The army kid life and how it shaped me!

Today I came across an old letter of my dad when he was posted on the borders of India, far far away from home with little or no contact with family. This was the era of trunk calls & letters! These precious letters were a source of motivation & tremendous encouragement for me as a little girl, they also always ended with tears flowing down like a river, because they carried so much love & longing, and great pride I felt for my father. It has been an honor all along! There was a lot of sacrifice & longing that we experienced in this journey and we also learnt some great things that shaped us as people! I want to share some of them that made me who I am today! This is just to motivate & inspire you to take away the best from our experience as children!

Firstly, I cannot thank my father enough for being an #indianarmy officer & serving this nation for 30 long years! A nation that often looks up to cricketers & Celebrities easily but often forgets not just the sacrifices the soldier makes but also what his own family makes.

As a growing child, It was amazing to see the level of dedication, camaraderie, the spirit, the "JOSH" and discipline these gentlemen have! Our gated community - the cantonment, cut off from the regular world, was made of great patriotism, high level of respect for women, a lifestyle of class & its own share of glamour! It was also the greatest example of diversity & inclusion to witness as per those times. Another thing that was lovely was the unsaid decorum & courtesy that prevailed! Growing up amongst them I thought everyone out there in the civilian world was the same! I was wrong!! But it is often seen that most kids of the army families tend to carve there own path, are more secular & display some great skills that honestly no business school can teach. The credit goes to the tough & dynamic bringing up we go through! And here is how:

1.My dad displayed tremendous courage, valor, dedication, self reliance, discipline & great leadership skills on a daily basis because that was his job but it left a lasting impression on us. The ability to take tough decisions & live through them without complains, was a norm! We truly saw the term in actions "Duty comes first" every single day! It helped build our character early on!

2. In dad's absence during a field posting, mom immediately becomes a 2nd in command, no questions asked! These women display tremendous courage, capabilities and leadership skills that they learn on the go! We, as kids learnt responsibility quite early in life because anything can happen on those field postings - good, bad or ugly, where dad may come back or not at all, in either case , we had to keep the show going as a team. Our tasks, boundaries & limitations were clear to us. Hats off to these strong women who hold the fort oh so graciously, even now!

3.We were independent children, made to realize that we are responsible for our choices, failures, accomplishments alike! We were loved to the moon & back but pampered or spoon fed - NOT really!!! We were encouraged to have our own to do lists, goals and aspirations. We were encouraged to be vocal & be able to express our concerns through open conversations & lesser tantrums. Not because it was popular parenting style, but just because we as a family had bigger problems to deal with, which literally were a matter of life & death!

4. We became resilient, confident & street smart, primarily because we were thrown out of our comfort zones every couple of years, shifting cities, changing schools, forcing us to learn, to adapt and have lesser attachments to physical locations and become more friendlier, fearless to face the life's challenges in the long run. We learned to enjoy this part eventually!

5. We learnt about the importance of rules! Everything in the army is clearly defined, with details specified and this results in a structure organization that can operate seamlessly under extreme conditions! We learnt that too, the focus, the ability to define what's next and not go through life aimlessly! Every day had an agenda & for me it still does :)

6. The army parties, festival celebrations, the gatherings the local club filled up the gap of social life one otherwise experienced in the civil. They were a lot of fun activities that kept the families engaged & entertainment, there was always something to look forward to for every age group! In fact a lot of beauty pageant winners started off from the local club may queen balls. Hence giving us all a great platform to show our talents & pursue them too.

7. There was always a focus was on learning new things, developing skills and staying in practice. We saw dad going for numerous courses, trainings & exercises for upskilling and practice. That somehow encouraged me to not be afraid of going back to studies or upskilling myself.

8. We definitely didn't judge our parents with the amount of time they spent with us! if that was the case no army kid would ever love their parent who serves the nation cos they are away 60-80% of the time in our growing years. In fact the distance made the heart grow fonder! Also it is the quality of time that you spend changes the game. I remember whatever time dad spent with us on vacations was about addressing our complains, going out of his way to help me finish the holiday projects till late night, teaching me karate moves for the next championship, solving my emotional troubles & most importantly listening to me. All of this made a difference.

9. We are happier adults, because we know the value of life. No matter what the circumstances (or the location, read posting) we learnt to have Fun, we learnt to party, celebrate the little joys. I remember dad being posted in a remote, terrorist bound location, we went to visit him for 10 days & every night they had a party in the mess, just to celebrate the fact that everyone ended a day at work, ALIVE!! Imagine that!!! (BTW we host the best parties ;) ) We also see the sacrifices people make to keep this nation safe & prospering. We know what kind of a bravery is needed to live this kind of a tough life, with pride and we honor that deeply!

10.We grew up seeing very high standards of respect & regard for women. Our mothers, aunties and young girls were treated with so much of it. They all had a voice, and they all were heard! All the men would stand up from their chair as a regard once a lady walked in! It was delightful to see all that chivalry & courtesy growing up! Hence we know it is possible to do so in this world, no matter if its at home, at work or on social media!!

In the end, next time, you meet a soldier, and ex-soldier or their immediate family, treat them with respect & learn a thing or two from them, mainly because they are the real people who literally have made sacrifices & lived in the midst of turbulence, for your country without many monetary appraisals or incentives offered for doing this everyday! Also you will end up learning a thing or two that no business school or conference can offer! #indiaat75 #happyindependenceday