Arcane: A Masterpiece or a Misery Parade?

You ever watch something and wonder, “Am I missing something? Did I blink and skip the part where this is supposed to be the greatest thing since sliced bread?” That’s me with Arcane. Look, I’ve been a fan of comics, animation, video games, and everything in between for 40 years. I’m a League of Legends day-one player, so I’ve got the chops to weigh in a tad.

Everyone's so desperate for Arcane to be crowned the best thing ever. “You just don’t get it,” they say. “You don’t understand IP growth, or ROI, or how this expands the League universe!” Spare me. It’s not the best thing on Netflix, and frankly, it wouldn’t even crack my top 50 animated series. It’s beautifully animated, sure, but so is a Pixar short about a sad lamp. Doesn’t mean I want to watch three hours of existential dread dressed up in neon lights and steampunk goggles.

The Characters: Misery Loves Company

Let’s talk about the cast of characters, shall we? They’re not inspiring. They’re not loveable. They’re just... there, brooding in the corner like your mate who drank too much and won’t stop crying about their ex. Vi? Morose. Jinx? Suicidal. Viktor? A walking TED Talk on despair. The whole lot of them are miserable, and it starts to grate on you after a while.

I get it, life’s hard in Piltover and Zaun. But does everything have to be so unrelentingly negative? Where’s the joy? The moments of levity? Even Batman cracks a joke now and then, and he’s got dead parents! If your main emotional tone is “sad and angsty,” it’s not deep, it’s exhausting.

The Overhype Olympics

And then there’s the hype. Oh, the hype. It’s like a cult meeting where everyone’s trying to convince you how amazing it is. “It’s revolutionary! It’s redefining animation!” No, it’s not. It’s good, sure. But revolutionary? Please. Watch Akira. Watch Cowboy Bebop. Those are revolutionary. Arcane? It’s the new kid on the block with a good haircut, but it’s not rewriting the rules of storytelling or animation.

The problem is that the marketing machine is so loud, you start doubting yourself. “Maybe I just don’t get it,” you think. Nope. It’s fine to not get it. It’s fine to look at something and say, “It’s not for me.” But Arcane fans can’t handle that. You’re either on board, or you’re a heretic.

Standards, People!

As someone who’s spent decades immersed in geek culture, I’ve seen better. Way better. If Arcane works for you, that’s great. But for me? It doesn’t hold a candle to the truly great stories and characters out there. Not every piece of media has to be a groundbreaking masterpiece, and that’s okay. But let’s not pretend it is, just because a section of society wants it to be.

At the end of the day, Arcane is what it is: a beautifully animated misery parade. It’s technically impressive, sure. But inspiring? Uplifting? Memorable? Not for me. If I wanted that level of emotional weight, I’d just read the news.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to re-watch Batman: The Animated Series. Because even the Dark Knight knows that a bit of wit goes a long way.