The Art of Active Listening: Why Your Ears Are Your Superpower
Sasmita M.
Director, Modulyst Learning Pvt Ltd | We design and offer learning experiences that people love
Buzzing smartphones, the latest Netflix series calling your name, or that delicious artisanal coffee brewing just offscreen—it's alarming how often we forget the art of simply listening.?
Let’s talk about something we all think we’re good at but probably need to work on: listening. And no, I don’t mean the “nodding while mentally planning dinner” kind of listening. I mean active listening—the kind that makes people feel heard, understood, and valued.?
Why Listening Matters:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
This sage observation from Stephen R. Covey rings true in personal and professional arenas.?Many of us find ourselves in conversations where, rather than truly absorbing what the other person is saying, we’re crafting our next brilliant response. You know the type: nodding along, mind racing with thoughts of how to sound clever, while the other person is sharing their heartfelt concerns. Spoiler alert: this rarely leads to understanding.?
Let’s face it—most of us are guilty of “listening” just enough to formulate our next response. It’s like we’re in a verbal tennis match, waiting for our turn to smack the ball back. Here’s a classic example:
Scenario: Your colleague is venting about a tough project deadline. Instead of truly hearing their stress, you jump in with, “Oh, I know exactly how you feel! Last month, I had this crazy deadline too, and here’s what I did…”
Sound familiar? While you might think you’re being helpful, you’ve just shifted the focus to yourself. This is what psychologist Carl Rogers called listening to respond instead of listening to understand. And trust me, it’s a recipe for miscommunication and missed connections.
According to a study by the International Listening Association, we retain only about 25% of what we hear. So, if you’re zoning out and plotting your next witty comment, you might be part of that statistic. Shockingly, this lack of effective listening can result in misunderstandings, poor collaborations, and even the occasional raised eyebrow from your boss when you don’t take their input seriously.?
Active listening isn’t just about being polite—it’s a game-changer for both personal and professional growth. Here’s why:
Research backs this up, too. A study by Hoppe (2006) found that active listening improves workplace relationships and productivity. And according to Goleman’s (1995) work on emotional intelligence, listening is a cornerstone of empathy—a skill that’s crucial for leadership and personal connections.
How to Be an Active Listener (Without Looking Like a Robot):
Active listening isn’t about just hearing words; it’s about engaging with the speaker, asking clarifying questions, and providing meaningful feedback. Simple techniques include:
Remember: every conversation is an opportunity. As the wise Maya Angelou once said, "I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."?
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Cinematic Inspiration:
If you’re looking for some inspiration on the importance of active listening, a few films beautifully illustrate this theme:
A great Hindi movie highlighting the importance of active listening is "Taare Zameen Par" (2007). The film tells the story of a dyslexic child named Ishaan, who struggles to fit into the traditional educational system. Teachers and his family overlook his artistic abilities due to their inability to understand his condition. A compassionate art teacher, Ram Shankar Nikumbh (played by Aamir Khan), recognizes Ishaan's unique talents and takes the time to listen to him, understand his challenges, and support him in overcoming his difficulties.
The film illustrates how effective listening and understanding can significantly impact a child's life and learning journey. It emphasizes the value of giving attention, empathy, and thoughtful engagement to foster personal growth and success.?
"Taare Zameen Par" is an inspirational story and a poignant reminder of the impact that listening and understanding can have on individuals, especially those with unique challenges.?
To Sum Up:
In our personal lives, practicing active listening can enhance our relationships with family and friends. Ever had a friend talk to you about their day while you're half-watching the game? When you finally realize they were sharing something important, it can lead to those dreaded, "You weren't listening, were you?" moments! And let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. You’re halfway through a story, and your friend’s eyes glaze over as they mentally rehearse their next anecdote. It’s like, “Hello? I’m pouring my heart out here, and you’re thinking about your dog’s birthday party?”
But here’s the good news: Active listening is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned. So, the next time someone’s talking to you, resist the urge to interrupt with your “brilliant” insight. Instead, lean in, listen, and watch how your relationships transform.
So, its been my intention to be an active listener (believe me, its not an easy task, with all the distractions!). Active listeners are those superstars of communication who don’t just hear words but understand feelings and intentions. In doing so, not only does their professional interactions improve, but their personal relationships also blossom.?
A bonus of being an active listener: You might even make friends with that colleague you thought was just a talking points machine! Or better still, you will manage to have a heart-to-heart with that defiant teen in your home!
Your Turn!
What’s your experience with active listening? Have you ever had a moment when someone truly listened to you, which made all the difference? Or maybe you’ve caught yourself zoning out during a conversation (we’ve all been there). Share your stories in the comments—I’m all ears!
Until next time, keep listening like your career and relationships depend on it.
Cheers,
Sasmita
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