Arc of a Covenant

The Arc of a Covenant. Not misspelled or misstated. It's a different Arc and a different promise, but it's been in existence for thousands of years. There's no death penalty if you see it and it's not locked away in a secret location. It's not protected, although some would argue it's sacred and should be. It's not unique to one religion or people.

It's parenting. And those who experience this Arc fully embrace the blessing, promise, sacrifice, and responsibility that comes with it. The Arc is universal but its curve (for each of us) is individual. Sadly, today it has fewer followers. Compromised by society, maturity, technology, worldly pleasures... it may be less visible but it will never be less valuable.

The trajectory of parenting goes through a series of milestones. First, there's joyful anticipation. These moments are peppered with awe, worry and uncertainty. Will the baby be healthy? Do I know how to be a parent? What if I make mistakes? Books... well, they just give you more to measure yourself against and if it's a first child, that is truly uncharted territory. Parenting cannot be forced into a defined set of actions. Most get through the beginning (as the woman does all the heavy lifting in that first enterprise). As a parent, you now see the world through a much different lens. Before the baby walks, that's the easy part. You have total control. Then comes an avalanche of quickly developing phases, where mom and dad try to adapt, anticipate, improvise, and coordinate responsibilities. You're the manager. Protector. Caregiver. Supervisor. Planner. Activity Director. Coach. Tutor. Chef. Counselor. Champion. Chauffeur. Disciplinarian. Banker. Consultant... Plenty of days you'll wonder how you're doing, right up until the teenage years storm in and you'll be told, "you don't know anything."

Now, things you used to worry about are exchanged for bigger things with bigger consequences. And society - the internet - hasn't made this journey easier. Hopefully, some of your guidance and example will have an impact, but that confirmation is usually delayed until your kid migrates into adulthood. You now become a spectator. Watching to see how your offspring have launched. And if you're fortunate, they survived most mistakes with minimal negative impact. And although there may have been some disappointment, heartache and tears along the way, those emotions get compromised by joy, confidence and pride. Finally, there's time to take a breath. But the Arc, the Covenant...it continues to make demands and leave indelible marks.

What no child can fully comprehend is that they never stop being your kid. You find yourself disguising worry or holding your opinion unless it's solicited. Even then, you may exercise restraint and offer commentary "over easy".

Finally, the most fortunate get to experience life as a grandparent and that's when the true realization of commitment (and sacrifice) comes into focus for your kids. They'll wonder how you did it and you'll watch their (parental) journey with a sense of accomplishment wrapped in emotion. You raised an adult who is centered, self-sufficient, caring, and equipped to navigate life's tribulations. They become the protector. The teacher. And they'll need every ounce of patience to embrace their ascension along the Arc.

Is being a parent for everyone? No. Do most parents expect accolades or some badge of honor for their choice? No. But for those who have been there, done that, this path carries its silent reward. And although it lasts a lifetime, few can accurately communicate the experience and the deep sense of unbridled love and enduring commitment it holds. Minus a lot of details here, this is essentially the parenting Arc of a Covenant.

Every Thanksgiving I momentarily move beyond the festivities to be mindful of my blessings. I also believe many will echo this sentiment as they gather in their homes. Family is not necessarily exclusive to biology; people have close friends they regard as family. And there may have been occasions where some level of parenting was beneficial in those intimate, long-lasting relationships. Whatever the circumstance, at the end of the holiday a lingering thought may repeat in a parent's mind. The best things in life aren't things at all.

Tradition lives with family. Family is enriched with children.

Happy Thanksgiving.