April - becoming nobody

Welcome to April and your monthly nudge of positive energy, a communication designed to help you stop and think what you want to focus on this month, what you need to do to gain that positive energy flow.

Try something new, let go of something that doesn't serve you! Don't hold back! With positive energy the world opens up, our minds feel lighter, our bodies have more to give, we become more open to new possibilities.

Check out the alcohol free boost in the second part of the newsletter!

BEING IN THE MOMENT - ALL 2 HOURS AND 8 MINUTES OF THEM

I ran a half marathon! Not my first but the way I ran this one was a definite first. as I actually enjoyed it! I decided to listen to audible and particularly a book on Budhism: The magic of awareness by Tibeten monk Anam Thubten. The run was an incredible experience. I ran it 20 minutes faster than I had predicted. My second half was faster than my first and I ENJOYED it! I definitely have to attribute part of the success to the running club I recently joined but the rest is definitely due to zoning away from the fear of pain and potential failure and into the mindful musings of this book.

My biggest take away from the book was Thubten talking about becoming "nobody", of breaking the golden chains that tie us - the chains of expectation, of wanting the next thing, of constant worry, of fear. The latter two are harder for me to break as having three children brings a lot of worry and fearand this is something I continue to work on. But the first two I am really finding I am making great strides. Trying not to attach success to the material, to avoid having a string of wants, of potential disappointments, a life plan that is attached to a necessary series of events - I am working on all of this and that's what I did on the run. I just ran and enjoyed that moment - I didn't fear the 13 miles I just enjoyed the one I was doing, and then the next. Stoicism also speaks of a similar idea - not attaching ourselves to external factors that we just can't control. I will talk about this further in another newsletter as I find real wisdom in the stoics but for now why not consider where you are right now and what unwelcome attachments you have at this moment. Can you remove any of these to lighten the load and feel more nobody? - in the best possible sense of course.

DON'T LET THE RAIN STOP YOU!

Continuing on from the theme above..... the rain it does continue in this part of the UK. But what of it? Running club in the rain, dog walks in the rain. The rain is no longer a barrier for me. It is so easy to put barriers in front of us. "When this happens I will..... as soon as I achieve this life will be better, once this birthday is out of the way I will get back to the running". I had such a terrible habit of putting the breaks on everything when one thing popped up to distract me. I am focusing on this now and try to stop myself. The "but ifs" are distractions that we introduce, barriers that we erect. Procrastination is a form of fear and these "what ifs" often come from that same fear. It is all noise. One of my barriers was the weather for my running club so I found myself two accountability buddies and set up a whatsapp group. Accountability leads to action and that led to me running in the pouring rain last week! What can you do to break down those barriers?

STARTING TO OWN YOUR STORY

owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do: Brene Brown

My passion for supporting individuals change their relationship with alcohol has taken me beyond my qualification as a coach as I have now embarked upon a 4 year adventure to become a counsellor. One of the keys to succeeding as a counsellor is to own YOUR story. This is not a task to be taken lightly and I have only just begun but I am enjoying it. I am leaning into uncomfortable feelings. I am sharing my alcohol free journey in our sober Essex group in the hope that it will help others. I am writing and sitting with feelings. It feels really good and I highly recommend it. Daily journaling is a really good space to begin to write those feelings out and if you would like any journaling tips just let me know.

SO WHAT WILL BE YOUR FOCUS FOR APRIL? The key four

It's repetitive but I think it's important and if you agree let's go!!! Here are mine.

1. Non negotiables - connection and journaling
2. Eliminations Facebook! I use it for connection in supporting sober groups but I will limit it to key times of day
3. New focus for the month 100km running leading to 10km runs instead of 5km and a renewed focus on my counselling course.
4. Key words - how do you want to feel What word will be your focus? My word is Mindfulness. I want to continue the Buddhist theme and really make progress on this practice.

Recent wins: as always I ask you to take a quick moment to reflect on a few recent wins in the previous month however small. Focusing on the positive switches the lens through which you view life.

So let's get going into April. If you would like a copy of this template just click here

The Easter long weekend brought a lot of connection for me. And twice I found myself in a pub enjoying a pint of alcohol free beer. I make no secret of my love of alcohol free drinks and I see no problem in consuming them if you don't feel triggered. I love the fact that pubs have my drinks on draft!! But in those early days pubs can definitely be a trigger. I would absolutely recommend changing those habits in the beginning as you need to rewrite your map to block the path that leads your mind to drinking. But if you do change your social situation in the short term I would definitely recommend connecting with some sober groups or groups that have no link to alcohol. Removing all connection can risk isolating yourself and resenting the change. The sober Essex group that I have belonged to for four years and now help run has been a huge support in my own sober adventure. Connecting with like minded individuals is a massive positive boost. I now don't feel at all triggered being in pubs and will happily sip my AF beer along with everyone else, and don't care what they have in their glass. If you are trying alcohol free life check in with the connections that you have made and boost them if you need to

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WANT TO GET IN TOUCH?

As always I would love to hear from you if you are interested in the alcohol free space or positive energy coaching, either for individual or organisation. I offer a free 15 minute clarity call to talk through the best way I can support you. Or take a look at the options below:

• For my online course click here. It combines self paced with face to face check ins
• For 1:1 coaching click here

Or send me an email:

[email protected]

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