"Aren't you a little too inadequate to be..."

A few months ago I got an email from Maastricht University announcing the upcoming alumni day, and inviting me to be one of the speakers at the event. The way they phrased it was: "Considering the strong connection you have with University and your international success story, your presence at the Alumni day would be a great honour" and I'm only sharing the direct quote because I started at it for a very very long time and sent a screenshot to a bunch of my friends using it as a justification that they totally send the email to the wrong person. Suffice it to say I'm not great at receiving compliments. I identify way more with "graduate drinking wine with best pals and having a blast in the university courtyard at alumni day 2019" than with "alumni day 2020 international success speaker".

To be honest my first response (which I've also immediately send back to them) was that I'm way too young, green, unaccomplished, etc to speak at any sort of alumni event. But hearing Bo Pirovano's argument that we should be putting out more stories of people starting out, finding their way, and doing new things (like our "young and hip" 25 year old data science degree) I was convinced to give it a try. (and jump out of my comfort zone).

I admit I have the same idea sometimes that only really accomplished, super impressive individuals are the type of people who can be on stage and give an inspiring speech.. But I hope we can also have a space for people sharing with each other their journeys (however short), their successes and especially their failures and struggles in a relatable way. It's comforting to know that everyone is facing the same sort of hurdles or frustrations, and that people don't magically end up as awe-inspiring CEOs overnight with a perfectly polished pitch.

only really accomplished, super impressive individuals are the type of people who can be on stage and give an inspiring speech

At the same time, I had to recognize I also have a tendency (that I think most of my generation shares) to minimize my own accomplishments. Of course modesty and humility are important; I'm definitely not advocating for overinflated egos or overhyping every participation trophy. We all agree that's not proper social (or linkedin) etiquette and people are always fast to remind us so with super polite, nice and constructive comments on the internet. And yet somehow being overly harsh with yourself and excessively downplaying your success is not often seen as a negative in the same way, even if it's just as far from the actual truth or objective impressiveness of your success. (will not even get started on how impossible that is to measure in real life though)

It's the opposite really, I think we (see I) sometimes even take pride in not oversharing or celebrating certain accomplishments, progress, milestones, etc because "it's not really that big of a deal" and there's always someone out there who's done more and is bragging about it less. As if my success is only valid after I've compared it to everyone in my immediate circle or linkedin feed to see how it measures up; rather than what it means to me. I might only post something after a friend who is removed from the situation will push me that "that's actually really cool!! you should be proud, of course it's important" - or getting any similar sort of outside validation; when we ourselves might be desensitized to the scale of our achievement because "everyone of my colleagues did it too".

"it's not really that big of a deal" and there's always someone out there who's done more

I didn't think I was ~worthy~ to give an alumni speech because I only graduated 2 years ago. What's 2 years of fumbling around internships compared to all my team mates at Microsoft, who have been bad ass architects in the industry for longer than I've been alive. I didn't think I had a good enough story because I didn't follow the 5 year plan I set out for myself during my bachelor, because of course life happened, and I can therefore not advocate for good planning, or setting out goals for yourself and reaching them. I don't yet have a cool enough career to talk about.

My point is (however derailed I get) that instead of feeling honored and excited to speak on behalf of my study (which I absolutely loved), I spent days agonizing over how inadequate I am for this, over what people will say if I accept ("she sure thinks very highly of herself") and imagining all the people out there who would be way better suited to give this talk instead of me.

Is this because of who I am as a person, an incurable ambition-driven perfectionist; is it because collectively we are exposed to so many #inspirational stories that the bar is set way too high on what's "worthy"; is it because of all the entitled millennial narratives we read in the news, etc etc. I don't know. I just know I am grateful for this opportunity to just say yes because someone else believed in me enough to ask, and try to change and be easier on myself from now on.

we are exposed to so many #inspirational stories that the bar is set way too high on what's "worthy"

And then of course write about it all to A) make myself even more uncomfortable and B) be honest about my struggles or it defeats the purpose of the whole realization.

So I'll go ahead and try my hand at some #shameless self congratulation, and hope anyone who is reading this and relates to this idea, go ahead and share something you're proud of as well!

Why I'll be speaking at the alumni day

I managed to adjust and figure out my way in an entirely foreign country and get a stable job for myself so my parents never have to send me money again. And I found a beautiful apartment to live in, in a really pretty "gezellig" Dutch town. And I can wake up to do work that's satisfying and challenging and inspiring every day. (I've also added this paragraph as a last thought thinking again that it's not worth mentioning as it's not really "an achievement" but something we all have to do, bla bla, etc, etc. But it's not, it's still something that was hard to do and I'm proud to have achieved at 23 and I will also write and share it. Damn it's a hard habit to get rid of.)

I graduated as a data scientist (sexiest job of the 21st century and all that) with an honours program, as an elected faculty council representative, and volunteer for the institute of data science - I loved being involved in my study and I'll always be excited to talk about it and share my experience from it.

I'm the youngest architect in in the Customer Success Unit for Microsoft in the Netherlands, and while I feel super overwhelmed by how much more experience and knowledge all my ~peers~ have every day, I know I also bring a new perspective, I bring value to customers and my team mates, and I love learning new things all the time.

And lastly and most importantly, even if I hadn't done any of that, I have a story of starting out, and maybe something I say resonates with someone else who is finding their way and is not yet "there". (the elusive perfect life spot)

And I'll now fight the urge to apologize for making a whole article about celebrating myself, and hope this inspires you and everyone to celebrate *yourself*. I'd love to hear what you're proud of, or if you've had any similar thoughts!