a few questions, questions like the following:

• Why does this always happen to me? Why me?
• How could they do this to me after so many years of service?
• How am I going to pay my loans?
• How am I going to pay my bills?
• How am I going to pay for my kid's education?

I am reading a book about asking the right questions and how effectively it can change the mind. I thought to run a little experiment and interrupted him and said, "don't you think this is the best thing ever happened to you in years?". This question broke his thought pattern, and he said, "this is not funny," with anger. I said, "no, I think probably this is the opportunity you have been waiting for, but sorry it had to come in this way. Now you are truly free, and you can work for yourself. Now the sky is your only limit". My friend always wanted to start his own business to give a background, so I saw his so-called 'misfortune' as a true opportunity for him.

But we need to be in a certain state of mind (great leaders referred to this state as success consciousness) to commit to ourselves and be successful. But he was not there, and he had to get to that state quickly. After convincing him several times, my friend agreed to ask a few questions to himself, and some of them are as follows:

Note: Some of these questions are meant to be asked to find reasons for all the goodness we have in our lives. Some questions assume a future event already happened and asking about it (example - why am I an extraordinary entrepreneur?)

• Why my friends and family trust, love, and respect me?
• Why was I the only one selected out of thousands for that job?
• Why am I so good at focusing while working?
• Why am I an extraordinary entrepreneur?
• Why do I have ironclad faith in myself?
• Why do I love to exercise?
• And many more similar questions.

Then he started answering his own questions, and probably that's all he needed to do. We discovered strangely that how powerful asking the right questions is, not just asking any question. "how can I do this?" is a question without much intensity, but "why can I do this?" is the question to ask.

Success is a state of mind, and it is tough for everyone to be in that state; that's why only very few are successful. I believe that there are several tools to attain a 'success consciousness' state, drive or influence the mind, and have unlimited capabilities. Recent neuroscience studies show how brain patterns are different for different professionals in their respective fields. Studies show that there are 'millionaire's brains' and ‘serial killer brains.’ Based on continuous thoughts that occupy our brains, there is a pattern of neurons formed, which keeps firing similar thoughts. So, once a particular neural pattern is formed, it keeps on generating thoughts or signals that created it. The subconscious mind also plays a major role in firing signals, but 'asking the right questions' is a conscious attempt to attain the 'success' mindset quicker than other techniques. Asking the right questions can get us to that 'mental state' faster by seeking answers through laser focus and attention.

Asking questions engages our brains, but asking the right questions motivates the Mind.

When my friend was in the 'success state,' he navigated through different decision paths, and even he confirmed that he was never in such a mental state before. Once we are in the 'success state,' everything seems possible. We find solutions to the most complicated problems. We see things differently. We know what we need to do without procrastination, and, most importantly, we see hope all over again. My friend was again hopeful, and he actually thanked his current situation of losing his job. If he had not been jobless, he would have never felt this success consciousness by asking the right questions to see beyond the horizon. Sometimes, hard and tough situations finally make us ask five Ws (Why, What, When, Where, Who), and the right answers always pop up when the right questions are asked.

My friend found his passion for starting something of his own, and he is on his way to a better and satisfying life. He starts his day by asking himself - "why am I so successful in what I am doing?" and “what can I do differently today?” and discovers a new inspiring answer every day.

Asking the right questions to own self and seeking answers is a great exercise to get the right direction or perhaps everything needed in life. Ancient knowledge says, "the answer is within," and now we know why.