Approval Vs Acknowledge
“Yes! Exactly!” the Coach replied, beaming with excitement and pride, after the Client shared an insight just discovered.
During the coaching conversation, the Coach supports the Client to think about something the Client has not thought about, so that the Client can say out the new insight for new action/change to take place. This process is not easy, filled with certain degree of discomfort and fear as Client learns to let go of his/her old identity for the new one to emerge. Coach can hold the space, and can encourage Client to be courageous to shift mindset and see new perspectives.
As Client creates new content, Coach can acknowledge the new insights and effort of Client with respect and curiosity. However, there is a subtle distinction between acknowledgement and approval. Approval of Client’s ideas and insights of the Coach comes from the assumptions of what the Coach thinks is "right" or "wrong", "true" or "false", "yes" or "no". The disposition of giving approval also inadvertently frames and creates the habit of seeking approval from the Coach by the Client, who may start to have filtered thoughts about whether what he/she is going to say next may be approved or frowned upon by the Coach. Pychological safety between Coach and Client can be compromised when judgements enter the room.
Encourage our Clients to be courageous, and acknowledge their truths. They don’t need our approval of their truths, they just need us to witness their truths.
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