The Art of Adapting Communication Styles for Meaningful Connections

Have you ever had that sinking feeling that your message just isn’t reaching home?

It could well be that your communication style isn’t in sync with your listeners. And guess what? You need to adapt to your listener’s needs – and here’s why.

The Importance Of Adapting Your Communication Style

Effective communication is essential for building strong relationships and achieving success in both personal and professional settings.

This article explores the importance of adapting our communication style to connect meaningfully with others, and the science behind social connection.

It also provides strategies for understanding and adapting to different communication styles, and the benefits of doing so for individuals, teams, and businesses.

The Science Of Social Connection

There’s a nifty bit of research that was carried out by a leading neuroscientist, Matthew Lieberman. In his book, ‘Social’, Matthew explains that our brains are quite literally wired to seek connection with other people.

When we don’t feel that connection – not getting support for a new initiative, receiving unpleasant news in a way that jars us, or even asking for help and not receiving it – it causes our brains to react in a way that closely resembles our reaction to physical pain. This is transformative knowledge: once you know it, it prompts us to be more kind, empathetic, supportive, and nurturing. It’s my favourite thing that I’ve read about, this year (in the running with anything Brené Brown has written!).

The Brain's Default Mode Network And Social Thinking

Here’s the cool science bit: Lieberman uses functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to show that the brain's 'default mode network' is more active when we are engaged in social thinking, such as thinking about other people's thoughts and feelings, than when we are engaged in non-social thinking.

This research suggests that our brains are inherently social, and that social connection is a fundamental human need.

This all got me thinking about what makes a good connection. And, how difficult conversations are, in effect, flawed attempts at connecting with one-another.

Understanding and Adapting to Different Communication Styles

We all have a fairly good understanding of our own preferred communication styles; for example, I love to hear about my team’s days in detail – I want to know about their triumphs and celebrate those wins with them. It fills my cup but that’s not what effective communication is all about.

Effective communication rests on our ability to connect meaningfully with the other person in the conversation – and to do that, we need to adapt our communication style to their preference. When we fail to do that, the conversation might feel difficult – and that’s because we’ve failed to make a connection with the other person.

And hey, let’s face it, when we get it wrong, it will have a tangible impact on our businesses; we don’t win that new customer, our customer seeks only to speak to one specific person and refuses contact from anyone else, our employees begin to disengage …And we’re wasting precious time, resources and revenue.

So, the first part of really nailing effective communication is quickly ascertaining what communication style your colleague or friend prefers. And to do that, we need to ace the second part - being adept active listeners.

An Overview of Communication Style Assessment Tools

So how do we identify different communication styles and preferences?

Well, there are many frameworks and models that can help us with that, such as the DISC model, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the Enneagram, and so on.

These tools can give us some insight into our own personality traits and communication preferences, as well as those of others.

They can also help us understand how to adapt our communication style to match the needs and expectations of the person that we’re talking with.

It’s worth noting that each of these tools offer insight, but they can’t replace asking how the other person would prefer you to communicate – but I totally get that that question isn’t always easy to ask – or answer – and so, in my view, these tools form a good basis.

For example, some people prefer direct and concise communication, while others appreciate more details and explanations. Some people like to focus on facts and logic, while others are more influenced by emotions and values. Some people are more assertive and dominant, while others are more cooperative and accommodating. Some people are more outgoing and expressive, while others are more reserved and reflective.

And most of us will prefer a different communication style based on the situation, the facts, and even the environment that we’re in.

Speaking of environments – did you know that even something simple, like the angle of pictures in a presentation or poster, can influence how curious we are, in engaging with the material?

By recognising these differences and nuances, and adjusting our communication style accordingly, we can create more rapport and trust with the other person, avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, and achieve our goals more effectively.

We can also show respect and appreciation for the other person's perspective and needs and make them feel valued and heard. This can lead to more positive outcomes for both parties, whether it's a business deal, a customer service issue, or coaching team members.

Strategies That Just Make Sense

This week, I’m creating new material for my Pax8 Academy Group of business owners, all about how we can create better relationships and connections with our employees, with our customers, and with prospects.

It’s all about understanding different communication styles, personality types, and how we can adapt our unique approaches to make meaningful connections with one another to fuel positive business outcomes.

So, effective communication is essential for building strong relationships and achieving success in both personal and professional settings. The foundation of effective communication is understanding the science behind social connection and the importance of adapting our communication style, so that we can connect meaningfully with others.

We can build stronger connections with our colleagues, friends, customers, and prospects. The key is to use strategies such as active listening and understanding different communication styles and preferences.

Those communication skills are critical to building authentic working relationships and creating a positive work environment. They are essential components of positive business outcomes, including increased customer satisfaction, better chances at winning new customers, increased employee engagement, and increased revenue and profitability.

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in exploring, let’s chat! ??

#BusinessGrowth #Leadership #CustomerSatisfaction #EmployeeEngagement

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